Movie Theater Etiquette

[Vaz]

I'm not for spanking personally. It's weird. You don't spank an other human being and I really think you're sending a wrong message. Why can you hit a child while you get angry when the child hits a friend or a brother or sister?

I agree with this. Maybe some children are too stupid to understand anything other than corporal punishment, but nevertheless, spanking and such - no matter how gentle - presents the idea that it's okay to use physical force to make a point.

[RuneDragoon]

I dislike children. This is one reason why. A child having autism is one thing, however (Understandable) while a child that simply isn't being kept in line by the parents is another thing. I notice more frequently that parents just let their kids run around like wild animals... some of them should be put on leashes to avoid embarrassment & tragedies (I have heard of kids playing on the escalator at work and almost mortally injuring themselves). And I guess I sound cruel when I see some people and wonder why they have had kids in the first place...

For example, a mother and her 13 year old came into the coffee shop. While she ordered a drink, he went right to the sidebar just to mess it up and start throwing sugar packets at my boss. (I know the three word acronym you likely think of now is WTF?) When questioned politely on why he was doing this, his mother rushed over and stated "He is only 13 years old! Give him a break!" ... 13? He should know better. Unless he is impaired.

I am reluctant to go to a theater. Its expensive, the food is overpriced, and did I mention I really really enjoy kids, especially when their parents cant be bothered to even lift a finger these days? Yeck.

[velveeta]

if it is odd, you are at least not alone, rune -
i thank whatever god there may be that i never made the two biggest mistakes a woman can make in her life.......
i never got married and i never had kids.

in fact, i got myself fixed as soon as i could find a doctor who would perform the procedure......

yes i have children in my life. for some unexplained reason, i have two godkids. i have taken them to movies, to the store, and every other public place. i have never hestitated to scold them, literally yank them out, and yes, i have spanked them (there is a family legend about the time my 5 year old goddaughter punched me so hard in the stomach i doubled over and lost my breath. i proceeded to knock her down as well.). their parents are not afraid to discipline their children whenever needed in whatever way that works. the above daughter was pulled out of disneyworld and her and her mom sat in teh car in the parking lot for 10 hours while everyone else got to have fun. she never misbehaved like that again.

however, in my experience (i went to my local IMAX to see 'dark knight' yesterday) - its the adults who are the worst offenders. talking, cell phones, stoopid pranks with food, yelling to their buds 20 rows in front - that's adult behavior. i usually have a much better time going to kids' shows with kids than i do going places with adults. they are rude, inconsiderate, intolerant of other peeps mistakes, critical to staff, and slobbish to the nth degree.

rudeness is a learned behavior, a habit. as is good manners. i blame my generation - we grew up in the 60s and bought all that new age crap - and now we are reaping what we sowed........

[Jayne]

Crunch crunch crunch....slurp slurp slurp.....Smack it like a pixie

I'm going to see that movie in 5 minutes, I'll let you know what I do.

[LOVWYRM]

Some of you dislike children, some do not want to have children of their own.
Again- I understand.
But where will that lead to?
Look at the demoscopic progress.
A society full of egoistic old people.
And no further generations, no future.
It´s not that I worship mankind that much, and some less humans on this planet
would be much better for this wonderful planet at all.
But this is not my point.
Without children this human society will become even worse.
Children mean love. and responsibility, strong company, teaching and being told,
innocence. new ideas..and so much more. You may add your own ideas here.
It`s typical for our times, that having children is not much of a perspective.

Says someone who decided to have no children at the age of 12, 18, 25, 30.
I had my career, lots of young people to educate- I did not miss anything.
Then my son came into my life. He was 8 years old and wanted me to be his mom. He had some probs (Flame was allone with him, working 14/7 to come around). I took a break from my career (working part time then). We founded a family. I raised a child (e.g. brought him from lowest school level to University) We had very good times and very bad times. Thats normal I guess.
It was never easy. But I do not regret my decision for 1 sec.
He grew up to be a..^^well- I`m a mom^^ I`m proud and I love him^^
I think you`ll like him too^^
Those who do not know about the history of our family, say, he`s like me^^
I`m lucky - he `s always there for me/us when I need him (when my mom died last year, or my beloved cat last week- or only to get us some groceries, cause our car is broken).

I say children are a gift from heaven. I had to learn this.
And I`m very grateful for that.

"rudeness is a learned behavior, a habit. as is good manners. i blame my generation - we grew up in the 60s and bought all that new age crap - and now we are reaping what we sowed....."
I sign that Velveeta!!

[Shur]

ugh... i went to see IronMan about two weeks after it released... and remembered why i never go to the movies... cost eleven freaking dollars for a showing that started at nine PM on a thursday, and practically the only other people in the theatre was a group of 14 year old boys about four seats over from me, and they would not shut up.

Almost got even for it though, kid who brought the credit card (his mother's from the sound of it) left it sitting on the floor, and if he'd taken ten more seconds to realize it i would have relocated it to the dumpster for him.

[pevil2000]

Just on the subject of spanking, I'm in the group that thinks it should be used rarely and for very extreme occasions. I got hit a couple times, as I say I was incredibly well behaved. The ultimate "you've been bad" happened to me only once; my Dad got angry and told me off. That never would happen. Just the fact that he got involved was more than enough to teach me a lesson!

[Frith-Rae]

uh Luvwyrm..totally missed the point of the thread..

Noone here is saying "we hate children" or "get rid of children"...

We're just wishing that people who choose to bring their children to the theater 1-bring them to appropriate movies (course even then, if they want to stay up all week with their kids nightmares cuz they brought them to "Freddie vs. jason" that's their decisoin) but formost..2- if they bring them, the children have good manners and know to keep quiet during a movie..

Not "hate children" - just "children should learn how to behave in public places..."

Big difference...

[pevil2000]

Actually Frith I hate children doesn't mean they're not necessary though! And if they're well behaved, even I don't have a problem with them, I just don't find 'em cute. Ever.

[LOVWYRM]

uh Luvwyrm..totally missed the point of the thread..

I was aware, that I was not quite with the topic, Frith.

I postet my thoughts, cause in other posts I read "Some of you dislike children, some do not want to have children of their own".

It was a heart thing to throw my 2c in^^.

Don`t mean to be inpolite- but you read that too?

And I understand and support your complaints- as I expressly stated.

[Frith-Rae]

that's fine then - just seemed a bit off to me and I didn't want you thinking we're all just a bunch of kid haters (minus Pevil, apparently he is )

[Silverblaze]

I'm realisitic about it. There is always that person, doesnt have to be a child. I can usually get over it. If not, I say something tothe people. Going up front usually gets me to miss out on movie time, but sometimes it has to be done.

I'm not saying i don't agree that similar behavior is wrong. Nor am I saying that it wouldnt annoy me.

I have a seperate rant and its similar.

I'm a kinda short guy. I always manage to get the tallest person in the theatre to sit right in front of me. ( Keep in mind this is more a rant about crappy luck.) I also understand sometimes seating leaves no option, if the theare is packed. Thats not an issue in a town as small as mine though.

I don't expect people to notice they do it all the time, its just an annoyance. I simply move if possible, just saying it sucks.

[Kumu Honua]

I know how you feel Silverblaze. Though on the opposite scale.

I'm the tall guy, and with my sight, I need to sit up close. I'm always hyper sensitive about sitting in front of other people. 6'3" can only crouch down so far in a seat. I try my best though.

[Fratricide]

On the topic of Movie Theaters... I once found this theater that you could attend 18+ only sessions of movies... No children... so if you wanted to go out and really watch a movie.. that option was available to you. Also in this very same theater, they had "Box" seating available... You could purchase up to, if I remember correctly, 8 seats in the private booth. It had its own sound system and everything, so if you really wanted to enjoy the movie you could buy out the whole box and watch it with your most significant others...

Anyway... just thought I'd add my 2cp

[Nambroth]

Laughing Otter-
My mother works one-on-one with special needs children, mostly with Autism, in the elementary school system. She's been doing this nearly her whole life, and I often go in to help her when time allows (the kids get a huge kick out of watching me draw apparently!). Regardless, with the stories she brings home and the times I've been there to help her, I have somewhat of an understanding of what these special needs are. Last weekend, my husband and I went to the last showing of WALL-e at our single local theater. We tend to try and go to a late-in-the-game showing of movies that kids might be at, because we are easily distracted and though tolerant of them generally aren't too fond of most children. There were all but 5 people in the theater, and down in front there was a child and his (mother? Grandmother? Not sure). Several times he would speak up way too loudly about the movie- but nothing constant. Afterward when we walked out my husband kinda shook his head and grumbled about the disrupting kid. I jut grinned and said that he did really, really well and was on top behavior... I could tell the child was special needs and very likely Autistic. He thought about this for a moment and nodded- the situation had then become acceptable. It does put a different light on things.


Lovwyrm-
I respect your sentiment about the community raising a child... that is true. A child is influenced by surroundings as much as parents. I have always treated children with tolerance and given them a warm smile when they catch my eye. But what can one do when someone else's children is displaying unacceptable behavior or is acting out? I don't know how things are elsewhere, but confronting the child here in the US is a risky thing. Society is at a point where everyone seems to be hyper-suspicious or super-defensive of their own set of ideals. Approaching a child to let them (politely!) know that something is wrong is more often than not met with hostility from the parents- and in worst case scenarios if the feel you are threatening in any way (and many people's description of a threat is very open ended...!) you will be met with a police escort. Approaching the parents is not much better... again nearly always I was met with hostility. The mantra of many seems to be "My child can do no wrong", which is disturbing.
I worked in a retail pet situation for 5 years of my life in TX, and it was sad to see what society is today in regards to this. I would say that over half of the children that would come into the store with parents/relatives would be cruel to the animals in some shape or fashion and I would need to ask them to "Please stop, that hurts/bothers ___Animal____". I can't even tell you how many times I was screamed at by parents, or that there would be parents that would simply ignore me as if nothing was happening.

[LOVWYRM]

Nambroth, there is not one single sentence of yours I disagree with.
Vice versa.
*sighs sadly*
But I always try to bring into my mind, that they are not born like this...

[Romirez]

i just feel that society in general, beyond the movie theatre is going on a downward spiral and will soon hit critical mass. what happens at that point...we will never know until it is here. i just hope our society improves before that point.

[Arietna]

I'm in agreement with most people on here.. even the ones who seem to disagree with others :P

I have two small children. I am constantly complimented how well mannered they are (please and thankyou were amongst the first words they both learned).

They are however, only age 2 (nearly 3) and 4. I suspect that when my 4 year old starts school he will learn bad habits from other children. I'll deal with that when it happens (as I am dealing with the tantrums etc and the bad learned behaviour from other kids at nursery!).

I wouldn't DREAM of taking them to the cinema. Certainly not something as dark as Dark Knight (which I think looks great - for me & hubby!). Mind you, there are quite strict age restrictions on films in the UK. *pause while I check the films rating* - 12A - which means no kids under 12 unless accompanied by an adult.

I only let my kids watch "U" (universal, suitable for all - eg Ice Age, Ratatouille) rating and PG (parental guidance - eg the Last Mimsy). Even then I make sure we've seen the PG film BEFORE I let my kids watch it. Some things that are PG rated are not right for my kids.

Having said that, a friend of mine took her daughter (2) to see "Kung Fu Panda" and she sat through the whole film! I'd monitor my kids behaviour for 10 mins, and if they were playing up (even just not sitting still) as I know their concentration span isn't great, I'd take them out of the cinema.

Most *responsible* parents I think would do the same.

and LO, if I ever saw a child "acting up" like your daughter, my first reaction would always be sympathy for the parents if they were doing what they could to "manage" the situation. Even a well mannered child occasionally has a temper tantrum - and you NEVER know the background of a strange child (strange as in not known to you, not as in bizarre!). Always best not to judge people until you know the whole picture.

That said, I'd have probably had a go at the grandmother and told her to get her act together or I'd call an usher.

[Shian]

Wow! Finally got in after thee days of trying!

Always ended up waiting in line and hearing that KKKSSSSSKKK!!! and everyone saying "MAN!" at once and loud groans. Our tiny theatre is made for just the people living here, not the doubling our population with visitors we've had going on. Fortunatly, I got in at a 9:30 showing so no kids! Adults...

Only they're just as bad as kids, IMO. I know they've all been shut in a tiny can for weeks and weeks, but going to see Dark Knight for the first time and
I get this smart guy in the front near my seat that not only talked through the previews... loudly, but had to put in a comment at EVERY point he could get in.

He wasn't sitting far from me though. About a quarter though and a "GET SOME!" addenium from him for whatever was on screen, I finally got up, stood in front of him and asked him if he was going to do this the entire movie as I've already missed most of it because I couldn't hear it, instead kept hearing his loud mouth. Half the theatre clapped so he got up and left muttering about already seeing it a few times.

*headdesk* Yup. My BF wonders why I don't go to movies anymore/hasn't seen whatever. I honestly can't imagine why not.

[pevil2000]

Arietna, totally agree with you 100%. Still it always amazes me just how little most parents care. I mean ok I'm living in Walsall and working in West Bromwich at the moment. Both quite...er... unappealing places. But I used to work in Scarborough, up in Yorkshire, a very nice, tourist seaside town and it was the same there. You'd get a kid come in an dtry to buy GTA. We have to physically take the money from their parents for an 18. "Are you aware this game contains sexual references/violence/drugs and ok with your child playing this?". The response 99% of the time is "meh, they see and hear worse in the playground". I don't know what kinda schools they go to but I never saw anything like that in my playground, and that was only 8 years ago! Besides, that to me just smacks of "Madam are you aware that your son just committed murder?" "Meh, other people have done it".

Ooh or the mother last night when I returned from seeing Wall-E (oddly enough the theatre itself was well behaved!). Kids running round the bus stop, then hanging on the steps of the double decker. Mothers way to control it? "Stop that you f****** little b*****". The only response this got was "Stop being a b****" from her son.

*joins Shian in banging head on the desk*