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Thread: Repercussions

  1. #1

    Default Repercussions

    Aika flew the skies over the Barasavian Desert, searching for her sister; it had been a few days since Shian and Nidhogg had gotten together and Aika was still trying to figure out just what she would say to her sister. There were many things on her mind and lair shaping, hunting, and crafting could only distract her for so long. She had recently spent quite a few hours with Ainura, her adopted mother, and had enjoyed herself tremendously. The crafting had been a very welcome distraction, but it didn’t change the fact that Aika still had to tell her sister about what had transpired…

    Aika had told Nidhogg not to tell Cupil, because she felt responsible for all the recent confusion. She had seen that Cupil felt very strongly about Nidhogg, though exactly why… she could only guess, but she knew it just the same. She had some ideas, however, and believed that Cupil had grown attached to him because of all he had helped her with, but also… Cupil was not one to give herself to very many either, so it was well reasonable that she felt how she did about him.
    Aika had seen this and decided to tell Nidhogg what she saw, because, due to recent events, she could also tell that Shian had grown fonder of him as well. Cupil would have been unable to bring herself to admit it to Nidhogg, because she was afraid to put herself in such a vulnerable situation. Aika had chosen to mention it in hopes that Nidhogg may well share what she saw Cupil had for him.

    How so very wrong she had been…and now… her only real family in this world may well forever be bitter against her. In fact, Aika well expected trouble and for Cupil to become even more demanding that they leave here as soon as possible, that they remember their duties as nobility of Ralgol…

    Aika could not let Nidhogg be the recipient of Cupil’s pain or punishment, even though that would well be fine with her; she just could not because she had been the one to expose her sister prematurely and put things into a very awkward situation as it had become more apparent that Nidhogg and Shian loved each other. She really did not want Nidhogg with Shian, because she felt betrayed by him twice over, and she really did not want that to happen with Shian, though, now, as she thought on it… it meant he would likely betray Cupil as well. Perhaps Shian would be able to take that in better stride if he did do so, because a betrayal would crush her sister.

    She knew too, however, that the news would wound Cupil, possibly scar her and keep her from ever letting herself get close to anyone ever again… Aika knew how that felt, because of Maekrux’s betrayal to her. The disownment had deeply scarred Aika and troubled her even now, though rumors had it that Maekrux had been split into two beings one malevolent and the other an empty husk… or something along those lines…

    What Aika had to do to her sister, was very painful and Cupil would feel betrayed by both Aika and Nidhogg…not good… seeing as Cupil had only just began to open and accept others of Aika’s adopted family and perhaps even seeing them a bit more of hers as well… She could only imagine the scars that could haunt her sister…

    True, Nidhogg had said that he felt it his duty to try to make a difference in Cupil’s life, which troubled Aika, because she had not wanted him to make a choice based on duty… or pity… She had truly hoped that Nidhogg may reciprocate Cupil’s feelings, after all…. He and her sister had gotten along very well, ever since they had first met in the Dragon Den.

    Far below her, Aika saw a flash of silvery-blue and white upon a pyramid top as a bolt of energy struck a desert wolf, dazing it before another bolt sent it tumbling down the stairs, where it did not move again. From her vantage point in the air, Aika smiled at the power she felt from the magic and determined that to be her sister, either training or still trying to solve that silly puzzle of hers. Aika saw a pack of wolves quickly closing in on Cupil, hoping to overwhelm her with greater numbers, but her sister bravely stood against the six wolves that boldly rushed her. A bit alarmed at what could happen, Aika quickly dove down to aid her sister, just as Cupil spiked her scales and sent a tempest of energy at the wolves. In moments, Aika hit the ground, spiking her scales and menacing the wolves as she slashed the closest one with a ravage of swift strikes, felling it in five blows all launched at once.

    “Cupil! I am here!” She could see her sister bleeding a bit and determined that she had to have been out here all-day and fighting for quite a while as she tried to solve her riddle for her Rites of Passage. Aika quickly cast a powerful, rejuvenating breeze to help heal her sister as they simultaneously attacked the pack of wolves; Cupil with her impressive spells and Aika ripping into them with her claws. With Aika’s help, the two quickly dispatched the pack of wolves and Cupil lie down to rest a bit, licking the wound on her side that had been plaguing her since she first arrived in Istaria.

    “Cupil, are you alright?” Concern filled Aika’s voice, but Cupil glanced up to her with a bright smile.
    “I am, thanks to your timely arrival, Aika!” She spoke lightly; it was apparent to Aika that Cupil was quite excited, now that she was getting so close to completing her Rites. It was not often that Aika had ever seen her sister smile.
    Aika smiled faintly, wondering what to do, since Cupil had only wanted to do her Rites with Nidhogg alone… With Nidhogg choosing Shian, it would give Cupil reason not to want to continue with him, especially considering how she felt about him.

    Cupil stretched her wings, wincing a bit as her open injury twinged in protest, “What brings you so far out here, Aika?”
    “I was coming to check on you, to see if you had been able to solve that puzzle yet and I am glad I did.” Aika seemed a bit distant for a moment, which Cupil noticed.
    “There is something else, is there? Have you heard something from Ralgol?” Cupil’s eyes seemed to brighten for a moment in hope.
    “No… this, is something else, we must talk about… Let us go to the top of this pyramid, away from the wolves.” Aika glanced down to her sister for a moment and gestured with her head before walking towards the top of the pyramid with Cupil following quickly after, though with a little bit of difficulty since the stairs were rather steep.
    The two did not take long to reach the top and Aika settled down to await Cupil, who appeared mere moments later, Aika glanced at her for a moment and then spoke, “Come, lay with me so I can tend your wounds; we have much to discuss, sister.”

    With a slightly bemused look, Cupil obeyed and brought herself between Aika’s forepaws to rest, while her sister began to gently preen and lick her wounds.
    “What is it that you want to talk about, Aika?”
    “Well, first, your Rites…I was speaking to Ainura a few days ago and she would like to be able to help you with them, though I know Nidhogg has been with you the whole time. Ainura feels a bit left out, since the gods did not let her help me with mine; she would like to help you with yours. Do you still plan to take both Rites?”
    Cupil seemed thoughtful for a bit before answering, “I am not sure, but if there are those who would help… then I wouldn’t mind doing both. It would be alright for Ainura to help, I guess, if she wants to that badly…” Cupil did not seem to hold much enthusiasm in her tone, but Aika chose not to mention it and nodded.
    “She would very much like to have a chance to do so; she does love you too, Cupil, even if you don’t want to get attached. I know she does, because she just told me a couple days ago, but that is besides the point anyhow. You would have her then?”
    Cupil looked a bit surprised for a moment, but spoke, “She is welcome to join Nidhogg and I.”

    Aika looked a bit troubled for a moment and looked away, “That is the next matter… I have to discuss with you, Cupil…”
    Cupil tilted her head curiously as her sister’s comment, “What about it?”
    Aika’s throat knotted up and she found it very difficult to speak for a bit, which further piqued Cupil’s curiosity.
    “What about Nidhogg, Aika? What do you want to tell me?”

    Aika cast a guilty glance away, looking to the hungry wolves far below them, “Cupil… Shian and Nidhogg have professed their feelings for each other… Nidhogg… Has asked Shian to bond with him…”

    Cupil looked shocked beyond words and couldn’t respond, so Aika did, “Only a mere few days ago… while you were out here, searching for your answers. A while back, I had mentioned to him that you have deeper feelings for him than he was aware of… I thought, perhaps, he may have shared the feelings you have for him… with you…"

    Aika looked away for a time, "I could not have been more wrong… Only a few days ago… I saw how truly deeply Shian and Nidhogg care for each other…. I have never seen Shian cry before…she even sought me out to talk with her at her lair…Nidhogg did not know how she felt… because she was not clear with him… until a few days ago…”

    The deeply hurt expression on Cupil’s visage told Aika a very great deal about how she was taking the dark news, not well in the least, now Aika just had to wait for the backlash to come… her due punishment…

    “Cupil… I had told Nidhogg how I could see you felt, because I believed he felt the same; he had said he needed to know… which is why he talked to you about it when you were near New Rachival.”

    Cupil lay her head miserably within her paws, “You never should have said anything in the first place…it would have been better if he never knew how I felt!”

    “Cupil… he told me he needed to know for certain! I wasn’t going to take that chance from you if he really did feel the same way for you!”

    “Was it really worth the cost? YOU exposed me! He never would have known… and I wouldn’t have had to tell him anything!”

    Aika visibly blanched from the accusation, “It would have been too late for you Cupil… he said as much himself, if he had not known.”

    “Does that matter now? Look what he did instead! You see! That is why I do not want anything to do with this place! I do not see anything in this place that you do! I knew something like this would happen! I would rather be on Ralgol fighting against Nox, knowing I am unable to beat her than having to deal with this! I would rather die than ever have to deal with this and worst of all… YOU, my own SISTER, put me into this! If you had kept your snout out of my business, this never would have happened in the first place! I should have been killed with Sire and Dam instead of making it here!”
    Cupil tore off her Soul Guard and threw it to the ground in fury, watching it bounce for a bit before she suddenly staggered, and collapsed as the open wound pulsed a sickly gray color for a moment and Cupil’s once shining scales became very pale and sickly-colored.

    Aika, however, could not respond, such was her state of mind at Cupil’s sudden burst of rage and the words she had just spoken; she looked clearly stunned and dazed as she tried to absorb what Cupil had just said before suddenly collapsing. A wave of dizziness filled her senses and she too staggered, as if in a drunken stupor, before lying back down, a blank look in her violet eyes.

    Cupil lie on the ground for a moment, fighting to recover herself as she realized the mistake of pulling off her charm; Frall had warned her never to remove it until she was out of her hatchling body. Cupil picked herself up and walked over to the glimmering Soul Guard, picked it up and put it inside her scale pack; right now, she just didn’t feel like wearing it, because it had been Nidhogg that had helped her get it.

    Cupil glanced coldly to Aika, who still seemed a bit stunned, but was slowly regaining her senses and spoke with barely a whisper, “Is… this true?”

    Cupil glared at Aika, “Now you ask me if I am telling the truth? You don’t believe me, not in all our years of living with each other? Why on Ralgol would I lie about something like that?”

    Aika stood up, “Because you hid your wound from me; I wouldn’t put it past you to pull a dirty trick like that now.”

    Instead of exploding in anger as Aika had well expected her to, Cupil spoke calmly, “Yes, dear sister, our parents were killed when they sent me here… the portal misfired when Nox attacked it and I was sent back to there… amidst all the forces of Nox’s dark empire. I had to flee from countless Darklings until they cornered me in a canyon… one of them struck me with a special blade… a planar weapon, imbued with the dark poison of the Darklings; that is where I got this injury. Planar Energy entered the wound, causing a planar sickness. We are the Giga, Bluecorea, Aika, and planar energies opposite to what we are will make us very sick.” Cupil paused for a moment, gauging Aika’s actions, but when she didn’t respond, she continued to speak, “Alone, I fought from a tiny niche in a canyon wall, until Sire and Dam found me and cleared the way for me to get out while they again prepared that portal spell. While they did that… Nox’s forces surged in again with many times greater numbers. For they knew that Sire and Dam had used the last of their energy to send me here. As the portal closed around me, I saw the Darklings kill our parents. I hope you are happy, Aika, because you really do have a family here, but you have a duty back on Ralgol. Our parents are dead, we must take the reins of leadership upon ourselves and I will not let you shirk that duty. One way or another, dear sister, we WILL return to Ralgol and avenge our parents, take up the mantle of leadership, and destroy Nox’s forces, Giga reincarnation or not. You have no right to stay here and I really do not have a reason to do so. Enjoy your ‘family’ while you can, Aika, because you will have to let them go, just as our parents did to us and made the ultimate sacrifice.” Cupil paused for a moment before speaking again, “Unless you wish to hide in Istaria like a cowardly lizard and let all those who need you to die or become enslaved to Nox. I am sure their sacrifice for your happiness will be well worth it. I am growing quickly Aika, and soon, we will be able to return, sister, I look forward to our next talk.” Cupil then wandered off to continue her search for the answer to her riddle, leaving a very troubled Aika, who was still too stunned to be able to feel very angry right now.

    She watched her sister wander off for a bit before she decided to recall to Heather and cast the spell to return; she would need some time to think, and often… she didn’t really see too many others in Heather while she was around there, though… a few times she had seen others passing by.
    As she reappeared upon the roof of the guild house, she spoke in bemused wonder, “Sire and Dam dead? This just can’t be true… they were too strong… Is Cupil that upset to say something of that sort? Perhaps this is a sort of punishment she has in mind for me… maybe just to…” Aika felt that somehow, Cupil had to be lying, but she also felt that it could not really be a lie either…

    "Has the darkness of Bluecorea manifested itself with this news to her?" Aika spoke softly, hurt at the manner in which Cupil had slighted the title 'sister' with her tone, "Perhaps, my deserving punishment, should be to lose my only blood sister..."

    Aika felt a bit sick and lightheaded, but could not really be certain if she really were sick, or just too surprised to think straight. A sort of tingling in her stomach also served to make her feel a bit nauseous; after all, the news of their parents’ deaths was very shocking indeed...
    Last edited by Litarath; January 5th, 2008 at 08:15 AM.

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  2. #2

    Default Re: Repercussions

    Why do I have the feeling that was only the beginning of our troubles.... If I wasn't too busy being IG enjoying this plotline, I'd write more and catch the rest of Istaria up on our little adventure. Who was it? Miir that said this sounded like it was out of a shoujo?

  3. #3

    Default Re: Repercussions

    *nod nod* I'll just sit here eating my popcorn and listening to the ongoing story. I love how its now gotten -more- complicated than it was as of ...mmm... this morning. So, which one of you is claming the rights to the novel or manga from this?


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  4. #4

    Default Re: Repercussions

    And as if things could not get any more complicated, Aer logs in.... -_-

    *faceplant*

  5. #5

    Default Re: Repercussions

    ((LOL seriously? OMG! if Aer stays... this will become even better!! if Aerioch takes to hating both Shian and Nid for this... Cupil can join! he-he... but on a note... in-game... we have two options.
    play as if Cupil just heard this news, or as if it has been a few days... the first option, she won't be much like herself and will likely be a bit cruel. the second option, she will have had a few days to calm down and think on things, making her more herself. I need to know how you and Nid want to go with that. Another note... I put that part in Heather in, so those who may have been passing through may know, since some are usually around Heather.))

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  6. #6

    Default Re: Repercussions

    (
    Literal LOL at Aerioch returning now. xD Awesome.

    Looking forward to reading whatever is written of all this.
    )
    "Ohoh...someone is actually trying to sell something, I see an attunement coming. LOL" - Teto Frum


  7. #7

    Default Re: Repercussions

    Quote Originally Posted by Arzel Rashemi View Post
    *nod nod* I'll just sit here eating my popcorn and listening to the ongoing story. I love how its now gotten -more- complicated than it was as of ...mmm... this morning. So, which one of you is claming the rights to the novel or manga from this?

    I suppose I shall.... Today at work will be trying to compile a timeline of the important things in this mess. I'll pass it along to you all to make sure I remembered everything okay in regards to what goes where. I only have a few transcripts as a patch ate some of my saved stuff, so I'm trying to wing it.

    Once I throw a timeline at you three and it looks accurate I can spend my nights getting Shian's side up to speed for those interested in this rather bizzare turn of events. This will be alot of typing....

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Repercussions

    Nice piece of writing, Aika! Although I obviously have no foot in this roleplay storyline... since... I'm not allowed to roleplay with you guys anymore... I still find you've made it clear and interesting.

    I like to hear stories from others' point of views, although I must admit I often find I have difficulty feeling with Aika and Cupil. >.> 'Prolly just me though, since I can't pinpoint why. Aika's trapped in her own inner turmoil to begin with I think... maybe you could use some questions to fully show her confusion and worry about the situation she's in :P You've done really well with the change in style to show her thoughts, but I think it would be a nice addition to have questions (especially since the beginning drags slightly; questions grab the reader's attention because it almost addresses them )

    Another little thing that kinda bothered me was the fight scene. :P (I am so darned nitpicky, even though I'm a cruddy writer XD ) First and foremost, it has the potential to really interest the reader, but it's written in such a way that it's predictable and thus a little dull. Come on, you have a fight scene and you're doing nothing with it! XD True, the sentence structure is different from Aika's reflections but it's just the normal, the average. I'd suggest either lengthening or shortening the sentences (both ways work nicely methinks :P ) to speed things up: try to make the reader have to take different breaths and pauses if they were reading it aloud

    Another little thing (this is getting really quite nitpicky) that kinda miffed me was 1. the casual way in which they took down the wolves and 2. telling and not showing

    I know I'm being really annoying when I say this, but it's generally best to tone things down when you're writing X3 The casual way they dispatch a whole load of wolves and have absolutely nothing to say about it alienates the reader. (that may also just be me alone ^^ ) In computer and video games characters are horribly overpowered: godly magic and impossible strength make even huge battles nothing. But this is (though based on a game) a piece of fiction. I dunno... maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but I think it should be treated differently >.>

    Telling and not showing >.> Most of the piece is great in that it follows the "show don't tell" rule but in the battle scene you gloss things over a little. Maybe it's just the way you call Cupil's spells "impressive"... show us they're impressive, don't tell us. Maybe have a line of description about the crippling effect of her blasts on the wolves? Because if the writer calls a character "impressive" or beautiful or whatever and the reader doesn't agree, it sounds like character worship. Not saying you do of course, but sometimes that's the way it comes across :P Just try not to tell the reader what to think ^^

    And lastly there's quite a bit of infodumping; large chunks of information that are difficult to digest. >.> I'd suggest taking out everything that isn't entirely nessessary (and I know a lot of the info was nessessary ) and splitting it up a little; maybe returning to the characters so the readers don't lose track of the story.

    That's it really, all those aside it looks really good to me ^w^ And gosh I'm sorry... I didn't realise I'd drawn those crits out so much O.o Just punch me if I annoyed/insulted you in any way XD

    ---------------------------------------

    On a kinda non-focused-on-the-writing sort of thing... I thought Nidhogg was with Aerioch. O.o

    I also... kinda thought... you guys were trying to get rid of the drama...?

  9. #9

    Default Re: Repercussions

    Quote Originally Posted by Galdethriel View Post
    I thought Nidhogg was with Aerioch. O.o
    He was. xD But Aerioch went into the long sleep.
    "Ohoh...someone is actually trying to sell something, I see an attunement coming. LOL" - Teto Frum


  10. #10

    Default Re: Repercussions

    ((I appreciate your views Galde, but in all truth, I wasn't really 'overpowering' either Aika or Cupil... It was casual, because, well... take a look at Aika's level, she can kill those creatures with a single Ravage or Gold Rage and probably more than half-kill them with a Silver Strike and then finish them off with a Breath of Fire or Breath of Lightning. Cupil is almost level 50 and does an average of 120-150 damage per cast on a creature like that, plus her spiked scales, which I have personally seen dish out 150 damage with one hit on them.

    The manner in which this piece was written is how it should be.... with a lot more information in it than one would have expected... the idea is to get the reader to go 'what? what just happened there?' if that is what happened by it 'being difficult to digest' then my goals were met and that is the reaction it was supposed to get. this wasn't supposed to be about the fight scene by any means, which is another reason why I didn't go into detail... believe me, if I had felt like it, I could have extended that post a great deal by going into every exact little detail about the fight, but that really would have distracted the readers from the two characters. I am a writer and TOR Fantasy themselves has seen what I can do, and they like it.

    Though, the intent of this post is not to rant and raze each other, I figured I would clear up a few things.))

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    Default Re: Repercussions

    (( Meep. O.o

    I didn't mean that comment quite like that... it's kinda difficult to explain. I just kinda think that what they can do in-game should be toned down for writing. Game characters being turned into characters in prose without being toned down end up being people with almightly Godliness at their fingertips and it's quite... alienating. Personal opinion, so I dunno if anyone else has the same problem.

    Oh I see. :P But uhm... being difficult to digest turns readers away. The writing doesn't draw me in, I find, to learn about what's going on. It doesn't give me much motivation to want to know what's going on. I end up having to wade through all this unwanted information to try and get myself drawn in and, to be honest, I probably would have given up quite early on if it wasn't you who wrote it. You can't bore your readers, Aika, or they'll find something else to read. O.o Don't take that as an attack though :P

    If the fight wasn't meant to do anything, you should probably just drop it entirely and have Aika find Cupil resting after a fight. >.> I dunno if this is right, but on a writers' forum I frequent all of the much more experienced writers seem to follow a general rule of cutting out anything that doesn't have a purpose. I can give points for the fight being in there: it helps to show that Aika and Cupil are in a world where fighting is nessessary. It also shows Cupil's dedication to training. I still think it should be cut out because you can show that with the alternative I mentioned, but that's just a personal kinda thing.

    Ohnoes I rambled again. O.o Sorry... XD ))

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    (( Oh and I forgot to ask. XD

    Who or what is TOR Fantasy? (and why is it relevant in this conversation that they like your writing? :/ ) ))

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Repercussions

    ((I believe TOR is a book publisher, TOR Fantasy being one of the sub-labels thereof.

    Yeah, it was hilariously ironic to see Aerioch come back the day or so after this was posted ;p I wish I haven't been so busy and out of sorts lately, otherwise I'd have some fun with these repercussions myself. Aerioch is a strong dragon though. Good for a bit of drama and I think things will be bumpy, but all right eventually. ;p

    Also Aerioch, come back more often! Mae-Mae misses you! ;_; ))
    Maekrux Vythulhar, the Blue Phoenix
    "Resurgam!"

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    Default Re: Repercussions

    (( *hugs Mae* XD Awww the poor sweetheart.

    Nidd, three dragonesses? You pimp! XD Hey wait. Nidd already had kids with Aerioch but now he's with Aerioch's once-adopted-sister's adopted daughter? XD And so the collection of dragon family trees becomes even more confusing. Kill me now. XD ))

  15. #15

    Default Re: Repercussions

    Quote Originally Posted by Galdethriel View Post
    Nidd already had kids with Aerioch but now he's with Aerioch's once-adopted-sister's adopted daughter? XD And so the collection of dragon family trees becomes even more confusing. Kill me now. XD ))
    *snicker* Ohhh.... just wait. Should get real funny here next month.

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