What is really expected of a player on chaos?

Ok, I've been playing this game on and off since the game first came out, and I've seen many people come and go. I've seen people get blamed for things they did, and did not do. There is always someone to hate, someone to blame for things, no matter what you do.
I would just like to ask, what is honestly expected of players on chaos?
And no, I don't need to be told to read the rules of conduct, i know them.. I mean expected on a personal level.

If you are really nice and helpful to people, people always want MORE, if you don't give that to them, you are a bad person and people turn their backs on you. (don't tell me it's not true, its personally happened to me!)
On the other hand, if you stick to yourself, don't talk to anyone and do your own thing, you become one of "those" people. Branded as a snob, a jerk, or something else along those lines.

Personally, the conclusion I've come to, and I could be wrong, but as I said, this is just on my end; is that people want you to smile, hold hands with everyone, help everyone, take nothing for it, but on the other hand, do not expect anything when you need it; its a take take take take world.

And I always see people say things about other people that I know, which will remain nameless, and hate them, etc.. Yet all of those problems have been long over with. It just seems to me people will never be happy, no matter what.

To not be considered the jerk, do you have to be bled dry?
I see specific groups being targeted as the ones ruining peoples fun, but to me, and many other people i know; the fun isn't being ruined by those people... It's the ones pointing the fingers to the other people.

I know this has gotten dreadfully long, but hey, this is a rant section.
And I would REALLY like to know what people HONESTLY expect from players. (on chaos only, its the only server I play on) ((and before im told to just switch to another server, keep in mind, i don't want to play on another server. I started on chaos, shadow shard, and will go out on chaos server))

I guess it's the same as in real life.
You walk the fine line between caring for others and caring for yourself.
It's impossible to do good in everybody's eyes and please all, so don't try, you will fail and feel miserable.
Don't do things you don't want to do just to please others and accept some will not like you for it. People who turn their backs because they run into your boundaries will always be there and really, they are not the people who deserve your attention, it's not what you did, they are just showing their true colours.
Cheer up :)
A bit to early but best wishes for 2009, in game and in real life!

ps
playing fair is always a good thing to do :)

Im very seldom on chaos so wont comment directly on your post, because i know nothing of the enviroment on chaos presently. But one thing thats always shocked me is that people have an expectation that everyone on a shard will get along. Thats unreasonable expectations, its not isolated to choas, not isolated to istaria and certainly not even isolated to MMOs.

No player should be put through being insulted for any game decision they make, but just like real life their will be the name callers everywhere, i never let that group get me down, at the end of the day i have no expectations of anyone but myself in game(saves the disappointment) and couldnt care less who likes me or not on Order, its a big realm and ive got enough friends i dont need to even put myself in contact with those that dont like me or the folks i dont like.

well syn, here's my thoughts -
in a game this small, helpful experienced players are a must and a need. elders players have to be willing to help newbies out, plain and simple.

but - not to the detriment of one's own gameplay! helping out does not mean babysitting or doing the work for a newbie.

so here is my measuring stik to help. i will gladly do what i can the first time you ask. how you react to the help and what you do next tells me if i will wish to assist you anymore.
if you come right back with more demands (let's face it, they are demands....) for things you don't need yet or can do yourself, i politely decline further assistance.

if i am busy and cannot assist at the moment, i have no problem telling a newbie so.

if i don't like you, i have no problem telling you i can't help you.

if i don't feel like helping at the moment, i will let you know that i can't assist right now, but if you still need help when i am done, i will do what i can.

players with a modicum of gaming experience or common empathy and courtesy will understand.
noobs will not care and will take everything until you have nothing left to give - and that will taint the assistance you may or may not offer in the future.

so syn, all i can tell you from my experience is this: help as much as you want to. do not worry about what someone who may not be happy with you may say or try to do. the peeps who really know you already know you are a good person and a good player.

and to the noobs out there - rest assured that denegrating a known player does not earn you brownie points with us. after all, we know them, and we do not know you.
be gracious when assisted in any way and do not pester your benefactors constantly - we will all be more than happy to help you out down the road if you try to do things on your own first......