Just a few thoughts after reading your concerns.
You are trying to play Shaman as main, where it is best suited as a support class. I'm not saying you should not play Shaman, just realize at low levels without the other skills that strengthen Shaman, it will be tough to play at first (Shaman is considered a prestige class, they are best leveled after the required shools to join are leveled up pretty far, or even finished to 100, and are not really meant to be played as the first school you level). Shaman can use all the nature/druid spells and gets skill for these. Nature spells is your best bet for Shaman. Pick up thunder cloud I in sslanis, this will be one of your keys to surviving fights. Where are you spending training points? You have multiclassed all over the place, so they may be half-hazard. I recommend maxing out nature skill, split rest between evasion and power (assuming you plan to continue playing Shaman primarily for now). Remember, you can always shift training points around later on, do not worry about "spending them wrong". (To find the training points window, click the blue gem - training.) Maxing out nature skill makes nature spells more accurate, hit harder, and allows you to use the newer spells sooner, as they all have both a level requirement as well as a skill requirement.
Mutliclassing at very low levels is difficult. You two should definitely stay grouped together. One playing as a tanky-damage class, other in support should work pretty well. Shaman and a warrior or cleric for example.
Shaman can also use spirit spells, but does not learn this skill with shaman levels. To strengthen your shaman, you will want to eventually level spiritist to 100. Spirit spells plus nature spells becomes a very powerful configuration of stuns/damage/lifetaps, useable in many classes such as ranger, cleric, healer, paladin, shaman, spiritist, druid, guardian, reaver and more.. each school having their own benefits.
In regards to the gear, you may want to consider leveling a craft school up very high, as cloth and padded cloth are wearable by craft schools. If you had say level 100 blacksmith, you could be wearing t5 padded cloth gear, triple teched, in a level 1 adventure school. You would also be able to wear t5 health jewelry, triple t5 teched. Padded cloth with t5 techs is better than low level plate and chain, and is only exceeded at t4, example t5 padded ironsilk chest is 76 armor, plus armor 5 tech (20) so its 96 armor, and you could wear this as level 1 warrior or shaman. t3 steel plate chest is 80 armor, plus armor 3 tech (12) for 92 total armor, and you would have to be level 51, in the right school, and have enough armor use to wear this. The t5 piece can also have 2 more t5 techs. And if you can't hunt the t5 tech comps, use tier 3 techs for the first set instead. Triple t3 techs is still pretty nice really, and the comps are much easier to get. With that set you could work your way to the t5 teched sets. Don't forget t5 health jewelry, also triple teched, would be wearable in the low level adventure school, as long as the craft school is lvl 100.
The above might seem to point out the chicken and egg, but really its chicken OR egg. Pick 1, either a craft or an adventure school, and finish it to 100, then you can do the remaining much quicker. My above example shows how a high craft helps adventure. The reverse is also true. Once you have adventure to 100, you can triple t5 tech out some armor to use for leveling craft (not cargo gear, but say chainmail or padded ironsilk) t5 gear with triple t5 craft techs, plus the stats from your adventure levels (high strength, power, dex, focus will buff all craft skills), means you will start out a craft school already optimal on all t1 items, even likely some t2 items. So you will have a very fast jumpstart to leveling the craft school. Could likely get 20 levels in a day. And really, having 1 high level adventure school first is probably easiest. It does mean you will need help with gear for the first school. This is where the community comes in. Depending on what you hunt, there is even a chance that a decent piece of blighted gear could drop, and get you by for some levels.
It is probably best to do 1 adventure school to 100 first, as the t5 padded ironsilk does have an armor use requirement. This is why cleric is often suggested as a players first school. It opens up all these other possibilities since you are learning armor use skill, gaining health, and other stats, augmentation skill (so your other schools can use buffs on themselves), life skill so your other schools can cast the revitalize line of heals. Cleric also masters dispirit and area dispirit, which are good debuffs on the mobs, when playing in any school.