ARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

My bank debit card got eaten by a cash machine a little over a week ago. For some reason, the cash machine decided to reboot itself when I asked for money (there was loads in there, I've just been paid). It rebooted into "not in service" and kept my card.

I got on to the bank 40 minutes later, cancelled the card, and got them to issue me a new one. PIN code arrived 3 days later, and today the replacement card arrived. Great. I sign it, and get on to the telephone number to activate it. Can't activate due to "no security questions"?? They put me through to "customer services", who after a 20 minute queue, cut me off. I phone again. Get through (after another 10 minutes) to a customer service advisor who assures me he has now activated my card. OK, I think, that's nice and straightforward. I'll now link my card to my PayPal account, and my BigFishGames account as they are the only ones linked to that card.

Both refuse it, saying the bank has declined it. Frustrated, I put the details in to PayPal another 5 or 6 times, checking details thoroughly every time. I phone the bank again. Clearly they haven't activated it. They assure me they have, and they haven't declined anything at all since the card was activated. Oddly, however, they find 5 or 6 transactions (apparently timed about 2 o'clock this afternoon, before I even GOT the card) all for £1 (the standard paypal activation amount) which they refused. No reason given. I try again, while they're on the phone, to prove that it clearly is the paypal account requesting it, and that they are definitely refusing it. NO transactions arrive to be authorised/declined while I'm on the phone. BY the way, including waiting on the phone system trying to get to speak to someone (and it directing me to a new system, and a phone PIN that doesn't work any more), I've been on the phone nearly 2 hours. My 3 year old and 4 year old are running riot in the front room.

NO, they say, everything is fine, we're not refusing anything. They guarantee my card will work in a cash machine (like that is going to help me buy anything online!!).

I get on to PayPal. The american-accented girl says that my bank is refusing the card. The bank say they're not. OH, and PayPal have cancelled my Horizons subs (coinciding with me trying to put new card details in - coincidence, I think not). PayPal blame Virtrium for this. I;m sorry, HELLO!!! Virtrium had six months x 2 subs earlier in September, there's no payment due for another 5 months, I don't think it's them. It's clearly PayPal. "no" says the girl, Paypal don't cancel subscriptions, they get no access for that. I suspect it's because I tried to add a new "default" card, so cancelled the old one and it cancelled anything linked to that.

SO, currently I have a new bank card. Can't use it online. MIGHT be able to use it in a cash machine, but i haven't tried that as I can't leave the **** house while my husband is still at work and my kids are awake. Chances are if it's refused by the cash point, the bank will be closed when I get back home to give them an earful again. I've already been a week without access to my account, which is pretty well off as I got paid a day after my card got eaten. All my bank do? Offer to cancel the new card and issue another one. NOOOO don't do this to me!!!

ARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

All I can do is try the card *again* tomorrow presumably when PayPal's info MIGHT match up to the bank's info.

If it doesn't work, I'm switching banks. Alliance & Leicester USED to be quite good but after 2 hours on the phone (NOT a freephone number) and telephone systems cutting me off (3 times) I am not a fan. I'll go to First Direct I think, they at least have people answering the phone (I do have an account with them for most bill paying).

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE BANKS!