"And in the belly of this story
the rituals and the ceremony
are still growing." (1)
Exhaustion and lack of resolve prevented Maekrux from going hunting. Even after the small offering the hatchling had brought him, he had been unable to move far and what little dragon left in this dying wurm had remained where it was, slowly dying. He could not lift his head proudly anymore, if he felt he had any pride left. It rested against the thin paws of the wurm-kin, the muscles of the dragon cannibalized in his body’s last-ditch effort to save itself. It was close, his time was close, and Maekrux could feel it. He welcomed it. He could do no more, for his heart was broken.
The hatchling, Vhazshyn, came upon the stoically dying beast, jammed into the rocks. It hid most of his form, the frail head and flaps of scale hiding the emaciated paws beneath them. His face sagged somewhat, and he no longer looked like the Maekrux that Vhazshyn had come to know, when he had agreed to look over this hatchling as her a’mea slept. Vhazshyn stopped and looked up at the blue ensconced dragon nestled in the rocks, blinking. “Who are you?” He gave no reply at first, so she continued, “It's a funny place to rest...”
“Mm...” Maekrux said, coming to life, for the moment, “It is where I have chosen to rest.”
Vhazshyn grins. "Obviously." Maekrux coughed weakly, his head resting heavily on his paws, causing her grin to fade. She tilted her head, at the cough. “Are you alright?”
“Mm... I.. Ieo am fine…” Maekrux said.
Vhazshyn frowned a bit. “It seems to me that when it's said like that it's probably not true.”
Maekrux looked about himself with tired eyes, a small smirk teasing across his thin lips. “Mm. no, I look fine. Fine, like a fine thread, minute and slender.” Vhazshyn rumbled in agreement. “Why are you here, Vhazshyn?”
Vhazshyn raised an eyeridge. "You know me?"
“I considered you as a daughter, for my love for your mother. But those days are dying. Dying,” Maekrux moaned the last word.
Vhazshyn moved to get a closer look, peering up at the dragon. After a moment, her eyes widened. “Maekrux! I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you...you -are- so thin, and your colour is off...”
“I am just... Ulhar now, I think. It is fine.” Maekrux flickered his eyes, huffing tiredly. “It is how it must be.” Vhazshyn sighed ambiguously and stepped further across the boulder she perches on to look out toward Draak. Maekrux eyed her as she looked out over the dead land of Draak. "It is not much of a view, I know. My other lair had a better view."
“Auxixen?” Nidhogg shouted, breaking the solemn air. He and his daughter, Verdeia, came up to the two. He asked Vhazshyn, “Have you seen Ausixen?” Nidhogg was panting from the run up there, having to protect the very young emerald dragon with him, and Ausixen, who had gone missing on the way up.
Vhazshyn frowned. "I have not..."
“Keir a'meo!” Verdeia exclaimed.
Ausixen shouted back, “Ieo am Fine! Ieo will get up there eventually!” Vhazshyn looked relieved to hear Ausixen and sat, draped over the crest of a boulder.
Verdeia shouted, “Hurry, brother!”
Maekrux looked tiredly at his grandchild, then to Nidhogg. “Hello Verdeia... I thought you had faded...” This was the first he had seen Verdeia awake in months. This thought slipped from his head, though as he focused his weak eyes on Nidhogg. “What are you doing here?”
Ausixen rushed up the hill and joined by Verdeia's side. "Keir a'meo!" he exclaimed, but stopped when he saw how thin and weak Maekrux had become.
“They wanted to see you,” was all that Nidhogg had to say.
“You are aware that I did not tell Ausixen where to find me,” Maekrux said.
“He said he didn't know where to find you,” Nidhogg admitted.
Verdeia worked her way up higher than Vhazshyn had managed, causing Vhazshyn to smile. “Keir A'meo,” Verdeia said, “what happened to you...” Verdeia continued to approach Keir A'meo, but then stepped back, unsure.
“Mmm.. I was disbanded, little one. I have come here for my rest…” Maekrux said.
Ausixen shuddered at the sight of Maekrux, so weak and thin. “Ieo thought you were on vacation...” He took his place under Nidhogg's wing.
Maekrux’s eyes looked temporarily to the hatchling under his son-in-law’s wing, causing him to growl his irritation in protest. “I did not want my grandchildren to see me in this way, Nidhogg. Have you become nothing more than a tormentor now?”
Nidhogg was unphased; Maekrux was not certain if he was unaware of the immensity of his cruelty at that moment, or if he had somehow planned it as such. “Do they not deserve to hear the truth?” Nidhogg argued, “Verdeia awoke after so long and wanted to see her Keir A'meo. Should I deny her that?”
Verdeia nodded. “Iea wanted to see you, Keir A'meo!”
Maekrux grunted. “You would cloud their judgment. I would have been better as a memory to them.”
“You are not a memory,” Nidhogg said.
“Not yet,” Maekrux replied with a cough.
Verdeia climbed further up the rocks to her grandfather and nuzzled him gently. “You are no memory to me. Iea am happy to see you again. You can't fade! Iea need you.”
“They braved the dead lands to see you!” Nidhogg exclaimed.
Maekrux leaned weakly into the nuzzle of his granddaughter, his eyes dripping with tears, now certain that Nidhogg was completely clueless. "Is there no where on Istaria I can hide?"
“Why would you choose to hide?” Nidhogg asked. “If you rather we left…” He trailed off as if seized by another thought, “Ausixen thought you were going on a vacation.”
Verdeia asked, “Why you hide from me? Why you hide from your family?” So innocent, so ignorant of what Maekrux was trying to do. She did not deserve to see this.
Maekrux tried to stand up, shaking to his feet. "No dragon wants to be surrounded by others when-" He tried to walk out, but his body was too weak and he fell, sliding down the rocks and landing hard on his side. He lay there, silently for a time in a cloud of dust and lost hopes, his sunken sides rising and falling against the now visible structure of his ribs. He groaned. "There is nothing graceful as a wurm-death…"
“Keir A'meo!” Verdeia exclaimed, jumping off the rocks and joining Maekrux, nosing him in comfort. “Are you ok?”
“What is wrong?” Nidhogg asked, the extent of Maekrux condition finally dawning on him, “You... you are dying?”
Ausixen came up to Maekrux, rubbing his forepaws over Maekrux’s thin and malnourished form. "I-Ieo have been taking care of your lair. Ieo want you to come back to it..."
Maekrux wheezed slightly. "Perhaps when my vacation is over, I shall once more haunt my lair…" He grinned morbidly.
“We would all like you to return,” Nidhogg added.
Verdeia nodded. “Keir A'meo Maekrux... Please, you are missed... Please, come back with us.”
Vhazshyn descended the boulder, moving to Maekrux's other side.
Maekrux was most tempted. To see thigns go back to the way they were, was this all he could hope for? But the reality of the situation was great as his mind told him to stand and his body did not listen. “I... I am not even sure I can move from this spot, little one…”
“I can bring sheeps!” Vhazshyn exclaimed.
“We can help!” Verdeia tried.
Maekrux just lay there, breathing slowly, his ribs pressed against his skin with every rise and fall of his side. The dragons who had come to his deathbed began casting all manner of healing spell they knew on him, trying to somehow raise him from this wurm-death. The act caused Maekrux to laugh, bitterly. No healing spell in the world could make up for starvation – perhaps, as he was hoping, not even the Gift. He shook his head. "Even… healing spells, cannot nourish my soul..." He laughed and cried at the enormity of it all. "Such ignorance. I birth such ignorance into this world..."
“It is all the knowledge we have left... We need a teacher. We need you,” Nidhogg said.
It only made Maekrux lament more, for he would not break his oath. “I have sworn to die in this way... to take my knowledge with me... that teacher is already dead, the body has but to follow…”
“I will bring sheeps,” Vhazshyn said, repeating her previous suggestion, quieter, and this time as a statement. She then promptly recalled away to look for them.
Ausixen came around to Maekrux's snout, staring into his eyes. Then, without warning, he raked his claws across Maekrux's snout, causing him to whine more than roar in agony.
“What was that for... little Phoenix?” Maekrux asked.
“If you're going to die, you should at least feel it! You are no better than a nakadragon to die like this!” Ausixen exclaimed. Verdeia roared in agreement with Ausixen.
Maekrux closed his eyes as his snout bled. "I know. None of us are anymore."
“Don't say that...” Ausixen said. He rested his head on Maekrux's snout, closing his eyes as well.
The statement seemed to offend Nidhogg and Verdeia’s pride and they gave protest of its veracity. But Maekrux didn't hear them. He just breathed lightly. "Ausixen..." he groaned.
Ausixen mistook Maekrux's word as calling to him. "Yes Keir a'meo?"
Maekrux churred weakly. "Ausixen smells like me." It reminded him of his own father and how familiar that scent was. It was comforting. It was confusing. It made him want to live again. “I am... very hungry right now.”
“What food do you seek?” Nidhogg asked.
Maekrux pondered his weakness for a moment, then grinned. "Hope. Nothing less can sate me."
“How can we help? You already have it.” Nidhogg said.
“If I had hope, Nidhogg, I would not be dying a wurmdeath. But… for some time, at least... I will survive, for your sakes. Least until you two are grown,” Maekrux said. Verdeia sighed with relief and then nuzzled her grandfather happily, knowing that he was healing even if she doesn't know why.
“And I hope longer,” Nidhogg added. Verdeia nodded. Nidhogg smiled.
Ausixen sighed, resting against Maekrux's chin. "Ieo will keep your lair ready for your return."
Maekrux sighed. “I… will still be living here... the only difference is that I will not be dying for awhile...” He peered around. "I think the other little one ran off to find food. This is all very silly...” The absurdity of it all was so overwhelming. It would have been nicer to have passed with grace. Even then he thought he would have to find a more hidden place to dig his Death-Chamber.
Vhazshyn arrived, panting to catch her breath from the non-stop return journey. Verdeia greeted her, causing Vhazshyn to nuzzle her, and then she deposited between Maekrux's paws three sheep and a deer, the fuzz already scorched off the sheep.
Maekrux groaned and snuffed at Vhazshyn. "Thank you for prolonging my suffering, little one." Despite this, he weakly pushed Ausixen off his snout and began to eat. Vhazshyn blushed, uncertain, but hopeful. Maekrux groaned, trying to keep the offering down. "I… thank you for coming to see me, all. But you're really destroying this 'hermit' thing... I feel like Lantenal."
“Will you be okay? Do you need help reaching your resting place?” Nidhogg asked.
“I will get there in... due time... I do not need too much help,” Maekrux said, trying to retain some semblance of pride. Dismissing them all, they said their goodbyes and Maekrux devoured his meal, depressed, but still alive.
1 - Ceremony, by Silko.