Blight Legacy -- story

[Wolffang]

Hail, Istaria! I was bored today, as the internet is messing up alot, and I only have a few minutes on the internet! I've been thinking of this idea of it for a while. Despite my other failed attempts at truly writing an honorable manuscript, I'm currently playing around with a few of my ideas. Please bear with me, as I'm going to add a few of my ideas into it.

Of course it's going to have Faffy in it, my favorite monster to get killed by! As someone before me said, though names fail me, Fafnir the Defiler makes ancients run away. This is true! hehehehe.... ]]

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Prologue----

The valleys near the town of Harro echoed with the calls of the blight hounds. The sound, as well as the chilled air, create an unsettling feeling. Along the paths, a few blight hounds patrol, stopping for a moment, smelling the air. Their blighted senses search the area, eyes roving across the land for any sign of a new victim. After sensing nothing, they make their way back towards the blight, where Fafnir was gathering his followers.
Soon, as the rain fell, the blight hounds were howling and barking into the air above them, heads held high. Their open maws flinging their fould breath into the skies. Heads tilted back, muzzles rippled, the roared through the rain. The time was drawing closer.
Unbeatable, feared, and cursed, Fafnir the Defiler led his portion of the pack east, deeper into the blight, throwing up howls as they ran, ravaging and running down anything caught in their wake.
As for the rest of the hounds left behind, they stood guard, running the paths, chasing and devouring and living thing that was detected. Their orders were simple: keep the Gifted Ones at bay, while the Blighted prepared for a great battle, and invasion upon the Gifted, undisturbed withing the blight, gathering and planning, unnoticed.
In the darkness, while the fears of the Gifted slept, the Blight was gathering.
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Sorry, alot of repeating words in that one! Yea, tell me if you like it. I'm still working on the first chapter though, and I hardly ever finish a story. XD Please, critics welcomed! ((though praise is nice too. [lol]))

[awdz]

Excellent imagery! It gives me chills picturing and hearing it in my mind.
Watch out for verb tenses; you bounced between past and present tense.
Keep the story coming, you've whetted my appetite for more!

[Wolffang]

hehehehe thanks awdz! I was only half awake when i wrote that! Maybe i can write as good awake

[Wolffang]

--Sorry, haven't been able to get on this computer for a while, but I got the first chapter up! ~after typing and retyping this, I have finally got it -almost- how I want it. Sorry, it's not perfect~
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Chapter 1.

Spirit Isle, a small island, was inhabited by merely smaller, weaker animals. But even a weak grulet seemed to be a strong opponent for Frao. The human slashed at the enraged grulet, having startled it with a swift draw as it had turned from him.
Blocking as well as he could against the grulet, he raised his sword again and brought it down as best he could, slashing through the air down upon it's back. It shuddered and fell, a cry of defeat escaping its throat as death took it in an icy and relentless grip.
Shuddering once, Frao wiped his sword clean on the grass next to the fresh carcass. As he sheathed it, he felt the cooling touch of a healing spell drifting over him, though it had little effect on his cuts other than fading the pain momentarily.
Behind him a saris, only a head shorter than he, came to a stop on the path. The magic from the healing spell was fading from her clawed hands. A short bow was in her hand, and a case of arrows at her waist, held in place by a leather strap.
Frao sat with a heavy, despaired sigh in the grass in front of the slain grulet. "Is it truly hopeless?" he asked under his breath. His eyes dropped to the shield on his left arm.
The saris walked forward slowly and sat down next to him. She was a beautiful gray color, with bright green eyes that seemed to show and glimmer with every thought that ran through her head.
"It's not hopeless," she said reassuringly. Her eyes shone with a kind light as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Have faith. No one's journey is easy, yet there are many great gif-" She stopped herself. "Many great people." She corrected herself quickly.
Frao looked at her. His face was young and somewhat bruised by the shadows from the trees and his own troubled thoughts and battles. His head was covered in brown hair that clung to his head from the sweat and heat of his fights. "But have any been quite as weak as I? And have they all died one time or another?"
The saris frowned, looking at the ground in front of them. "Perhaps, but I'm sure there are some who have made it, even with more difficulty than you." Her words, though meant for reassurance, her eyes and tone were plagued with worry.
"Leaha?" Frao asked the saris' name. "What if I cannot become strong?" He plucked a blade of grass from the ground next to his leg, stringing it and twisting it around his worn fingers until finally breaking it in half and pulling up another piece from the soft earth.
The saris looked at his hands as he tore the second blade. "I have no doubt," she said, her eyes glittering warmly and smiling, "you will be strong."
Frao smiled as his friend tried to comfort him, but the smile did not reach his eyes. After a moment, he got up, cutting a few bristles from the corpse as proof of his deed. He turned silently and walked back up the hill.
Leaha got up and looked after him sadly, her cat-like tail swaying behind her. Her eyes shone with worry as he disappeared from view.
As Frao handed the bristles to the trainer, he kept his eyes on teh marble floor beneath his boots.
Smiling, the trainer accepred the bristles. Upon placing them in a pack, he gave Frao another quest, hesitating, and frowning with worry as Frao turned and strode back down the hill.

[awdz]

Thank you so much for posting again! :-) You continue with the excellent imagery. I really like the details and mannerisms you put in, like Frao's playing with the blade of grass; the characters and situations feel real because of them. I did think of a few minor things for constructive criticism, take it or leave it as you like. Me as grammar nazi: it's = it is; its = possessive form. Indenting paragraphs with a few spaces would make it easier for me to read; a quick spell check might catch a couple of typos. What was it that made the trainer hesitate in the last sentence?

You caught me with Leaha's stopping to say "Many great people" instead of "Many great gifted" - it suggests an interesting dynamic that I hope you flesh out more. Most of all, I'd like to know when we get to read Chapter 2?

[Wolffang]

Thanks Awdz! Criticism is always welcome, because I'm always making mistakes! It's and its, I'm always doing that, but I'll be sure and keep an eye out. I've been making three spaces as an indension, but it doesn't show, so i'm going to start skipping lines. It is hard for me to read as well.

Also, chapter 2 will be out very shortly. I may even finish it within the next hour!

[Wolffang]

ok, came faster than I thought! This time instead of trying to indent i'm going to skip lines. See if it helps~
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Chapter 2

Sighing, Frao looked at the path beneath his sore feet. The two were walking down the hill past an array of grass and a few simple weeds, seeming to quarrel over the little of the light that made it to the ground as it came through the trees.

"Leaha, why am I here?" he sighed, sounding somewhat defeated. "Why do I bother to speak to these trainers that I know I'll never succeed?" He gestured with his thumb back up the hill towards the trainers posted there. His face was grim, taking a kind of discomforted look to his features. "This is pointless," he continued after a moment. His voice faded with a sad tone at the end.

Leaha walked silent for many moments before breathing a faint answer. "You are here because you were called. By what, I don't know, but for some purpose." She looks at the land ahead of them, eyes focusing on nothing in particular. Her jewel-likie eyes glance sorrowfully at her friend after a minute.

As they reached the spider hatchlings, Leaha stood back on the road. She drew her bow and an arrow, holding them at the ready. Frao looked at her in question, and she beckoned her hand towards a nearby hatchling. "Take it. I'll help if I am needed."

Frao nodded and then drew his sword, taking a fighting stance. Shield ready to intercept any attacks, blade poised to strike, he stepped forward.

As the spider hatchling drew nearer, he brought his sword down sharply, catching it off guard.

Proving its body to be for swift dodging and attacking, it skittered on the ground, in and out of Frao's reach.

After a moment or two of the fight, Frao stumbled. An arrow struck the spider through its red body, pinning it to the ground as its legs curled in a death pose.

"Thanks," Frao said, sitting breathlessly on the grass. He panted heavily for a minute before getting to his feet to face another. His stance seemed determined.

Leaha frowned with worry, but stood back. She drew another arrow from the case, if she was needed again.

Frao struck a spider down after a few hits and misses, blocking as best he could. The spider was not as swift a dodger as the last, but still a worth opponent, taking more blows each time. Soon it fell on its belly, legs curling as it gave the hiss and a last deathly rattle.

Smiling, Leaha cast another healing spell to sooth him, though it still had hardly any affect on the human. She stepped forward, holding out a hand. "May I try?" she asked, motioning to the sword in Frao's right hand. It was handed over promptly, not without a nod of relief on Frao's part.

Frao nodded, going back to sit on the path and to watch as the saris strode over to a large hatchling.

The swift, gray saris stepped back as the spider lunged for an attack, and jumping nimbly to the right as needed to escape, swinging from the right towards its legs in an attack that it could barely get away from.

Taking the full hit, the spider dodged slower and soon it was barely alive enough to bite. Curling slowly, it screeched a short note.

Handing the sword back to him as she returned, Leaha motioned to another spider. “Try what I showed you.�

After a moment of confusion, Frao took the sword and faced the spider. His first step back failed as a dodge, but his sword hit it, though only barely. Frao tried dodging again, longer as the spider came in to attack.

Feeling another faint breeze wash over him, he struck it down, the point of the sword pinning it to the ground by its abdomen.

As the feeling of success took him, he smiled, drawing his sword from it. He wiped it clean on the grass and stepped back, but hissed in pain as a twinge of pain shot through his ankle.

“Are you ok?� Leaha asked, helping him sit.

Frao nodded.

The saris frowned, laying her bow on the ground and then squatting beside his hurting ankle. After a moment of concentration she rubbed a glowing hand over it.

Frao smiled and seemed to relax as the healing spell soothed it. “Thanks.�

“No problem.� The gray saris stood, taking her bow in one hand. She turned and started back towards the trainers, up the hill. Frao stood and limped after her, grimacing slightly.


---
The trainer at the top of the hill turned to Stormbringer. “Do you really think he will last?�

Stormbringer nodded, but the motion was slow and after a pause. His face was worried though. He turned his head to watch the human and saris return. “For a non-gifted, he is strong, and also brave. But still, I worry for his safety.�
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OK, that concludes Chapter 2. anyways, please feel free to look for mistakes! XD I'm planning to be a writer, and need to work on better descriptions and such. Including using a few words repeatedly.... :~ Bear with me, hehehehehe

---Daemonar SharpFang, Order

[Wolffang]

((ack, sorry for the triple post. #6 post, mine. Criticism isn't the best word... :~ *needs a dictionary* My writings need alot of spell-check and such, especially when writing by hand. I consider it more of help))