Enjoy!
Olympic relay Champion Darren is given a box of brand new Olympic condoms upon leaving Athens. Once he's home, he tells his girlfriend about his haul of hubbers.
"Olympic condoms?" she blurts. "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colours," Darren replies. "Gold, silver and bronze."
"What colour are you going to try tonight?" she asks.
"Gold, of course," he replies.
"Why don't you wear silver?" says his girlfriend. "It would be nice if you came second for a change."
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Late one night a mugger jumps Gordon Brown on his way back to 11 Downing Street. "Give me your money," the mugger demands.
Indignant, the Chancellor of the Exchequer replies, "You can't do this - I'm Gordon Brown!"
"In that case," replies the robber, "give me My money..."
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A woman and her husband are woken up early one rainy morning by a pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where the stranger is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it's three o'clock in the morning." He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked the wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, it's three in the morning and pouring outside."
"Well, you have a short memory," says the wife. "Don't you remember about three months ago when our car broke down in the rain and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him."
The man does as he's told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out in the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" he calls out.
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here, on the swing," says the voice.
---------- And the best one in my opinion ----------
Several cowboys are out on the range talking about sex. One of the cowboys says, "I think I like the rodeo position best." "I don't think I've heard of that one," says another. "What is it?"...
"You get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each of her breasts and you whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like your sister's.' Then you try to hold on for eight seconds."
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Enjoy! Hope others are having a better day than me! Work sucks! [:P]
Spirit, Unity
Originally Posted by Tzael
