Wow I really hope things turn out better for you Fix.
Pretty much I echo what others have posted here already..
If it's even remotely still in your mind about Offing yourself, please for the love of god don't ever take that route. My nephew committed suicide back in...let's see. January of '07. He was a senior in high school, and while he wasn't bullied, his girlfriend did break up with him. Yes that's a silly reason to off yourself however he always fell for girls hard.
He jumped off an overpass.
He survived yes, miraculously only because he was in shape and young, however a fall from 50ft 80% of people will die. He didn't, got put in the hospital with a shattered pelvis, broken arms, concussion, and a severed horse-shoe kidney (a joined pair of kidneys). He ended up dying at 9:15pm when we all though he was going to pull through.
I never got the chance to mourn properly as I was making myself be 'the strong one' for everyone else who needed to grieve harder than me. His death has hurt me in such a massive way and I vowed to always steer people away from the thoughts of suicide because of how much it scars the people around them. I once almost committed suicide back in sophmore high school as well, I changed my mind at the last second and I'm eternally glad I never went through with it. I haven't healed from my nephew's suicide and I don't think I ever will.
Point I'm making here, is he was going through serious emotional trauma, and didn't talk to anyone. He knew we all loved him, hell I'd drive across the country to go get him to bring him home safe if he needed it. I Just Wish He'd Talked To Someone.
You are talking to someone, us, anyone who will help you and THAT is one of the more precious actions you could do at this point.
Please don't give in to this bullying and harassment. Please keep talking to someone about this so it doesn't mess you up and make you do something you'll regret.
Personally if I was there I'd protect you in an instant. I was bullied and had some horrible things happen to me in high school even, from that however I forced myself to bulk up and not take sh*t from anyone as that seemed to be the only way to protect myself.
However I don't advise under any circumstances to fight them, or retaliate physically, not only because I'm worried for you and your well-being, but also for legal repercussions. If you strike first they can nail you FIRST with a lawsuit. If they land a hand on you, like others have said previously, WRITE IT DOWN!. Write down the Date, Place, Person, and Location of marks, and action against you, as well as pictures if there are visible marks. You can log that away and then turn it into the police and put those losers away for a good long while depending on the severity of their actions.
Until then, stay passive, tell them politely to please stop. Always remain calm and act unaffected. If they see you getting angry or reacting to their jeering and harassment, THEY WILL CONTINUE. It's a form of physical trolling if-you-will.
If you act unaffected, even if you're biting through your tongue to keep back a retort, after a time they'll grow bored with you seeing as you're not reacting. Hopefully with that they'll just leave you alone.
In the meantime as well, consult your teacher, and if you have to bring an appearance of outrage that s/he cannot properly control his/her class and how everyone is expected to ACT LIKE AN ADULT. If s/he doens't do anything, goto the dean and tell him/her you're doing so so the threat of the higher authority will be hearing about their lack of action to protect you. And if the Dean doesn't do anything, goto the police.
If you can tell your parents as well, look up different resources like the one already provided about how to combat bullying in a PROPER manner. Non-violence is a big one here. Don't retaliate physically unless your life is LITERALLY at risk from what their doing. I doubt they'll go that far, however just be wary at all times, but pretend to be bored with them, unaffected and nonchalant. However be sure not to be arrogant about it. Just ignore them like you can't hear them or they're just noise in the background. Don't even look at them if you can when they're doing their harassing actions, etc.
Don't let them get a rise out of you at all or they'll just continue. And be prepared for them to be trying to harass you in various many ways. They're testing you and testing how far and where they can push and poke your buttons to piss you off.
This advice is coming from me, the one with the very short temper, low tolerance for bullsh*t, and the one who would normally react first with a physical action rather than words if I really let loose my restraint. Like I said, if I was there I'd be protecting you instantly, and I'd make those punks pick on someone their own size for a change and see how wrong they are to pick on someone younger/smaller than them.
But as it stands I can't be there physically so I have to give you as best of advice as I can.
Please keep talking to us about this, let us know how things work out or along as I'm concerned for your well-being and that you're okay in the end.
If you want to you can contact me on MSN:
[email protected]
I'm usually online (even if I appear offline I'm still there just send me a message). And I will take all the time you need to help you through this.
I hope things turn out okay for you Fixy.
But please speak up about this to a higher authority: teacher, dean, police, etc.
And remember this quote: "Speak your mind even if your voice shakes."
You can do it!