That Darn Cat!
Delish walks into the Tavern at Mia's Edge and orders a Dwarven Ale. As she turns around to find a table, she spots Delectable nursing a large Dwarven Ale. When Delish walks over to the table she notices that Delectable has a very large bruise on her neck.
Delish says, "Hey there Dee. You better be careful drinking that Dwarven Ale! It's not made to be consumed by a lil bitty dryad like you. How in the world did you get that ugly bruise on your neck?"
Delectable replies, "Oh {hic} hey there Dee, pull up a sheet uhm seat. That darn cat! I'mma gonna kilt er kill her!! Firsh, she demotes me from enchanter, then she wans me to make more of dem Candied Apppples. I come home wid a loada apples and bang there's dis rope in the guildhoush. I dinna even seesh it, but it sure saw meh! Then my head was jussss ...well it felt ... wasa gonna pop righ off."
"Oh you poor lil thing." Delish turns to the Tavernkeeper and yells, "Hey you get a pot of coffee on stat! Then grab some aspirin and a wet cloth and get over here!"
The Tavernkeeper arrives at the table with a huge cup of coffee, the aspirin, a glass of water, and the wet cloth. He says, "Oh please don't be mad at me, Miss Dee. Didn't you get my tell? I did try to talk her out of the Dwarven Ale. I kept suggesting that she get the Gnomian Beer but she kept refusing, and she was in such a sad shape. She wouldn't hear of taking aspirin either."
Whispers, "Ok keep here's what we're going to do. You take away her ale while I get her started on the coffee. You better take my ale too so she doesn't latch onto mine."
"Oh Dee, please take the aspirin. You'll feel so much better. Here take a sip of the coffee with the aspirin. There you go. Boy, I sure do know what you mean about that darn cat! I was lucky enough to spot that rope in the guildhouse, but when i turned to duck underneath the dang thing, I got whipped in the face by the leaves. She has way too many dang trees around here, that's for sure!"
The Tavernkeeper emits a bitten-off chuckle. Delish turns on him and yells, "Just what in the world is so funny about getting slapped in the face by leaves?"
"Oh no, Miss Dee, it's not that. I wasn't laughing at you, I swear it! Uhmmmm, errrrr, I really shouldn't tell you this. It could mean my job. Do you promise not to tell anyone else?"
"Sure, keep. For goodness sakes, let's hear it."
"Well I was tending bar earlier today when I heard a bunch of grumbling from that darn cat. I went next door to the dwarven house and peeked through the window. Delicat had gotten herself stuck inside the vault. By the way the Vaultkeeper is ready to quit what with ropes in front and ropes behind her. Any how, Delicat must have spent 5 minutes trying to get out of the vault and grumbling the whole time. I think she even logged off and came back. She was still stuck and starting to cuss to high heaven. I think she finally got smart and recalled to the guildhouse to get out of there."
"Oh no...don't make me laugh, I might choke! My throat hurts too much to laugh....Ah!" Delish replies, "That's ok Dee, you'll be alright and just think - that darn cat got a taste of her own medicine!"
