Movie Theater Etiquette

[Sika]

Don't worry, I'm not posting any Batman spoilers here.

So last Friday I went with my boyfriend to see The Dark Knight. Obviously as it was opening day the theater was pretty busy, however we went to an earlier showing so it wasn't too crowded. As the movie was about to start a pair of grandparents with their ~6 year old grandson sit down next to us with the kid sitting immediately to my right. I'm already unhappy about this, and right off the bat the kid starts talking and squirming in his seat. I hoped he would at least quiet down once the movie started, but alas, it was not to be.

The kid talked and squirmed through almost the entire movie. Any time something was happening all I could hear was "That's the Joker!" or "That's Batman!" or "Why did he do that? What's that? Is that guy dead?" On top of that, every time the kid started talking grandma would tell him how he needed to be quiet, however it did nothing to quiet him down and only added to the distractions. No amount of evil looks to grandma seemed to motivate her to do anything else. They also bought the kid a box of Nerds, which as I know now is the noisiest candy in existance. Imagine the sound of little hard candy in a cardboard box as it's tilted up, tilted back, and then "crunch crunch crunch" as he chews with his mouth open. Do this for 15 minutes.

So after 2 hours of this my boyfriend and I are pretty pissed. He also said the people sitting next to him were also irritated by all the noise. We're getting towards the end of the movie with some seriously suspenseful scenes, and now the kid is obviously very bored. He starts using his straw and empty soda cup as a noisemaker. "Slurp...slurp...slurp...slurp." Grandma has either lost her voice from yelling at him, or has gone deaf from all his noise because she is no longer trying to stop him. After a couple minutes of the straw noises my boyfriend reaches over me and slaps his armrest while telling him to knock it off. Please take note that he didn't touch the kid at all. I repeat, he did not lay a finger on the kid, just his armrest. After that, the kid finally sat quietly for the last half hour or so of the movie. Unfortunately the movie had already been ruined for me. I missed out on key parts of the plot because of all the distractions, and because of that large parts of the movie don't make a lot of sense to me.

So my question is, what happened to movie theater etiquette? I dread going to the movies any more because more often than not there's someone completely obnoxious sitting near me, both children and adults alike. If a kid can't sit quietly for a movie, then they don't belong in a theater where the average age of viewers is in the double digits. I would be completely embarassed and would leave the theater if I had a small child with me ruining a movie for everyone around me. This is all ignoring the fact that Batman is a totally inappropriate movie for a 6 year old anyway, and there were many other kid friendly movies playing.

So, am I just being a grouch? Does anyone else feel the same way I do?

[Sigi]

I totally agree with you.
If you want to talk while watching a movie or can't watch the screen without making obnoxious sounds an loudly eating (smelly) food, please rent the dvd and watch at home.

[Barrak]

First of all, I agree with you - I can't believe someone would take a 6-year old to see Dark Knight. It was not a movie for young children. I know I wouldn't take my 6-year old to see it (and I didn't).

Second of all, movie theater etiquette is a thing of the past. The DVD/VCR age has gotten people accustomed to talking, getting up and moving around, etc. during the movie with no regards to anyone else. As if they were watching it in their own living room.

Cellphones are making that worse - I see people talking on their phones, text messaging constantly, etc. during movies. It's rude, but it's a way of life these days.

I've tried asking politely if the offending people will quiet down, but that usually just makes it worse. That's why I only see 2-3 movies a year in a theater. I wait for the rest to hit DVD or Cable. I just can't see spending $20-25 for my wife and I to go see a movie (and maybe splurge on a drink) to have it ruined by some a--hat sitting next to us.

I'll only go to theaters for big blockbuster movies (like Dark Knight) and I'll try to go at odd hours when I know it will be less crowded. It's sad to have to be that way, but that's life I guess.

[Tcei]

Unless I'm mistaken you can go up to the front desk and complain to an employee and they will either tell the people to quiet down or have them removed from the theater.

On the other hand grandma needs to grow a flipping backbone and punish the brat for once... it'll help in the future... I cant count the times I've been tempted to turn around and smack the **** out of some little brat being a nuisance in public. Its a shame (grand)parents would rather their little "darling" cause all sorts of havoc than actualy punish them because they're to afraid/lazy/don't care.
I rarely go to the movies and I avoid just released movies like the plague just because of this.

On a slightly related note.... Link

[Kumu Honua]

I am the guy that the grandmother would hate.

I would have told her directly "Control your child or I will have them remove you from the theater."

I will not tolerate inconsiderate jackasses disrupting my experience that I paid money for. Especially with today's costs.

For this reason, I tend to avoid overly popular movies till they are at least a couple weeks old. It would simply be impossible for me to have everyone ejected from the theater.

The problem with etiquette is the same problem for everything relating to children these days.

Parents these days do not instill their children with morals, discipline, responsibility or the knowledge that there are consequences. Too often the babysitter is the TV or Gameboy. Corporal punishment isn't utilized anymore and punishments that are received (if ever) are soft and weak and easily shrugged off. Parents spend too much time at work and not enough time with their children.

Sad thing is that if you thought THIS generation was bad. Wait till THEY have kids...

[Takora Drakan]

I totally agree with you.
If you want to talk while watching a movie or can't watch the screen without making obnoxious sounds an loudly eating (smelly) food, please rent the dvd and watch at home.

Seconed!

That is also a reason why I rarely now go to the theater and most times wait till I can watch the dvd. Then at least I can slap my friends if they are loud during the movie.

[rizo/nawkia]

Id just clock the kid>.> movie tickets to expensive anyway

[pevil2000]

Ugh completely agreed on this. I rarely go to see stuff at the cinema, usually only if it's a 'big' film with flashy cgi that you kinda have to see on the big screen to get the real effect.

Problem is half the time parents won't do anything (lets face it, anyone dragging a small child along to an older movie probably doesn't give a rats arse about discipline in most cases), or they do as the grandma in this case and ineffectually add to the noise. If you tell staff they often won't do anything anyway, and even if they do you have wasted more of the film by getting up to go tell someone/disturbed others even by getting up.

The one I really don't understand though is teenagers turning up to the cinema, paying to get in and then not actually watching it at all. They sit and chat and laugh... er... you can do that for free outside or round your house? *slaps them silly*

[Frith-Rae]

Amen guys!! Theater ettiquette is lost..

But hell yes I complain to managers when pepole are talking, being too loud, on their cell phone, have their obnoxious kids (who are never old enought to be in the theater, cuz its you know always R rated horror movies...)

We ALMOSt had a similiar experience when we saw Batman this weekend. A black couple walks in with THREE small children - one that looked like 10, one tha tlooked about 5, and at least one (maybe two) toddles. Sat down RIGHT NEXT to us - and we all blanched.

However, amazingly enough, the kids remained pretty silent throughout the movie. I was shocked.

I WISH movies would adopt a national policy like that one they had in Springfield, MO - when I lived there for a few years.

Children under the age of 10 or 12 or something were NOT allowed in ANY Rated pg13/R movies after six oclock - with or without parental guidance.

So matinees you'd have little kids in bad movies, but at least after six you were safe.

[Shar]

Now this is a topic I can unleash on...

I go to LOTS of movies in a year, about 30 or so (tops was 55!), and I have developed a hard line on the folks that sit in the theater with me. I give everybody one chance, by asking politely for some restraint to their disturbance (surprisingly, this normally works). After that, I go straight for an usher.

Have probably had about a dozen or so folks thrown out for being disruptive this year alone; for various reasons such as throwing crap in the theater, talking on phones, and disruptive children.
The key is not being afraid to go get an usher, that's what they're there for!

On the down side though, be ready for that possible confrontation Johny Fights-A-Lot in the parking lot afterwards, as some folks just refuse to believe that they can possibly be a disruption to anybody around them and feel as though they need to defend their wounded pride. Have encountered a handful of these folks over the years, but fortunately, they have all been resolved peacefully.

[LOVWYRM]

as much as I agree with you all^^

pls consider this:

In Africa they say :" It takes a whole village to raise a child " .
Much truth in that!!

Nowadays, often enough, a mom or a dad is left alone with that.
And even if there are grandparents and ants and uncles- sometimes that is not enough at all!!

We all are called to take some responsibilities to socialize little ones,
and I know, that is really demanding, stressful and aggravating.
But it makes no sense to push the responsibilities around (parents, school, family, church or other institutions).
But that is what happens atm in our societies. And it`s obviers, that we have to bare the consequences (look at the subject of this thread).

It needs some civil courage and the ability and will to handle conflicts.
For the sake of further societies.

And besides all that- we should never forget, we`ve been little monsters ourselfs^^

(and pls excuse my insufficient English for such an important issue)

[Sigi]

And besides all that- we should never forget, we`ve been little monsters ourselfs^^

Never! I was too shy to be a little brat

[aine]

And besides all that- we should never forget, we`ve been little monsters ourselfs^^

I certainly was NOT! I was a delightful little child, always well behaved and polite. (*winks*)

I stopped going to the theater for movies long ago. Finding my feet stuck to the floor was bad enough, in my opinion, without having to deal with noisy neighbors. I see less of that type of behavior in live theater audiences. Different crowd maybe.

[LaughingOtter]

I know this is a rant & all, but...

Our daughter doesn't get to go to the movies. She has autism and is prone to behaviors which we know would annoy everyone around us. However, it's not just a matter of her being incapable of controlling those behaviors; it's also the reactions we get from other people when she does have an outburst. Almost universally, we're treated with the same hostility that's been expressed in this thread. When we talk to other parents of autistic children, we hear the same stories from them as well.

What we almost never hear of, or experience ourselves, is anyone asking if we're alright or offering to help. I've had to carry our daughter out of the grocery store - slung over my shoulder, screaming for Mommy, kicking, clawing, and trying to rip my glasses off - with people blocking my way while they told me off for being a lousy parent who raised a spoiled brat.

I don't dispute that there are rude people and kids who do annoying things in the world; I get just as annoyed as anyone else at people who choose to behave badly. The key word there is 'choose'.

Sometimes, it's not a choice.

[Kumu Honua]

There is always a choice.

You made the choice. You choose not to take your daughter to the movies. You are responsible. You are able to weigh consequences and make a choice. You know that your child may disrupt the theater. You know that inflicting that upon others would be inconsiderate. You made the choice.

That's not the issue.

The issue is those who ignore the outbursts or are ineffectual at curtailing the problem. Those who do not take responsibility. Those who force others to remedy the situation when they should be the ones to do so. They too have made a choice. They have made the wrong choice.

[Shian]

The issue is those who ignore the outbursts or are ineffectual at curtailing the problem. Those who do not take responsibility. Those who force others to remedy the situation when they should be the ones to do so. They too have made a choice. They have made the wrong choice.

I've been reprimanded before. Some 7 yr. old girl was being noisy, running around a resturant so I did what I thought anyone else would do-reached out when she got by my table and held on so she wouldn't run into the waitress who was carrying my food and had a couple trays in her face.

Told the kid, "This type of behaivor is not for a resturant" kid looked at me like I was nuts- that no one has ever told her this before. Mom swoops in outta nowhere and starts screaming my head off that I was 'hurting' her child, what was I doing grabbing her like that?! etc. while I just stated at her with a blank look. *sigh* Can't win no matter what you do, can you?

I got to eat and the kid left my table alone. Continued to run around the rest of the resturant though.

[pevil2000]

Ah the problem LO is that you're in the minority. You're actually considerate about others reactions (and the effect it'll have on yourselves too, another thing a lot of people seem not to think about). You can often (but not always) tell if a child is just badly behaved/parents are ignoring them either way, it's those who just outright ignore their kids that bug me. Then you get the others, the ones who try all they can but just cannot get through to the kids.

I hate it when I watch those programs where you have a nanny come in for a couple of weeks to turn the kids around. "I can't tell her off, it will upset her!"... *rolls eyes* I was an incredibly well behaved child (and teenager... still waiting to have that rebellious period and I'm 24 now ) but even I got the odd smack if I deserved it. Never did me any harm, nor harmed my relationship with my parents (closer to my parents than most of my friends are to theirs).

Bah I just hate kids as a general rule though hehe. Gimme a dog anyday I do completely agree with what Lov says, about the whole village raising a child. It's true, it does take a lot of effort and people! But so many are too selfish to help out, or too busy themselves, and if I was to say anything to a child misbehaving in our store, I would risk myself having an angry parent who could complain to Head Office and lose me my job! Ridiculous, but true.

[ScaleIron]

There have been instances where I will be in public, at the mall or just walking on the street, and some child is running around like they were raised by an idiot. Not looking out for other people, or cars driving by on the street, some will even run around and squeel while the carriage horses are nearby. Those are big horses, and if they spook and react to that kid someone could get hurt.

On the more serious occassions, I've actually found myself stepping in to yank the kid out of the street, or guide them away from an aggravated draft horse, or stop them while running around in a theater/restaurant. My mom has even done this, and more often than not the parent of that child will go off on us for it.

These days, we still intervene, but if the parent tries to argue with us we make a few verbal jabs of our own. It's usually enough to shut them up, and then we can continue on our way.

When I was a kid, if I acted like that I was spanked right there in the store. My folks did a good job raising me, they weren't afraid to punish me if I crossed a line. They taught me to be respectful and responsible and mature. I only wish people did that more often. :\

[Tcei]

Same here Pevil, I cant count how many times I've seen some little brat running throu my work place throwing stuff off of shelves, being loud, get on the PA system and scream curse words and hate speach, and generally being a nuisance, all the while I cant really say or do anything to stop it save call a manager, less I want to risk my job.

So very few parents actualy seem willing to punish their kids, either for fear of being called abusive, or because they actually think a child is to "fragile". I can remember seeing a news cast when I was maybe 9 or 10 of a woman who was weeping and giving some BS of a sob story about how because her daddy spanked (Not abused, or severly beat her just spanked her for misbehavior...) her one time when she was little it ruined her life, and now she afraid to get involved in relationships and blah blah blah *puke* even at that age I thought it was BS.

Growing up I was very rarely in trouble, and could probably count on one hand how many times I got spanked. My sister on the other hand was a holy nightmare, the only thing that every seemed to get through to her was spanking. Grounding was a joke to her.

LO, I'd probably be one of the ones who'd actually cheer for you if I saw you, even tho I wouldnt know that she was autistic. At least you make an effort to deal with your child when she starts to act up so very few parents do these days

[Sigi]

I'm not for spanking personally. It's weird. You don't spank an other human being and I really think you're sending a wrong message. Why can you hit a child while you get angry when the child hits a friend or a brother or sister?

I think you have to set rules, be consequent in it (don't give in because it's easy or whatever) - more like training a pet really, they need a lot of attention, and certainly don't let them do what they please - at least not in public.