Greeting People

[Delite]

I'm not sure if this is caused by age generation differences, but I find it extremely rude that when I greet another player by name, the player cannot be bothered to return my greeting.

Greetings like heyas, hi all, and hi guys, just doesn't cut it for me.

If my worst enemy greeted me with "hello Dee", I would certainly reply, "hey there <playername>".

In the future, I will not be greeting many players on Istaria. Why should I bother when they cannot take a second to respond to a polite greeting?

[LungTien Temeraire]

Players may be afk or busy like when they fight in strong mobs' areas. On another hand, some explanations have been given there.

http://community.istaria.com/forum/s...t=22905&page=2

We can't force them to change, but it is still sad to see some players, returning, new,... growing annoyed when it occurs, and then both side grow annoyed, older and new players alike, and then both grow rude, until both side leave the game and don't come back... I always greet, myself, when I meet someone in game, or when I join a channel, unless I am not on the computer, or very busy.

[LungTien Temeraire]

It tends to happen, sort of, like that (not pointing at anyone there, just giving random examples of what happens).
(Dragon Channel) -Player A- Hello there
(Dragon Channel) -Player B- *silent
(Dragon Channel) -Player A- *gets annoyed, not understanding nor knowing why he hasn't been greeted back and talks less and less softly
(Dragon Channel) -Player B- *gets annoyed, not understanding why Player A's grows rude through posts and gets more and more rude too

At the end, Player A or Player B, or both of them, , is (are) upset and leave(s) the game definitely. While both side have their own reasons for greeting or not, lack of understanding, explanations between both sides, has already brought players grow annoyed on the matter, in the past (myself included, which is why I posted the thread linked above), and it is still doing so... and then, some players leave... Losing players due to such mistakes is regrettable, I think,and we should try and find a solution.

[awdz]

When I am polite and the other is not, I generally assume it is a problem on their end, not anything directed at me. Turns out this is nearly always the case when later I find out the truth. And even if they bear a grudge against me, how is my being less polite going to help the situation?

It is not a nice feeling, to be ignored. Sadly, not everyone is as thoughtful as Delite in replying timely by name to all who greet them... I'm sure I'm not very good about it, usually because I'm a ditz who gets distracted readily. My apologies to any who feel slighted by me and a plea to everyone for more patience with idiocy such as mine in the future.

[Hellenia]

i well reply back if i see it . i dont allways see the glowing tabs or i may be in a nother tabe and not see it. if i do see it i some times wisper back in greetings . its hard to see every ting thats going on in chat when there soooo many chats rooms i got 2 chat boxes going and the more than 1o chat tab mod. or i may be in nt parking it and zooning out. "about to fall asleep"
i do know what your taking about i do say hellos to others and some times i dont get one back but i know thay might not be in the same caht tab as i talked to them in or if a new players thay kina still learing how to do stuff and typ and all the allsome stuff this game comes with

[Darkwing_Duck]

Sorry to hear what you`re going though Delite, I always make sure to reply to tells, and greetings. if I missed yours I`m sorry, I may have been afk or busy.
Sometimes when I`m engrossed in an RP I tend to miss greetings, or the greeting may have gotten lost in all the text. so if I ever missed any of your greetings I`m greatly sorry.
:hugs:
I myself have had a few misunderstandings thinking I was being ignored, later to find out the other player was AFK. XD

[Raptress]

Whenever I'm in a situation where, outwardly, it looks like the other player is ignoring me, I always first assume that the other player is AFK, busy, wasn't looking at their chat tab, or somehow otherwise did not see the message. It is very rare that people are purposefully ignored here, on Istaria. There is almost always some explanation other than "the player is just really rude."

I generally take this "rule" with me whatever game I go to. Games are distractions by their very nature, and text is easily missed. It isn't like real life.

[LungTien Temeraire]

Whenever I'm in a situation where, outwardly, it looks like the other player is ignoring me, I always first assume that the other player is AFK, busy, wasn't looking at their chat tab, or somehow otherwise did not see the message. It is very rare that people are purposefully ignored here, on Istaria. There is almost always some explanation other than "the player is just really rude."

I generally take this "rule" with me whatever game I go to. Games are distractions by their very nature, and text is easily missed. It isn't like real life.

Sure, but when some are here, not afk, not busy nor looking on other chats or things, ..., they have their reasons, like those explained in the thread I linked. The issue is that players might not know these reasons, and feel unpleased, even if it isn't the other players' intent.

[Marynah]

Perhaps "don't take it personally" and remember "other people have off days, too" are worth throwing on the table.

[Akrion]

I personally feel that expecting a response, and not just a response but a specific response, from someone you don't know the status of is just as bad as someone intentionally not responding to you. You're essentially calling everybody that didn't see your message rude because they didn't respond, and everybody that doesn't reply to your message in quite the way you want them to rude because they didn't make their response good enough for you. Both cases of which are, in of themselves, rude.

[Delite]

What I am saying is that I'm already in chat and greet a player who enters and say hello so and so. They say heyas, hi guys, hello, hi all and can't be bothered to reply to all those who are greeting them.

I am not talking about a player already existing in a chat when I enter it, and I am also not talking about someone who is AFK.

[LungTien Temeraire]

I personally feel that expecting a response, and not just a response but a specific response, from someone you don't know the status of is just as bad as someone intentionally not responding to you. You're essentially calling everybody that didn't see your message rude because they didn't respond, and everybody that doesn't reply to your message in quite the way you want them to rude because they didn't make their response good enough for you. Both cases of which are, in of themselves, rude.

The problem isn't about people being afk or busy, or not watching a channel or another, as I said.

The problem here is that a player who doesn't know another may not know why this one doesn't greet back, and may think this one is ignoring them, while this isn't this one's intent. I think the real issue is not the matter of not greeting, but the fact to not know why.

As I said, it happened, and is still happening, making players grow upset and even leave, which is regrettable.

I'd think it would be best, when you see a player you don't know greeting in channels, would be, at least, to tell him why you just greet your known friends, and to not risk letting them take it wrong and feel ignored, because they don't know your reasons.

Players who don't know you or your reasons may have no clue about why you don't reply to them, so in my opinion, it would be better to just let them know, in a way or another, you aren't ignoring them

Until then, new, returning,... players will keep thinking they are ignored, even if it isn't your intent, like I felt before to post "about the community's warmth".

Again, I know, now, your opinions about it and I respect it, but the true issue is about those who don't know them yet.

I just want to add that, recently, I greeted a person in /tell, which replied that she (the person) doesn't know me, and she thinks that is is a bit odd to greet those ones doesn't know. I respect this opinion, and the fact that the person let me know why she doesn't greet those she doesn't know. Like that, a player learns the reason, doesn't take it wrong, and doesn't feel ignored.

[Akrion]

What I am saying is that I'm already in chat and greet a player who enters and say hello so and so. They say heyas, hi guys, hello, hi all and can't be bothered to reply to all those who are greeting them.

I am not talking about a player already existing in a chat when I enter it, and I am also not talking about someone who is AFK.

So if a player encounters a scenario like this..
*Player joins channel with ~40 people in it. 30 of these 40 say something along the lines of "Hey, Player"*

They should then be expected to respond with something like this..?
[Player] Hello, Person 1. Hello, Person 2. Hello, Person 3. Hello, Person 4. Hello, Person 5.*continues until the player individually addresses all 30 of the people that addressed them*

That's a bit much for anybody to expect from someone. I can already hear a response to this. "Well a situation like that is a bit extreme, usually it's just a couple people saying hello to a newcomer, in which case they should address them back." That could lead to a scenario of someone directly addressing a few people back before a bunch of others join in, as is often the case.

A few people saying 'hello' to someone often spurs everybody else to say hello. Well now the player must choose between the initial situation of greeting everybody individually. Or greeting a few individually, and the rest as a whole as they say hello later. So now they must either spend a fair bit of time typing out individual responses, or be considered specifically rude to those they didn't personally respond to.

Honestly, it's asking and expecting way too much of other people. What if they can't type very fast? Should they spend half an hour individually responding to people, most of which they probably are only acquaintance of, lest they be deemed as rude? Where's the line? I type at roughly 110wpm and assuming 'Hello, ' + an average of an 8 character long name, that would still take me roughly a minute and a half of straight uninterrupted typing to individually respond to 30 people saying 'hello' to me, and that's not considering I'd likely have to stop and double check each person's name unless I knew them all off the top of my head. In reality it would probably be somewhere around 3 to 4 minutes of doing nothing but greeting people back.

[LungTien Temeraire]

I think it is shorter, easier to just say something like "hello" or "hello everyone" when we join a channel, and reply a back greeting when another one joins the channel and greets the same way, after. I consider a "hello" is directed at everybody in a channel, myself, and my own greetings are also directed at everyone when I join a channel.

Ones may take it wrong if he/she says "hello" when joining a channel, as well as in local channel (in /say range), and not getting replies from some players currently talking in the same channel, or seeing some greet a specific other with which they are friends, and not getting answers themselves, when they don't know the concerned persons' reasons and opinions on the matter.

Before to post my first thread about this matter, I had met a person in game, to which I said "hello" in main channel, but the person stayed silent and went in a building. Then, I tried to follow and greet again, thinking the person hadn't seen, but the person left the area without a word, and I had been left without knowing the reasons of this silence, and taking it the wrong way.

Another time, but still before I posted my first thread about that, I was talking with someone I will call Player B there, in main channel again. Then, a third one I'll call Player C came in range:

Me: hello
Player B: hello there
Player C: hello Player B

Then, Player B and Player C talked a bit, before Player C left, not having let me know I wasn't ignored, not explaining the why. It seemed Player B and Player C were friends, but I took that the wrong way, not knowing, again,
the reason of why Player C was greeting only known friends.

I am not pointing at anyone there, just expressing what happened to me in the past, and how ones may feel in this situation.

[Tcei]

I generally use the generic hello/hi when Im greeted in a channel. If its by a person I know pretty well and am friends with I will sometimes use their name.

I will admit I am completely baffled by the thought that just hello/hi/what have you, is considered rude because you didnt greet with a name back. Even in real life I dont worry or even think about it. If I meet up with a group of friends I've always just said Hey guys or something similar regardless of if some/all/none greet me with my name.

[Darkwing_Duck]

ah I see. I usualy just go like "Hiyas all" or "hey all" when I join a chat channel and when I get like 10 responces I just say something to adress them all at once. much easier then addressing each player individualy. like "ty everyone' or something
or a simple smiley like "" It`s not being rude, it`s simply addressing all players in one simply reply

[Blue Hasia]

Thats why I greet when i log in With "MOO" or *pounce n slurps all*

[Frith-Rae]

lol Blue - I always go "HELLO ME DROOGIES!"

But yea, you really shouldn't expect, if its in a group chat, that just because you say the player's name they are going to reply back to just you specifically. There are many reasons for this, as others have said, and only one is actually rude (the ignoring one).

Perhaps they honestly didnt' see it while they were typing to someone else in another chat. Or they didn't see your specific Hello while they were typing "Hey guys" back (not everyone touch types while reading lol). Or they generally didn't know (I would not) that you greeting people by name means you're expecting that by name greeting back. I've never heard of such expectation in real life or in a game - and I'm no fresh flower myself.

Now if *I* log into a chat room and one person says hey to me, I may say "Hiya XYZ" back specifically. But if I'm getting 4, 5, or 6 responses sorry, I probably won't take the time to greet everyone by name.

As another pointed out, just like if I walked into a group of 3-4 friends standing around, if three says "hey!" and one said "HEY XYZ!" I wouldn't go "Hey All and Hey ABC".

I mean if you look at it, the people you didn't greet by name may then feel like you consider them "less of a friend" because you greeted Bob by name and lumped all them together.

This comment strikes me as someone new to the online-universe of everywhere (I apologize if not), so realize that when you enter a new environment there may be standing norms you are not familiar with. Its up to you wether you want to open your mind or not, but don't auto-assume people mean to be rude or negative to you on purpose. That is a sad way to be (sad as in I'd be sad all the time if I thought that).

[Dragonboy]

Thats why I greet when i log in With "MOO" or *pounce n slurps all*

yeah I still haven't gotten my scales dry from our last encounter...

Anyway it all depends on my mood how or if I respond to anyone.
Sometimes I enter the channel saying “Hiya all” and other times I just enter and sit in a quiet corner in the back not interested in talking. I don’t expect nor require a Hiya Rv (or whatever alt I play on) to have fun playing, but that is just me I guess.
When people enter the channel and type a greeting like Hello all or whatever it also depends on my mood if I respond or not, but when I respond I mostly tend to do it with player name.

I respect the opinions of certain people that they feel ignored sometimes, but I gladly don’t have that feeling. The only time when I feel ignored is when I ask to buy something in Marketplace… I sometimes think I would get a quicker response if I created a 10 seconds shouting “WTB blablabla PST to (character name)” macro and dumped myself in Bristugo and perhaps an alt in Aughundell.

[LungTien Temeraire]

yeah I still haven't gotten my scales dry from our last encounter...

Anyway it all depends on my mood how or if I respond to anyone.
Sometimes I enter the channel saying “Hiya all” and other times I just enter and sit in a quiet corner in the back not interested in talking. I don’t expect nor require a Hiya Rv (or whatever alt I play on) to have fun playing, but that is just me I guess.
When people enter the channel and type a greeting like Hello all or whatever it also depends on my mood if I respond or not, but when I respond I mostly tend to do it with player name.

I respect the opinions of certain people that they feel ignored sometimes, but I gladly don’t have that feeling. The only time when I feel ignored is when I ask to buy something in Marketplace… I sometimes think I would get a quicker response if I created a 10 seconds shouting “WTB blablabla PST to (character name)” macro and dumped myself in Bristugo and perhaps an alt in Aughundell.

I don't have it anymore since I saw the reasons, but the issue is that some, like new players, may not know until they are told.