Journal of Many

[Sereamha]

*this is a mess, as if written while walking*


Well my life has been hectic.

Of course, when is it NOT?

Most of my time has been consumed with me trying to not...consume....people. Heh, perhaps I should have thought of a better way to put that. Oh well. Nihil and I have been going through quite a few spats with each other and this in turn makes those shadows be a little more difficult to control...and to keep fed. Note: must fill up soon. I know Nihil hates those solid dragon soul shards that Saphire keeps, but it is better than nothing. We did ONCE achieve a total agreement on a subject though, and that was a little amazing and terrifying to go through.

I can only describe the sensation as...my body became one with the shadows. My movement was absolutely unhindered by anything like a 'body' and my ability to dodge and move was akin to water....it...was like I had no bones. Granted, once I returned to normal I grew incredibly ill later in the day due to the stresses on my body, but it was still an interesting happening to say the least.

In other news, Iseia is awake again. She...has grown. THAT makes no sense....but I suppose after all the horrible mutations Zarla put her through I shouldn't be that amazed. She had the unfortunate luck of running into me when Nihil was flaring a bit....I hope I did not offend her too terribly.

Finally, seems Greer made a rather bold move against Saphire; he actually sent archers after her with poisoned arrows. Potent stuff too. No permanent harm done, though it seems to have damaged her ability to recall. As it stands, I am out on a path at the moment hiking to Aughendell to see if I can pick her up some travel scrolls.....just in case.

[Sereamha]

*quickly recorded, almost just like a note*


I thought that perhaps I should make a note here of a recent happening in my life.

I....have met someone and....I can't help but think that Dimmae's essence must be mixed within her somewhere. They look almost identical when they take human form. Their mannerisms are more than similar and they were even drawn to me when they were rather stand-offish with others.

Kiara is her name. An...odd dragon, to be sure, a mix-breed. She and I have been having many talks in private at her lair and at my house and.......the more we speak the more I am convinced of my rather outlandish idea. .......I fear that something is going to blow up in my face and this whole thing will end up spelling the end to my sanity, but I must press forward and see where this leads.

What's sanity, anyway?

[Sereamha]

*penned slowly and rather neatly*


The phylactery installation worked it seems....I now have a space to store the shadows when needed. So far, no side-effects.....I hope it stays that way since I now am going under cover to infiltrate Greer's society since Saphire ran off and decided to most likely get herself hurt...or captured. I worry for her, and this is the only way I can put my mind at ease. Hopefully my actions will not worry Kiara unduly.

Kiara and I have continued spending time together and.....I have honestly developed feelings for her. I ...just ...worry, because I have told her so. Have I lowered the cleaver that rests above her neck? All who I have told this...their lives have spun into disaster. Perhaps I should not have said anything...but...it just sort of escaped my lips.

I hope things end up well...I really...really do.

[Sereamha]

*slowly written with a few ink stains*

To say that a massive amount of things have happened is a bit of an understatement.

Thanks to my new phylactery in my chest, I was able to hide my shadows. My mask illusion allowed me to seem as a somewhat normal elf, and therefore I was able to successfully infiltrate the ranks of the Cabal that captured Saphire.

The humans I met at the pub did not seem to like me too much, but using the self-important attitude of my father I was able to convince them that I was indeed a great dragonslayer. Seems they were short a few people since Saphire has killed a few, so they led me to the mountain in which Greer had one of his black markets.

It was just about what you would expect: caged creatures, bidding, arena fights, shady merchandise. Poor Saphire was in a huge adamantium cage, chained with massive bolts and her eyes were covered. Poor thing was also surrounded by dragon's bane. I had to get her out, but I needed a plan.

Acting the part, I demanded to see Greer so I could get the testing underway that I would need to join the Cabal. The human.....was frustrating to deal with, but agreed that if I could incapacitate Saphire in an arena match, he would let me join.

SO, later in the evening I faced her and we put on a good show. Enough so that when it looked like I was about to be destroyed, Greer stepped in quite snobbily, prepared to show me just how this sort of thing should be done properly. The plan was then set in motion.

Not really injured, I attempted to assault the human but unfortunately his guard rooted me first. Saphire went after him next....I really thought the two of us could take him, and I think we could, if he did not have his blasted guards. Despite our efforts....the wretch escaped through a teleportation scroll and left us to fight off his guards, which we did.

It was my fault that he escaped, I did not come equipped with the right items needed for a true spirit binding or anchoring spell. ....

Anyway, after long planning and barring ourself using sheets of ice, Saphire and I finally broke through the insanity and managed to escape. Before we were out the door though, Saphire pinned a mage and he blurted out some information that I find rather unsettling.

Seems Greer was speaking about targeting Crimson...my little adoptive hatchling...in payment for what I tried to do to him. I...don't know how to keep the little guy safe from the human...but....I will die trying.

[Zarkanix]

So upon suggestions last night I decided to read this today, I started some time this morning (10am or so) and I just got done reading through the whole thing (now 5pm, I took a few short breaks and one long one to pick up a basic journal book) and I've gotta say... this is the mark of a true role-player! Thank you Mint! I feel... inspired? Yes, inspired would describe it well, to become an even better role-player.


~Ban'niet Rei'lert

[Sereamha]

(Wow, thank you so much for your comment, Bann I appreciate it a lot! Need to do the next entry if I ever find the time @_@ )

[Sereamha]

*another rather neatly penned entry*

I noticed I have not mentioned a rather...important happening in my life. I simply have not had the time to write about it, but perhaps now, relaxing in the clearing and under a tree, I will.

Kiara and I are now fully together...we pledged to each other in front of her father, but it was quite an ordeal reaching that stage.

It seems she is the daughter of an alpha of a break-away sect of dragons that reside on an island roughly the size of Drakul. I had no idea that being together with her would mean that -I- would take on the role of alpha and therefore lead this...pack of dragons.

I told her I am fully willing to be with her, but I would NEVER lead dragons like that. I am just not cut out for it...especially since I have butchered and eaten their freaking babies. Nihil absolutely loved the idea, which was more reason for me to resist it.

Kiara...got the idea that because I would not agree to be a leader, that she could not be with me and actually attempted to kill herself once she was alone with her father. Through an unfortunate way of travel, I was able to go there and stop her before she did it. Some father, he was just going to let her do it...I rather dislike the beast quite a bit.

This all took place in her father's main lodging area, which would be more described as a palace, I guess. Not sure I agree with THAT either. Why would an alpha have a palace and everyone else have holes in the wall?

Anyway, I....eventually agreed to at least take the title in name only. I did not want Kiara suffering like that.

After that rather frightening episode, it was made known to the entire...'pack' that Kiara and I have pledged to each other, as they term it. Her father gave me some...sort of...spirit essence...drug thing that made me quite elated during the whole thing. I literally could not feel...sad or upset about anything. Odd, to say the least, but enjoyable.

So....I feel as if I...have a piece of Dimmae back in an odd way now that Kiara and I are officially mates, though I won't tell Kiara that of course. It IS how I feel though...and it brings me a large measure of peace.

I look forward to having Kiara meet with Crimson...I know they will get along splendidly.

[Sereamha]

*very shakily penned and blotchy*


And so it has happened....just as I feared it would.

While I was in the public clearing that I so often frequent, I felt a ....presence that was oddly familiar. Shadows...I saw shadows swirling amoung the trees and the grass and...it felt like they were almost calling to me. Unsure, I reached to touch them if I could, just to....confirm what I feared and yet what I hoped for. They caressed my hand....lovingly.

Dimmae. It was her. The shadows actually formed her vague human shape, though it was clear it was not going to last. She was a...dark..spirit of somesort, unable to truly touch me or even speak to me. Out of desperation, I convinced Nihil to work with me so I could take my Spirit Form...and it agreed.

Both spirits now, she was able to touch my cheek as she always used to....but...her eyes were full of immense pain. She then vanished quickly after she had stared at me....almost devouring me with her eyes. I ...of course released my Spirit Form then.

The agony in my soul, what's left of it, was and is unbearable. -I- am likely torturing my love, Dimmae.....I...honestly thought she was gone and dead and had resettled in Kiara. Perhaps she DID die...and has now returned as a revenant spirit to haunt my dreams and have me submit to Nihil just to get the pain to stop.

I...am tempted to do so, I will not lie. But...I am then reminded that I DO care about Kiara...and she has expressed such deep love for me that if I were to even consider backing away from her...I feel she would kill herself.

So now...I am caught and doomed to butcher the feelings of at least one of the people who I care for deeply.

I just want Kiara and Dimmae to have happiness....and peace. I will pay what I have to in order for that to come true.

[Sereamha]

*this is very messy, even for Niveus. Ink stains make some of the entry difficult to read*

It...is getting more difficult for my mind to stay on one avenue now. I can't focus, I just can't.

I think of one thing, I think of a million things. I wish I could rip my brain out sometimes.

Dimmae...saw her spectre again. I saw it, I did. Others did too and they kept talking. Stupid people, shut up, just shut up.

Part of Dimmae's essence touched the thing in my chest...the phylactery, yes, and actually spoke to me internally. All she said is that I "have the key." I begged her ...asking why she was like this, why she was so sad...why she was here..I...asked if it was about Kiara. She shook her head no, and just repeated, "the key" and pointed at my chest before she vanished again.

Istara help me, I am losing it....and IT is very important, whatever IT is. Since when people lose IT, things tend to go awry.

All I need now is my father to burst in and start trying to kill me again and the stew of insanity that is my life shall be complete with all its rich, spicey stewness.

[Sereamha]

*this entry is incredibly neat and....rather still*


There has been a decent amount of time lapsed from my last entry until now....forgive me. Of course, this is assuming a piece of paper can forgive.

I will not cover all that has happened to me as of late, but I will write of what is most pressing upon my mind.

I died...yet again at the claws of a dragon and was brought back by my dear friend Azaraen. She is becoming more and more like a...nature spirit and I am becoming less and less like an elf. How very odd, yet interesting at the same time. I am just very happy she was able to aid me in repairing my spirit when I returned, despite the odd birds that seem to follow me everywhere now. At least Kiara does not seem to mind them.

My time with Kiara thus far has been splendid and verging upon euphoric. I....find myself feeling utterly guilt ridden due to this though, and I do not think there is any way to stop it.

Dimmae has fully returned and has a body of flesh and bone. HOW, I do not entertain to know. She...said she has been watching me, I suppose as a spirit, and has been aware of everything I have been doing. The sadness on her face when she said that was akin to a dagger through my heart.

She says that she is....just happy that I am happy. That........is nice to know, but I know her to be distorting the truth at least the smallest bit. The expression of longing on her face that I catch now and again betrays her words. She even still wears the....wedding ring I gave her so long ago.

I would be happy if she were happy, yet she is not. I see no way to bring her peace and happiness and this vexes me terribly. I...am just fortunate that I have friends to speak of this to.....if i did not, I fear another slew of murders would arise in Istaria.