A monks tale

Marak felt a splintering headache. It was worse now, than it had been before. He sat in a dark corner of the house, with closed eyes, trying to keep the light from hurting his eyes. What was happening to him? For weeks the headaches had gotten worse and worse, and for two days now, he hadn?t been able to go outside. It felt like his head was about to burst, and he kept tearing at his hair, hoping to somehow make his head bigger. Suddenly, with a scream of despair, he fell to the ground, face down and cried. He was certain he was gonna die. There was nothing he could do about. How unfair?.how would he ever tell Maylill? The beautiful pixie with the cute laugh, that always made him smile. They were going to hold an engagement party soon, but he had been avoiding her for days now, afraid that she should see the pain he was in. How would he be able to tell her, that he feared he wouldn?t survive for long. How did you tell your loved one, that you thought you were dying?

?Marak? Is that you in there??, it was the wice of Erasmus, his trainer.
?Are you okay? I haven?t seen you for days now??

Marak opened his eyes, and with a small grunt of pain, he yelled out to Erasmus. ?I am in here. I?m not okay?? and the tears fell down his cheek. .

Erasmus stayed and listened to Marak explaining about the headaches.

?I have seen this before,? he said, after examining Maraks head, ?and I am afraid to say, that you are correct in assuming that it might kill you. I have seen people die from this, but only if they kept ignoring it, just as you have done. It?s time for you to make some decisions, Marak.?

?Your headaches is connection to your use of magic. That?s what is giving you your headaches. To get rid of it, you have to stop using magic. Stop all together. Not only stop using it, but you must forget how to use it?

Marak look puzzled. ?Forget how to use it? How can I do that? I have spent years learning to use magic, how am I suddenly to forget that knowledge??

Erasmus looked him in the eyes, ?I know of a man, that might be able to help you. It?s not easy though. But it?s the only way you can survive. ?

Marak had spent many years becoming a good wizard. He was very good at it and he enjoyed the respect he got from people around him, when he used his magic skills. Respect was something you had to work hard to earn when you were a small pixie. And he had worked hard. And now he had to give it up?
Yet, he knew there was no way around it. If he wanted to live, and have a future with the wonderful Maylill, he had to give up his magic.

After a long night, Marak set out to find this man, Erasmus had mentioned. Now that the decision was made, he wanted to get rid of the headaches as soon as possible.
When Marak found the man and told him what he wanted, the man just looked at him with a cold stare.

"You want to forget how to use magic?", he said. "I have heard of you, pixie, and you are good at using magic. A real credit to your race, I am told. Why would you give that up?"

?I have these terrible headaches, and my teacher Erasmus told me that I had to forget about magic to get rid of them.?

The man?s look softened up and he looked at Marak with a sad look in his eyes.
"Yes, I know about those headaches. I suffered them myself in my young days. And you are correct. You can get rid of the headaches by forgetting you magic skills. But its not easy. What do you plan to do, when your magic's gone?"

Marak didn't know what to answer. He hadn't thought about that. "Well, you need something to do.", the old hermit said, "otherwise, you will just drift back to using magic again. You need something you can focus on as strong as you focused on magic. Come back when you have a plan for that, and I will teach you to forget about magic."

Marak walked around for days, trying to think of what to do, while the headache got worse and worse. He needed to think of something, but all he could think of was Maylill, his love. He hadn't seen her for more than a week now, and he feared that if she saw him, she would instantly know something was wrong. So it was better to avoid her. But that was not easy.

Somehow he found himself in Kion, near Maylill and Fay's house, and that?s when he discovered what it was he wanted to do. He saw this woman, sitting on the ground with her eyes closed, looking to be in perfect harmony with herself. She was a monk. Thats what he wanted to be. In perfect harmony with his mind and body. That was something to strive for, and full of hope for the future, he went to the old man again.

The hermit kept his promise, and helped him forget his magic. It was a strange feeling. It somehow seemed to sap slowly out of him. At first he didn?t feel at all different, but a few hours later, when he tried to conjure a firebolt, he could just barely make a small flame, not big enough to burn anything bigger than a mouse.

The man smiled and nodded when he saw that. ?In a few weeks time, even that small magic ability will be gone?, he said. ?You won?t be able to use magic at all?

Marak thanked the man, and went to find the monk from Kion. Once he had convinced her to teach him how to be a monk, he would go and tell Maylill everything. . He was sure, she would understand why he had not told her anything until he had solved the problem. She was like that. Always forgave Marak and always understood him, no matter how silly he acted, and that was one of the reasons why he loved her.


But things didn't go as Marak had planned.

?You wanna be a monk, you say? Well then you need to say goodbye to the life you had and dedicate yourself to the new one?, the monk trainer said. ?You must have a fresh start to your new life.?

?But I have a girlfriend. I don?t wanna say goodbye to her. She is an important part of my life?, Marak said, tears almost coming to his eyes, at the thought of losing Maylill this way.

?Well, you have to start fresh and new, but when that is done, you can invite things that really matter to you from your old life, back into the new one?, she said while she smiled to Marak.

Marak wasn?t sure about this. He knew nothing about being a monk, but he knew he loved Maylill. But he had been told that to forget about magic, he had to dedicate himself to something else, and he knew not what else it should be. He had to trust the monk, and do as she said.

?Okay?, he said, ?I will do as you ask. I wanna be a monk. Please teach me?

With a smile, the monk put a hand at Marak?s back and turned him around. ?You see that mountain up there?? she asked. When Marak nodded, she continued, ?that?s your first task as a monk. I want you to go up there and meditate on your old life, so that you know where you come from and where you wanna go. I will come each day with food and water, but you must stay there until you fell ready to come back. ?

Marak looked puzzled. ?When will I know if I am ready??

?Trust me?when you are ready, you will know without any doubt, that it is time to come down from the mountain.?

It took weeks before Marak finally felt ready to come down. And when he did, he knew exactly what he wanted from his new life. All his life, he had been a dedicated to his profession, trying hard to earn the respect of people. Respect from others had been the driving force in his life. Now he had met Maylill, and now he wanted her to be the driving force of his life. If that meant giving up being a monk, then that was what he was gonna do. To get rid of the headaches, he had to dedicate himself to something as much as he dedicated himself to being a wizard. He wanted to dedicate himself to love, to Maylill. That would have to do.

Strangely enough, the monk trainer seemed very pleased with that answer.
"You surprise me, little one. That is an unusual decision, but you have spent a lot of time up here, and I am sure the decision did not come to you lightly. You would have made a good monk, but I am certain you have made the right choice."

And that was it. Finally Marak had no more headaches. His magic was gone, but that didn?t bother him at all. He was ready for his new life.

If only the little pixie had known a little more about love and matters of the heart, then he would have known that acting strange, absentminded and spending weeks on a mountain without telling your love about it, was the wrong way to nurture a relationship. The time spent finding a new life, had lost him his love. Maylill was, understandably enough, not willing to wait for a pixie, that clearly did not mean the sweet words he had said, and more often than not, neglected her.

Marak's heart broke, when he found out that Maylill did not want him anymore. But he knew he could not blame Maylill anything. He only had himself to blame for messing up his life so bad. He lost his magic and his love, and now there was only one thing left to do. He had to go back to the mountain and once again, shed himself of his former life and dedicate himself to a new life as a monk. A monk without a love....