About the order community's warmth

[LungTien Temeraire]

Hello, I wanted just to say that, on the Order shard, I'd have like to see a warmer community... I mean, several people are warm, yes, but if more people was saying something like "hello" when they log, or "later" when they leave, and greeting newcomers, as replying to someone who is going to log off, the community would look really warmer. Sure, I know some can be busy, or away from keyboard, or not watching the channels, but that isn't always the case.
I was speaking of a generality, and that was my thoughs.

[Shian]

Just because you feel the need to say hi every time you log in, dosen't give me any feeling of need that I must do the same.

Personally I feel as if I'm insulting the server if I say when I'm logging off, when I log on, when I'm afk for dinner etc. Who really cares? It feels pretentious to me to assume that someone would care to know where I am every minute of the day. Hence why I don't label it as 'warmth'

That being said, I see this often anyways. The greetings and responses to logging off messages etc. If you feel you need more response, I find you get better responses in a guild channel. Case in point:
I said hi to dragon. One responded.
I said hi to both guild channels. All responded.

[Vortura]

I've seen some people log in click their "hello." macro which goes off in 3 or so channels at once. I find that a bit cold and insincere and simply ignore them.
They're not looking to start a conversation, ask for anything or make people feel welcome, they're just announcing "I'm here!" and it's possible they look to see how loved they might be from the number of responses they get.

It depends on the channels (and sometimes particular players) as to whether I'll say hi or goodbye, to my or others players entrances and exits.

[LungTien Temeraire]

- Just because you feel the need to say hi every time you log in, dosen't give me any feeling of need that I must do the same.

Personally I feel as if I'm insulting the server if I say when I'm logging off, when I log on, when I'm afk for dinner etc.-

Shian, I'm not forcing anybody to reply when someone is greeting, or being afk, or to say welcome back.

Who really cares? I'd say your friends.

- I've seen some people log in click their "hello." macro which goes off in 3 or so channels at once. I find that a bit cold and insincere and simply ignore them.

I don't use macros, and I don't know how many do that.

- They're not looking to start a conversation, ask for anything or make people feel welcome, they're just announcing "I'm here!" and it's possible they look to see how loved they might be from the number of responses they get. -

Sometimes, indeed, this isn't to ask for something or start a conversation, but I think a simple greeting is rather a politeness.

I was saying that because when it happens, I simply feel like I'm ignored, and I think, by the way, that new players, in this situation, could feel the same.

[Vortura]

I can see where you're coming from LungTien, and I agree wholeheartedly that being friendly and warm in places like New Player channel is vital if you want new or returning players to stay.
Same goes for guild chatrooms and other player channels like Happy Hunting on Order where you are probably more connected to the players there.
Market Place channel I just see as a place where I might greet those who I know, or if I want to sell or buy something.

[LungTien Temeraire]

I can see where you're coming from LungTien, and I agree wholeheartedly that being friendly and warm in places like New Player channel is vital if you want new or returning players to stay.
Same goes for guild chatrooms and other player channels like Happy Hunting on Order where you are probably more connected to the players there.
Market Place channel I just see as a place where I might greet those who I know, or if I want to sell or buy something.

I'd add Dragon channel, in which new players are commonly coming.

[Raptress]

Personally I feel as if I'm insulting the server if I say when I'm logging off, when I log on, when I'm afk for dinner etc. Who really cares? It feels pretentious to me to assume that someone would care to know where I am every minute of the day. Hence why I don't label it as 'warmth'

This is about my view on doing such things myself. Everyone in Dragon Chat doesn't need to know when I log off. My friends might, but that's why I say I'm logging off in a private channel with my friends in it. Letting everyone in a public channel - many of whom I know very little or not at all - know what I'm doing seems rude to me, as if I'm making myself out to be the most important person in the world whom everyone must want to know about.

I often don't answer blanket greetings (or any other sort of alert) in public chats either, since they are blanket greetings. They aren't targeted at anyone. I'll say "hello" back if I'm directly greeted, sure, but if someone just says "Hello" to everyone in Dragon Chat every time they log on, there's not a lot of point to me in returning it, especially if I don't even know the person very well. Now, if I'm RPing with someone in DC and they say they're going afk, that's fine. That's a useful alert with a target that wants to know those things in the channel.

That, and I'm not a fan of small talk. If I'm talking, it's usually because I have something to ask or say. I don't really participate much in the whole "Hey, how are you? How's the weather?" sort of banter unless I'm pretty sure it's going to lead somewhere more relevant. Blanket greetings in public chat? They usually don't.

Now, if a new player were to come in and say "Hello, I'm new", that's different. When I see a new player, I usually try to answer any questions they may have (as questions are often why they say "Hello, I'm new" in the first place) and welcome them to the game. Completely different scenario than someone who I know just says when they're logging on or off.

[neva]

Honestly Lung, from being on and watching you come on and leave, you yourself honestly don't exactly give that wonderful warm feeling when you type.

Typically when you come on to say--
The RPC your intro in to say oocly hello is just like:
(hello)

I tend to see all lower case letters as being someone who is either being cold, or kinda upset and thus tend to leave them alone. After all, the biggest curse of text is that we can't see someone's face or hear their voice, so we have to go by how the text looks.

If you wanted a warm reply back you probably should at least do like:
(hello!)
Or
(hello! how is everyone?)

Something that will give a bit more meaning then just:
..hi... I'm here... yeah...

So, probably keep that in mind when your typing a hello. Make it warmer and you'll get more responses.

[LungTien Temeraire]

Honestly Lung, from being on and watching you come on and leave, you yourself honestly don't exactly give that wonderful warm feeling when you type.

Typically when you come on to say--
The RPC your intro in to say oocly hello is just like:
(hello)

I tend to see all lower case letters as being someone who is either being cold, or kinda upset and thus tend to leave them alone. After all, the biggest curse of text is that we can't see someone's face or hear their voice, so we have to go by how the text looks.

If you wanted a warm reply back you probably should at least do like:
(hello!)
Or
(hello! how is everyone?)

Something that will give a bit more meaning then just:
..hi... I'm here... yeah...

So, probably keep that in mind when your typing a hello. Make it warmer and you'll get more responses.

Personally, when I log and say "hi" or "hello", I am not saying "That's me! I'm here!". I greet the other members of the community, because I think this is more important in a little community as Istaria's one, than in a huge WoW's community. I'd say I've often asked how was everyone, these days.
Do you know I'm often buffing everyone I see when they move near my character?

Of course, you do what you wish and I won't tell force you to do as I want.

[Frith-Rae]

Yea, don't read interpretations or tone into someone's greetings. You're reading WAYYYYY too much into that - lol.

Well I guess I"m just a rude dragon - since every time I"ve logged in since 2003 I greet dragon chat with a big ol HOW YA DOIN!. TO me even if I don't know them personally, they're my community and I love them all *shrugs*. Its not cuz I"m narcissitic and think they give a crap - I don't expect a response (though its always nice when I get one because hey - its an MMO - I'm here to talk to people lol).

And when I leave I say goodbye - because to me it expressed the fact that I give a crap about everyone else too. Not because I'm important enough they need to know I'm leaving, but because 1-I hate it when people I do know leave without saying goodbye and maybe some people might care to know and 2-I genuinly give a crap about everyone ELSE and want to wisht hem good things in case I never see them again.

So, see it as rude or see it as giving a crap. Respond or don't *shrugs* I know I'm doing my part to be friendly and open as much as I can.

But no LT, don't interpret people not responding as people not caring - this happens in all games - people get busy, distracted, tired, whatever - not everyone as you have seen here cares to acknowledge other people's existances for whatever reason. Some will, some won't. Do what you feel good about and move on . As many times as i never get a response with a hello I will get a response with a question.

And I *always* respond in a channel to a question - even if I have no clue what he answer is - because the person always appreciates some type of response even if its not helpful. It lets them know they're just not being outright ignored - lol.

[LungTien Temeraire]

I agree with you, Frith-Rae. And I know it isn't that these ones aren't caring. They have their reasons, indeed. What I said were just the impressions I had, and that some others, like new players, could have. I won't tear them into pieces for that, of course.

[Veruliyam]

Hooray for [this kind of] rudeness!

[Dhalin]

Here's my thoughts on this:

I'm a person who... shall I say... does not have very many friends IRL. In fact, the number of non-coworkers, non-relatives I know and *routinely* interact with, is a whopping...

Zero.

Yes, yes, I'm one of *those* people whose life is 98% online. And even online, I'm one of those "Alone in a crowd" people. I'm not really the kind of person to open up to anyone quickly or easily (unless there is luck involved, or the other person approaches). I wouldn't call myself rude or anti-social, though.

Just because I don't approach others, and reach out doesn't mean I don't welcome such things being done to me.

Either way, be that as it may, I tend to not really say anything to anyone when I log on -- I don't really *know* anyone in Istaria. I've talked a little to a few peeps here, but to actually say I *know* them... that's going a bit far.

If someone says "hello" in a chat channel and I don't respond... it isn't because of rudeness, lack of "warmth", or anti-socialness. It is more, it wasn't directed at me directly kinda thing.

That, and sometimes when I play, there is someone else in the room and I very much dislike having conversations with people while someone is watching what I'm typing. It is just... a quirk with me, I don't like peeps watching me talk to people. So, if said family member is in the room with me, I say very little if anything.

[LungTien Temeraire]

Everyone do as he wishes.
I'd just say that, personally, when i say "hi" or "hello" in a channel, it is directed at everyone there. Like Frith-Rae, I consider the istarian community as a friendly community, and I don't bother about to know or not to know, I greet and, when I see them around my character, often buff everyone I meet.

[Frith-Rae]

Ahh if I see you in character, you WILL get a greeting in /say...

Many miss it, though they may see it a few minutes later - lol. And I get tells back all the time. But always I greet in person when I see another .

And Dhalin, I know we don't "KNOW" each other, but I consider you one of my buddies - just cuz I've 'known' you for so long lol. Though I do understand the whole typing while someone is reading - my hubby tries to do that and it drives me NUTS. "Don't read while I'm typing!"

[LOVWYRM]

I heard you all, and I surely respect everyone`s opinion.

This issue is a very personal one.
So this is my opinion:

Greeting each other is a measure that connects people.
Its as old as mankind itself. Even most of the animals do.
Greeting means to accept someone in your direct environment.
Being greeted means you are recogniced, acepted or even welcome.
Its an essential tool for socializing.
The opposite of greeting is ignore.
Concerning Istaria- we claim to have a wonderful communty.
So I love to spend some time to greet the people in the different channels I`m in. Or find some nice words for the people in the different channels.
Does not matter if I know them (all).
Its naturally for me.
Its more than acquired politeness. Its more than empty phrases,
cause I like the people I play with. I`m happy to see them.
It might take some gaming time away from me that I greet them, or say goodnight. But they all are worth it, not only my friends.

I remember my first day on Blight: They all greeted me welcome, called me by my name- though we never met before. That made me very happy and made me smile.
Or- whenever I go to Chaos (which I do seldom enough )-
Those great people from CrimsonDawn Channel greet me friendly with more than only a "hello". Makes me feel that I`m still part of this community, and that I`m still welcome there. That warms my heart.

All in all: I do not understand those who come and go like they were alone here, or only communicate with selected people.

edit: Dhalin, I was talking in general- did not refer to your post. I do understand:-)

[Shinkuu]

I really do not have any channels open besides Guild and Main. Sometimes if I am bored or it looks too empty I will swing by New Players and see if anyone might need help I could provide but most of the time it is good.

I have had the RP channel open for a bit recently but I think in all honesty I am going to close it. Rarely is anything going on there and RP without context tends to suck (which of course is probably why little is going on there LOL). Add that with some rude folks and I'll stick to Guild.

The only other time I could say Hello is in NT but considering it is Dragon Dramaroma I usually just ignore Local Chat near there altogether and keep moving. (Honestly been strongly considering turning off "Local" chat altogether as well seems how I basically NEVER use it and just sticking strictly to Guild, Group, and Tells for Conversation/RP)

[Shinkuu]

Here's my thoughts on this:

I'm a person who... shall I say... does not have very many friends IRL. In fact, the number of non-coworkers, non-relatives I know and *routinely* interact with, is a whopping...

Zero.

Yes, yes, I'm one of *those* people whose life is 98% online. And even online, I'm one of those "Alone in a crowd" people. I'm not really the kind of person to open up to anyone quickly or easily (unless there is luck involved, or the other person approaches). I wouldn't call myself rude or anti-social, though.

Just because I don't approach others, and reach out doesn't mean I don't welcome such things being done to me.

Either way, be that as it may, I tend to not really say anything to anyone when I log on -- I don't really *know* anyone in Istaria. I've talked a little to a few peeps here, but to actually say I *know* them... that's going a bit far.

If someone says "hello" in a chat channel and I don't respond... it isn't because of rudeness, lack of "warmth", or anti-socialness. It is more, it wasn't directed at me directly kinda thing.

That, and sometimes when I play, there is someone else in the room and I very much dislike having conversations with people while someone is watching what I'm typing. It is just... a quirk with me, I don't like peeps watching me talk to people. So, if said family member is in the room with me, I say very little if anything.

I SO understand where you are coming from with the bolded part there... If someone says "Hello" without directing it at anyone and there is a lot of people it could go to I will ALWAYS expect it is meant for someone besides me 100% of the time unless it is a very close friend or my mate.

So of course like you I always fail to respond to it as I just expect someone else to answer it as it was directed at them. Lung even caught me on RP Channel and said "Hi" or "Hello" at one point and I think I EVENTUALLY greeted back but I was confused as to rather or not I was being spoken to.

[Shinkuu]

All in all: I do not understand those who come and go like they were alone here, or only communicate with selected people.

Just to answer that for ME and people more of My mindset. (because I do not want to assert that my answer to that ponderance applies to the majority or everyone)

There are many reasons someone may act practically oblivious to others. For me sometimes it is that I am very busy trying to quest or grind something up and cannot take the time to pay attention to anyone else. This goes double if I need to leave soon.

I may also be busy with Guild RP or Guild Chat and cannot effectively juggle whatever else I am doing, the aforementioned, AND dealing with another conversation ontop of it.

I do not assume things are directed at me unless otherwise stated so I may tend to ignore anything directed at a crowd because I do not believe it is directed at me. In this case I would feel like a jerk if I responded because that would be like saying that "Obviously you are talking to ME. You would not be talking to anyone else!" when there is no reason I should believe that.

Sometimes if I am in a particularly bad mood I will refrain from interacting with anyone...(better to say nothing at all as the saying goes) Mostly this is a stop gap measure. I do not want to infect other people with my bad mood because they have done nothing to cause it.

At times I ... find I MUST ignore someone's existence. Either because A) They get clingy to me and pester me too much or B) because in an RP sense I find their character... too implausible to suspend my disbelief for. In case B I am not the sort who is going to bother to tell them that I will just try to avoid acknowledging them. (thankfully that has only sort of happened once so far)

The last reason, and I am SURE this one comes up and is a good argument FOR greeting people and trying to reach out to them, is that if you try to get involved or are partially involved in the conversation but then are otherwise ignored or blatantly insulted it tends to make people hesitant to care to interact with anyone in the future. The question becomes "Why bother?" especially if you have a group you are familiar with that you can interact with (essentially private) then why waste your time trying to get involved with the rest of the Server when it is likely to go nowhere or worse get you snubbed? I have seen it happen and honestly I cannot think of a good argument for them to NOT move everything to Private and essentially consider the rest of us to not exist from that point on.

The last argument is so good that I am highly considering adopting it myself. Of course the counter argument that when all the RP'ers and otherwise "Warm" folks go Private it leaves all the New Players out in the Cold is a rather Valid one. So I am frankly very divided at the moment on that subject but leaning heavily towards the Privatization argument, ESPECIALLY for RPing.

[LungTien Temeraire]

I SO understand where you are coming from with the bolded part there... If someone says "Hello" without directing it at anyone and there is a lot of people it could go to I will ALWAYS expect it is meant for someone besides me 100% of the time unless it is a very close friend or my mate.

So of course like you I always fail to respond to it as I just expect someone else to answer it as it was directed at them. Lung even caught me on RP Channel and said "Hi" or "Hello" at one point and I think I EVENTUALLY greeted back but I was confused as to rather or not I was being spoken to.

As I said, when I say "hi" or "hello" on a channel, it means I'm greeting everyone in the channel, whoever is there.

I think that to go away because having said "hello" on a channel and having been blamed is sad, because nobody should be blamed for that.There should be no problem to join a discussion in a public channel. As I said, I know some can be afk, busy,...
I'm with you, Lovwyrm
And the choice to greet or not belongs to everyone, of course. Some still reply to questions, or to help. We're just expressing our thoughs.