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Thread: "omg FIRST!!1!"

  1. #1

    Default "omg FIRST!!1!"

    Die.

    Okay, maybe not "die" per-say, but, for those of you who know what I'm talking about, you'll know what I mean.

    The "First Post" morons. If you haven't seen at least one of those in your travels across the great expansive universe that is the internet, you obviously haven't... uh... traveled across the great expansive universe that is the internet. I like to call them "First F's" myself. (By "F's", I'm referring to that all-too-vulgar word that begins with an "F" and, for those with their thoughts in the gutter 24/7, implies sexual activity, of course)

    They just... I just... Frick! I don't even know what to say about them! I mean, what amount of prestige could one possibly hope to gain from being the first person to post a response to something online? I mean, it's everywhere, about everything. Videos, music, forum posts, art, games--it's like an infectious disease. If you ever become popular online for any reason, you're almost setting yourself up for those First F's to come in, acting all high and mighty posting nothing aside from "FIRST". That's it. "FIRST", in the space where the real first poster, who no-doubt had a real, honest and heartfelt comment to make, only to be scared off my the First F above them, simply because they'd rather not be seen in the same thread that attention-starved glutton is in was going to post.

    Really, what lonely, unhappy, lonely, neglected, lonely, unwanted, pimple-on-the-rear-of-society would stoop to such a level as to attract pure, unadulterated loathing simply because it's the only attention they know how to get? Why, I ask you! Why!? It's annoying, it's ignored, it's--sadly, in cases of more than one of those morons crowding in the same place--looked upon with jealousy(?) by those that hath been denied such a coveted position amongst the pantheon of (un)desirables that would aspire to become the most despised individual in all the world wide web.

    So, why, I ask, would they bother (apart from the last, blatantly sarcastic reason) to do something so obnoxious? So vein? So self-absorbed as to shout at the top of their keystrokes "FIRST" with such a might as to ward off any who would genuinely wish to befriend the one such unwanted attention had originally attracted?

    I've seen it far too often, in far too many places to count online. It's... so... so... SO... I can't even think of a word that would do the amount of exasperation and detest I feel at the sight of those sorts, I hate them that bad. They're like parasites, leeching off of those that actually have friends, a following, a fandom or some form of genuine adoration toward them. Do they think that by exclaiming "FIRST" for all the world to see will somehow skyrocket them to popularity as the one they wish to leech off of?

    I find it impossible to attempt to comprehend the idiocy that must compose the mental faculties of such individuals. No one wants them--even other First F's despise one another simply because they weren't the ones to get that first post position. They're hated by their own kind! That must amount to something. I'll take spammers over them (Ugh), I'll take "|33t" speakers over them (UGH!), I'll take... well, no I won't take that over a First F.

    But it's a close second!

    Who, for the love of Drulkar, thought up such an inane, mindless idea in the first place? Who started this whole new wave of anxiety that would wash over those with intelligence higher than that of a five-year-old?! Who would, with no life outside of a sick fetish for blatantly aggravating every single soul in the world propagate such a mockery of the human mind?! Who, I ask you?! AND WHY?!

    *hurf*
    *gasp*
    *sigh*

    Thank goodness for Istaria's community. I love you guys.
    Chaos: Gael Tycarren--Dragon
    "I just... want to remember."

  2. #2

    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    There's only one thing to say in this first reply...
    You can get anything you want in life -- just make a lot of noise and bite the right people.

  3. #3

    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Steelclaw View Post
    There's only one thing to say in this first reply...
    Noooooooo! The corruption! It spreads... ._.
    Last edited by Armameteus; November 5th, 2010 at 08:16 AM.
    Chaos: Gael Tycarren--Dragon
    "I just... want to remember."

  4. #4
    Member Sigi's Avatar
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    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    Lol,
    I have wondered about those OMG First comments. I thought it was about some competition I didn't know about but it is just really insane behaviour. Weird.

    Hurray! Mor
    rison is back at his house near Bristugo!
    And the wisps on wis
    p isle are moving again!
    If you can't see 'em, you know you've got proper invisible runes.


  5. #5

    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    Annoying-ness aside, it really is a wonder how such a thing got started and spread nearly everywhere.

    I'm sure everyone at some point in time had a really urgent question only to have it no be replied to for three hours- right about the time you gave up and went to bed. This to me is more annoying than have someone reply with no answer.

    Truth be told, on some forums, it really is a form of competition. Who can answer quickest and who can answer with the most helpful information.
    Typing out helpful information often loses you that 'quickest' status, so typing out something useless won't. It's like any other game made up on forums, only there is a clear winner. With a forum of 10k+ on at any given time, getting a 'first' is quite harder. The difficulty increases the fun of the game that people can play at work while they dream of the game they play after work (Sorry to derail your rant, but that is my take on it anyways.)

  6. #6

    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    Annoying-ness aside, it really is a wonder how such a thing got started and spread nearly everywhere.
    It is just like any other Memetic Mutation (aka "meme").

    Nobody knows how the *bleep* it gets started, it might be funny the first 2 times you see it, but everyone thinks that they should add their name to the list of millions doing it and it quickly gets old and everyone wishes it would just simply DIE.

  7. #7

    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    Sometimes if I see somebody say "first" as a reply for something, I'll put down "last" as a reply, just to see what happens.
    I just lost the game.

  8. #8

    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    Quote Originally Posted by jerk-o View Post
    Sometimes if I see somebody say "first" as a reply for something, I'll put down "last" as a reply, just to see what happens.
    Hee, hee. I might want to try that sometime.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shian View Post
    Annoying-ness aside, it really is a wonder how such a thing got started and spread nearly everywhere.

    I'm sure everyone at some point in time had a really urgent question only to have it no be replied to for three hours- right about the time you gave up and went to bed. This to me is more annoying than have someone reply with no answer.

    Truth be told, on some forums, it really is a form of competition. Who can answer quickest and who can answer with the most helpful information.
    Typing out helpful information often loses you that 'quickest' status, so typing out something useless won't. It's like any other game made up on forums, only there is a clear winner. With a forum of 10k+ on at any given time, getting a 'first' is quite harder. The difficulty increases the fun of the game that people can play at work while they dream of the game they play after work (Sorry to derail your rant, but that is my take on it anyways.)
    I suppose it's only fair to see both sides of the argument. And, as Dhalin stated, I suppose, once upon a time, it was just a funny little game someone thought up for a few chuckles. But the problem is that more people started to do it, and now it's seen as obnoxious. The trolls especially love it--it's like a drug to them. I can't tell you how many people I've seen that say "First", get a scathing response from someone who's finally fed up with such stupidity, and are immediately responded to with either "Feed the Troll lololololololol" or "Cool story, bro." I swear, I'd love to disembowel the one that thought that last one up (but that's a WHOLE different rant).

    The largest problem with this whole "First" nonsense is that nowadays, when someone sees someone else has gotten the "first post", one of two things always seem to happen, specifically on a 'thumbs up' or 'thumbs down' comment system:

    1) The comment is not even glanced at by anyone, because they assume that the person who made the first post is one of those people and immediately, without any consideration whatsoever, mark it down and continue on to the next comment.

    OR

    2) The comment is seen by a First F, and, realizing they've been stripped of the chance to claim that spot as their own and deride anyone who would dare muscle in on their territory, they mark it down out of spite.

    So, in either case, genuine or no, the first poster 9 times out of 10 is looked upon with scorn either because he's "taken" the spot of the "deserving" first poster or because someone who's all too used to seeing them infecting every inch of the online social network assumes that everyone in the first position is scum. As such, no one can ever win. You get the first post, you've essentially set yourself on a one-way path to the blacklist of virtual society. It's just sad.

    Even I tend to find myself waiting for someone else to take the spot so I'm not the first poster, it's that bad sometimes. But now, I'm actually seeing people doing "SECOND" posts or "FIRST PAGE" posts too! I mean, where does it end? What is it? A race? You don't get anything for "coming in first", so what the hell do you hope to get from being "second" or "on the first page"? How far can it possibly go? How much more convoluted can it possibly get?! "FIRST POST ON THE TENTH PAGE OF THE SECOND THREAD IN THE "LOOK I'M FIRST" FORUM TOPIC! WOOT!" I'll claw my own eyes out if that day ever arrives! Grah!

    My point is, it's not fair in any way to the people that have honestly thought-out or otherwise informative things to say. You get the first post, you get hate. And lots of it.

    Youtube? THUMBS DOWN!

    DeviantART? COMMENT BLOCKED!

    Pretty much any MMO website in existence? DIE, FIRST POSTER! DIE!!!

    Istaria? ...Thank you for being my haven from such ravenous bouts for hate-popularity. *sniffle*
    Chaos: Gael Tycarren--Dragon
    "I just... want to remember."

  9. #9

    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    Start a movement to get sites to write a script to automatically filtre out any ******** "First" posts. They can write them to filtre swears, they can write them to filtre retards too.


    Sleel

  10. #10

    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sleel View Post
    Start a movement to get sites to write a script to automatically filtre out any ******** "First" posts. They can write them to filtre swears, they can write them to filtre retards too.


    Sleel
    Oh, that would be a GODSEND. Sadly, that kind of thing is usually something people will try to by-pass, spelling the word strangely, using l33t-speech, etc. They'd have to filter out every different variant to be effective, because those trolling idiots always seem to love wasting their time trying to find by-passes that work. It can take a lot of work to monitor that kind of thing and sadly, few people with the kind of power to do anything about it actually care.

    Some sites even praise their members for doing it, rewarding them with virtual money or something if they're the first people to post something in a new thread/forum etc. It's deplorable, and I fear will likely be something that won't disappear any time soon.
    Chaos: Gael Tycarren--Dragon
    "I just... want to remember."

  11. #11

    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    The problem with filters is that they filter out ALL occurrences of the word. No writing Assassin. According to the filter, it contains a bad word and must be blanked out!

    Someone writing a guide on said forum would sound like it's a guide filled with swear words instead of steps. "First you cast buffs" etc.

    Filters are really annoying and only hurt legitimate players.

    Vindictus has a swear filter. Can't count the number of times I've written out instructions that take up 4 sentences only to be met with feedback of "This contains a word that is not allowed" and I generally end up not bothering to type it all out again as the battle has started.

    Those that want to swear or whatever always find a way around it, so why bother?
    Last edited by Shian; November 10th, 2010 at 02:25 AM. Reason: I can spell...

  12. #12
    Member velveeta's Avatar
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    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    how would you know who the idiots are if they didn't do idiotic things?
    you can't cast a play in hell and expect angels as actors
    check out my game blog: https://velveeta3.livejournal.com/

  13. #13

    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    Quote Originally Posted by Shian View Post
    The problem with filters is that they filter out ALL occurrences of the word. No writing Assassin. According to the filter, it contains a bad word and must be blanked out!

    Someone writing a guide on said forum would sound like it's a guide filled with swear words instead of steps. "First you cast buffs" etc.

    Filters are really annoying and only hurt legitimate players.

    Vindictus has a swear filter. Can't count the number of times I've written out instructions that take up 4 sentences only to be met with feedback of "This contains a word that is not allowed" and I generally end up not bothering to type it all out again as the battle has started.

    Those that want to swear or whatever always find a way around it, so why bother?
    This is where proper use of regex statements (if you were doing this in PERL/CGI) comes into play.

    Instead of filtering, say, "foo", you'd filter " foo " (note the spaces before and after foo). For compound words (like a-hole), you'd filter them specifically like "foobar".... well, more like " foobar ". That way, when legitimate words like "grape", "drape", etc comes up, they don't get filtered. Now, someone can do something like _foo to get around the filter, but that's why you put a rule against it in the forum rules and ban anyone doing it repeatedly.

    But for 90% of swearing, it'd filter out your intended words, but still allow them to be used inside of other, legitimate words.

    I used to own, and moderate a roleplaying chatroom, it was one of the best-filtered on the internet, but yet had zero complaints about not being able to use legitimate words.

  14. #14

    Default Re: "omg FIRST!!1!"

    Quote Originally Posted by velveeta View Post
    how would you know who the idiots are if they didn't do idiotic things?
    If you're saying "How can you call them idiots just for doing the "first" thing?" than I suppose that's just my inner rage lashing out and stooping to the level of calling them names. What I meant to say was that they're conceited, arrogant, self-centered, greedy, callous, narcissistic, and all-around inconsiderate of other people who actually have useful/informative opinions/ideas.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dhalin View Post
    This is where proper use of regex statements (if you were doing this in PERL/CGI) comes into play.

    Instead of filtering, say, "foo", you'd filter " foo " (note the spaces before and after foo). For compound words (like a-hole), you'd filter them specifically like "foobar".... well, more like " foobar ". That way, when legitimate words like "grape", "drape", etc comes up, they don't get filtered. Now, someone can do something like _foo to get around the filter, but that's why you put a rule against it in the forum rules and ban anyone doing it repeatedly.

    But for 90% of swearing, it'd filter out your intended words, but still allow them to be used inside of other, legitimate words.

    I used to own, and moderate a roleplaying chatroom, it was one of the best-filtered on the internet, but yet had zero complaints about not being able to use legitimate words.
    Now there's an idea. If only there were more people like you who could go around to every website that has these pricks and really shove a potato in their metaphorical tailpipe.
    Chaos: Gael Tycarren--Dragon
    "I just... want to remember."

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