New Character - Advice/Critique/Etc wanted

[neva]

I haven't been honestly on Istaria in several years. So instead of using my old characters, I created a brand new one to relearn not only the game, but the new community. To shake off the old past stuff that harbored me and just-- have a fresh go again.

As such, I'm working on a new character profile and would love some of you guys to critique it. Give me some advice and just general help on filling out any holes you guys see in this design. Including if you believe it may or may not work.

Thanks!

Name: Ixenioth
Age: Unknown
Gender: Male
Race: Dragon
Family: None/Dead
Faction Direction: Leaning Lunus

Personality:
I'm still working on the details for Ixenioth's personality. I don't really see him as a cruel type, but he does have a slight distrust for those who are not his kind. Maybe either due to some bad experiences before he was 'killed' for the first time, or it was because of some people that were behind some stuff. A detail I will work out in the history concept.

I see him as being though slightly curious and caution sometimes gets thrown to the wind, probably worse once he fully understands he /can't/ die (may whoever have mercy on him). Maybe that he is also a bit stubborn and bullheaded. In order to learn things, he sometimes needs to be slammed on the head with a diamond board to get it through his thick skull.

He /can/ be friendly and he can be loving, but he can also come across as a jerk if your not one of his kind. Still kinda shaky on some of this.

History Concept:
I am thinking for his history concept is some key points. After some reviews, opinions, etc, I will probably revise this and clean it up further.

- His original father was militaristic in nature. Maybe was young when Lunus was in charge. Helped in wars forward as like a general (or whatever the dragon version would be).
- His mother was more Helian, but loved his father, so though she didn't always agree with him, she stuck by his side out of love. She was also the one who 'cooled' his 'rage' sometimes.
- Had an older brother, who was true cold jerk. Liked to always be at the top and never second best.
- older brother probably pissed off a human somewhere, their father had to get him out of that bind, but this could be the event that come and bite them back later.
- Time went along, Ixen started his own training by lessons given by some of the Lunus elders at that time. He wanted too also be like his father, but not like his brother. He didn't like his brother's growing cold ways of doing things and how he treated others under him like lesser worms. It really bugged Ixen to no end.
- Got in a fight time or two with his brother. Typically always lost.
- During a mission training exercise with their father. Things went south for the whole group. They were attacked by a group of humans (maybe some other races). Battle broke out there. This is where Ixen 'died'.
- Who knows how many years has passed. Ixen wakes up on a strange island alone and no one even remembering him. Now he is out on the world alone, trying to understand what has happened, and thinking the humans did some crazy time warp spell (or something).

[neva]

I went ahead based off this information and wrote up a bit of a story of his introduction. If anyone like to read it, here is the link: http://community.istaria.com/forum/e...innings-Part-1

I may be writing up part 2 later on, once more details become clear to me. Please feel free to leave comments!

[Kryodrache]

I haven't been honestly on Istaria in several years. So instead of using my old characters, I created a brand new one to relearn not only the game, but the new community. To shake off the old past stuff that harbored me and just-- have a fresh go again.

I have to admit, reading that instantly made me want to do the same thing. I love fresh starts, makes you feel like a new you, rediscovering past delights.

As such, I'm working on a new character profile and would love some of you guys to critique it. Give me some advice and just general help on filling out any holes you guys see in this design. Including if you believe it may or may not work.

Thanks!

Name: Ixenioth
Age: Unknown
Gender: Male
Race: Dragon
Family: None/Dead
Faction Direction: Leaning Lunus

I love the name, first off. Age unknown works pretty well, since dragons are frozen in time as such... makes it unfortunate for them in some cases. Though, does he appear more childlike or more adult, is the question I would ask. Family none/dead is fine, just because Istaria is so dangerous a place, there are orphans errywhere.

Personality:
I'm still working on the details for Ixenioth's personality. I don't really see him as a cruel type, but he does have a slight distrust for those who are not his kind. Maybe either due to some bad experiences before he was 'killed' for the first time, or it was because of some people that were behind some stuff. A detail I will work out in the history concept.

I see him as being though slightly curious and caution sometimes gets thrown to the wind, probably worse once he fully understands he /can't/ die (may whoever have mercy on him). Maybe that he is also a bit stubborn and bullheaded. In order to learn things, he sometimes needs to be slammed on the head with a diamond board to get it through his thick skull.

He /can/ be friendly and he can be loving, but he can also come across as a jerk if your not one of his kind. Still kinda shaky on some of this.

It makes sense, to me, that he might be distrusting of bipeds. It was the humans, after all, that wrecked The Sleeper (What an interesting read, that was!) and messed up a lot of dragon spiritual traditions, presumably their aging problem as well as removing one of the most epic of their idols. All because Elial had to mess around with rifts and tears in reality, jerk. I like the idea of a character being less "I love everything!" and more "I have strong opinions and will fight for them" because that causes conflict in RP, and plot/story cannot be created without conflict. Not easily, anyway.

History Concept:
I am thinking for his history concept is some key points. After some reviews, opinions, etc, I will probably revise this and clean it up further.

- His original father was militaristic in nature. Maybe was young when Lunus was in charge. Helped in wars forward as like a general (or whatever the dragon version would be).
- His mother was more Helian, but loved his father, so though she didn't always agree with him, she stuck by his side out of love. She was also the one who 'cooled' his 'rage' sometimes.
- Had an older brother, who was true cold jerk. Liked to always be at the top and never second best.
- older brother probably pissed off a human somewhere, their father had to get him out of that bind, but this could be the event that come and bite them back later.
- Time went along, Ixen started his own training by lessons given by some of the Lunus elders at that time. He wanted too also be like his father, but not like his brother. He didn't like his brother's growing cold ways of doing things and how he treated others under him like lesser worms. It really bugged Ixen to no end.
- Got in a fight time or two with his brother. Typically always lost.
- During a mission training exercise with their father. Things went south for the whole group. They were attacked by a group of humans (maybe some other races). Battle broke out there. This is where Ixen 'died'.
- Who knows how many years has passed. Ixen wakes up on a strange island alone and no one even remembering him. Now he is out on the world alone, trying to understand what has happened, and thinking the humans did some crazy time warp spell (or something).

Avoiding any Time Warp jokes, I'll first mention that when Lunus and Helian factions were fresh and new... it would be exceedingly difficult for a Lunus to have a Helian mate. The Helian, surrounded by the Lunus faction, would be frequently scorned, demoralized, and even attacked. Depending on how much of a fanatic his father was, he might have even been cruel to his own wife, which is also a possibility. She'd be seen as lesser-than because her factions' opinions differed.

And this, itself, is my own opinion as well. These two broke out into war with each other, so I can only go off of what I know, assume, and theorize. There could always be lingering grudges amid the humans that were ticked off, newer generations down the line that heard of "that dastardly dragon" and feel the urge to take care of business themselves to impress the neighbor girl (or boy) down the street. Which would bring an interesting view of moralities if Ixen ever has to fight a young, inexperienced kid with way more magical abilities than he should have been trusted with before.

I like the idea overall, of course! I love that you've put this much thought into it, and I'm wondering how much effort you also put into your posts. While I don't often look for six-paragraph posts, I also am not a fan of one-liners. If your posts are anything like you've put here, with just enough detail to keep it clear and enough personality to make it feel believable, I'd only be too happy. Go for it! And, hey... see if you can upload a pic of that dragon here, once you roll him up. I don't play on the game anymore, because my subbie is out, and all I can do is play humans. Does NOT compare.

[neva]

You have a point there about the Helian and Lunus thing. I'll need to take a closer look at the time line and double check those little facts if I ever get to much into detail.

Though I do thank you for giving some advice and opinions. It helps, it really does.
As for a picture.. uuh. I'll see if I can get a screenshot of him later. XD