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Thread: Reality One - what a game

  1. #1
    Member peladon's Avatar
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    Mar 2006
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Or somewhere else...

    Default Reality One - what a game

    I try not to do it very often - but for a moment, let me set Sephiranoth aside . Because last night something a little unusual happened - at least, and saldy, less usual in these tides than once it was (down, Sephie! ). Because I was on Chaos, and in Market - and in a group conversation! Yay! Not so common now we have fewer people around than in the old days. And that - 'old days' - was part of the conversation. We were (or maybe I was - I'm old, and so is Sephie in Istari terms) reminiscing about times past. About the days when dragons could only be hatchlings, because the Adult Rite hadn't been released yet. About the terror of a hatchlings first solo run from Chiconis to Harro. About the Cleansing of Felathien, the night of the old server merge when the Devs went crazy and the land cracked and groaned, and DPs were canceled for a night as the Gifted fought the gods. Lordy, memories.
    Anyway. Part of the conversation meandered past an old piece I'd written for the Devs and Velea a long time ago about what charming, wonderful and always-grateful folk we players were (heh - well, not quite that content, but never mind). And that got us onto a view of Reality if it were a game - the cancer nerf, the horrible patching cycle, and such. And that reminded me of another old piece I posted here long and long ago - and tempted me to re-post it. So here it is. There's a line in it that may feel a little political, but it's not intended that way - this was written over six years ago, so I hope none take offence.
    Anyway. on with the motley. Here it is - a plea to the Devs of the game we know as Reality One, sent (in theory) via the Devs of Istaria, who we all know control the universe .

    To the gods of Istaria, greeting.

    Mine avatar hath sought that I bring this speaking to thee. As very gods, he hath hopes that ye may have lines of communication to the authorities of his land on matters that hath brought him to speak, and that ye might bring them his speaking that the matters be resolved. He hath sought the service desk, but it seems he cannot find the number...

    OK. I've been patient already. I've been mumblety-mumble years of fardling patient! I've been a loyal player to date, but enough is enough. Your attitude is totally unacceptable and your product... Well, I could paper the walls of a very small room in my so called house with the things I could say about your product.

    How anybody could issue a thing like this and call it finished is quite beyond me. It barely qualifies as a beta release! We're talking bugs, we're talking unfinished classes, we're talking totally %^&a;[email protected]* parts of essential functions... We're talking lousy communications, broken promises from the Devs... OK. I'll stop ranting. You want examples? I got plenty!

    Let's take stuff that was promised, well from pre-release I guess. But certainly from when I started playing. Don't-need-to-math spells. Oh, yes. You had those DEC PDP-8 things. But they hardly lived up to the release hype. I mean, I had to lie on the floor doing math to work out the flip switches to even start them up! You call that a castable spell? How come you didn't wait to release until you had those multi-core Intel thingies done? Noooo, you had to go right on and push to market. And broken Dev promises? Lord, if I hear one more time ' Yes, we'll have fusion in 5 years', I swear I'm gonna come round to your offices and sort out the Dev spokesman. And that Model T transporter thing! Riiiiiight. I had to wait this long for the Porsche 911? Not that I could ever have one anyway, right? And how many times has my personal flying car been promised? Next release you say? Of course you do. Like the last fifty thousand times.

    And speaking of coming round to your offices (something of an expedition, given I can't find the zip, code never mind the contact details), quests. Quests! There was all that big thing about the RoT ( Rite of Teenager {tm}). What a crock that was! I went through that whole puberty thing, took me bloody years to complete. What did I get? Hah! You nerfed my Oh-Isn't-He-Cute V and gave me Acne III. Oh, and Invisiblity X. Yay! Invisibility! So how come it only worked on girls? And then? I'd just about got the hang of Grunting XII and Lost-Homework XX, when you give me all sorts of big ideas about RoA ( Rite of Adulthood {tm}). So what then? You promise I'll lose the Invisibility to girls. Well, you sure delivered on that. So I get hoard leak as soon as they see me (you gave them the Evaporate Coin XXX didn't you?) and an endless grind to replace it! And bugs? Shaving! What's that all about, then?

    And the economy! Where did that come from? Put simply, it just don't work. I mean, I do the endless grind thing and my gold? What gold? Even apart from the Evaporate Coin thing, that whole stock market deal? You're kidding, right? And plots? You want a plot in Washington DC, what, 500 square feet, no industrial zoning, where am I going to find a million gold? Oh, right. I could try the Enron exploit and that stuff, but that's not the type of player I am. Not that those who do ever get Plague V or anything. Just sock their coins and move on. Oh, apart from that Trump player you gave Silly-Hair III to set an example. Well, that worked out well, didn't it?

    Bugger it. I don't know why I bother. The only reason I'm still playing is that, as if you didn't know, you've got about the only game on release. Well, just so you know, soon as anyone gets a new one out I'm quitting. And taking my whole clan of, well, of... um... OK! So I'm a clan of me! Well, I'm quitting (when did you put that Invisibility thing back on with girls? I thought you'd got rid of that old bug!)

    right. Just you see. I'm off to Istaria. At least I can fly there...

    Disgusted, Reality One.

  2. #2
    Member velveeta's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    le palais du fromage and industrial complex, cliffside, shepherd's mountain, blight

    Default Re: Reality One - what a game

    buried somewhere, deep in the bowels of the forum, is the post i wrote to the evil gods - those names never to be spoken - during the time of troubles.
    i felt you then, and i feel you now, my brother!
    you can't cast a play in hell and expect angels as actors
    check out my game blog:
    ogle the menagerie:

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