Journal of Many

[Sereamha]

*the strokes of this entry are a bit more fanciful*

Made a quill out of a feather from that....feathery dragon. Makes me feel like a scholar.

Dimmae seems to not wish to work on her memory. It is her choice I suppose. I AM sewing her a new outfit, if that helps anything.
Daemonar is happy and yet not. I know she is in turmoil about this Cynny stuff, and I intend to solve it. It could be dangerous, but I have to try. I will ask her first, obviously, hopefully she isn't utterly dead set against my idea. I do wonder at times if I am just fooling myself about certain things concerning her. Telling myself things are not real......when they truely are.

Zarla is healing up well, still in her khutit form. She carries a pretty neat spear with her. Her father's spear, she says. She seems to love it. If I had anything of my father's I would ram it through his stinking skull. That is, if I could even lift the thing before five arrows were in my head. Not likely.

Shinkuu says she will try and aid Zarla in speaking with the spirits of her dead parents. I am not so sure it is a good idea, but....I hope it works.

This new....idea....Shinkuu has concerning my soul. It sounds like it just MAY work....if once.

[Sereamha]

*Another entry that seems stable, if only a little*

I have a way out now. At least.....a way for me to be...hopefully safe if I die again. We have not tested it, so we have no way of knowing if it will work....and if it would work more than once. I trust Shinkuu though, so it all should be fine.

I gave the item that could potentially save me to Zarla. It must be in the hands of a dragon. I am not sure how to explain to her properly....I am not strong with words like Shinkuu is. I told Za to ask kitty about it. She will, hopefully.

Shinkuu.....asked me to essentially destroy her if I see her do certain things. I will not write all she said, for who knows who could get this journal. I.....am not sure how to feel about it. Of course, I am not sure how to feel about many things. I promised her I would though, so I should continue this monkey training I am doing.

Nyoko has gotten under my skin. She seems to greatly dislike me due to my willingness to help people. She....actually poked fun at what I did in the past. I of course don't remember it personally, but I have been told that I sacrificed pieces of my soul to aid another. She DARE make light of that? She DARE say that was wrong? That comment she made really.....really fired my emotions again for a few brief moments. A large side of me is beginning to group her with the evil blighted ones....for she may as well be one. She would allow so many horrid things to happen, all in the name of "It's not her place"?

Ehh....I suppose I should not get so angry. Anger is easier to feel though, compared to other things.

[Sereamha]

*Lots of ink splotches, indicating lots of pauses*


New things....new things.

Daemonar and I spoke again. I have been having a lot of trouble trying to figure out just what she thought of me. What was I to her? Of course, I am not entirely sure what she is to me.

She said I was her best friend. I suppose that makes sense, but before she said she would be willing to follow me to hell. That made me wonder about just WHAT sort of care she held for me. I....asked her if she knew the difference between say.....the love she had for Cynny and the love she had for previous mates.

She...then very relunctantly admitted she....loved me in a...well, in the same way she loved DemonWing.

This...surprised me, and yet it did not. When in her company, I believe I understand what help Shinkuu gets when she is with Shadina. I feel more like myself...when around her and less like the Voided Wraith that I am so close to becoming.

I am not sure what this information will change, really. She is still very much a large dragon and I am an....well...an elf. I have no idea.....but it is a new revelation anyway. I should speak with Zarla or Shinkuu about it.