Okay, so today I went to work, and as per usual Thursday, the new magazines came in, including the tabloids.
Now, everyone knows that Tabloids can only be taken with a grain of salt; probably half of what is in said tabloids aren't even true.
Anyways, one of them (Star, I think?) had a huge picture of Lindsay Lohan in tears, with this... absolutely terrifying face of pure, utter agony. Actually I looked twice, because at first I thought she was laughing, but then I saw her eyes, and I'm like "eeew, what did they _do_ to her!? Did they kill her mother right in front of her eyes or something?"
Here it turns out that Ms. Lohan is in a suicidal state over going to jail. Why is she going to jail? I think I read once, I forget... something about alcohol abuse, even though she was a minor at the time? Drunken and Disorderly? Showing up late for a court hearing? Maybe the other gazillion things she's done wrong since she got her (in)fame?
Anyways, I decided to take a look at this magazine while I was on break. I figured, hey, prisons are bad. If I learned I was going to go to jail tomorrow, I'd be pretty dang scared myself. Not that I would ever do anything to actually go to jail in the first place, but eh. That's another topic.
Anyways, I flip through the magazine, enjoying the various images of half-naked girls (I'm a guy IRL), and "eeewing" at other half-naked girls who are actually very ugly (esp the 80-lb 'see your skeleton' waifs), then I finally got to the cover story.
There's this image of a pretty clean room. Small, but clean. A bed that looked quite pristine, cement floor and walls. Not the flies-buzzing-around-stained toilet "eeew" that many prisons are pictured having. and then I was reading that she'd have to eat milk and cereal in the morning, and basic foods for lunch and supper... that's not so bad, is it? They feed you for free! They also give her an hour to go out and stretch her legs for awhile, etc.
Waking up at 5:30 AM kinda blows, but oh well. I did that for awhile in the Marine Corps bootcamp. You get used to it after the first few days, and its not like they make you do anything physically exhausting or scary in prison (well, other than the r*pe and the fear of such that goes on in prison these days).
So I'm reading this, and I'm thinking "um... okay...." then I got to the part....
Did I mention that she was going to jail for
NINETY DAYS!?
Seriously, 90 days? 3 Months?
Lemme get this straight...
They are sending Ms. Lohan to the cleanest dang prison I've ever seen photos of, a place that sounds like it was built especially for high-fame people just like her (which should give her a fairly nil chance of getting r*ped, she's more in danger of that just by clubbing than she ever would be in prison), and she's only going to be there for ninety-freaking-days.
Honestly.
Seriously, Ms. Lohan? Grow the heck up. Grab the nearest tabloid and look up a guy named Joran van der Sloot. Seriously, did you see the prison that he was sent to? What he had to do (that I can't even mention in a forum like this...) to ensure his safety from the other inmates? You're getting off easy compared to something like that.
People who do the crap you've done usually get Five years or more. In nastier prisons.
We didn't tell you to go drinking underage and get caught. We didn't tell you to completely waste your life and fortune on clubbing. We didn't tell you to be irresponsible more than once, and wind up in jail. You did the crime, just be an adult and do the time instead of threatening to commit suicide over ninety-freaking-days.
As for the rest of Hollywood, I think the Feds should step in. Make every "celebrity" take a urine test, and if any drugs are found, ship em off to jail. In fact, regular, impromptu urine tests should be required by law in movie production. We need to clean up Hollywood once and for all, then maybe we'll actually start getting some decent movies, when actors will be actors because they want to be actors instead of seeing it as a fast-track to getting rich and having lots of parties.
/rant