Zarla's Journal of Life

[Shinkuu]

(This is journal is written with a larger tool like a Rune Stylus but seems still to be done in good hand)

I have been through quite a journey. My soul grew cold from lack of love it seems. I slowly died inside. Trying to hold up the world on my shoulders was too much to ask of one lonely soul. I lost my energy and even my powerful soul could not continue...

I froze inside and shed my body in order to protect and stay near Mintshade... My one truest friend. I spent what seems to me now like forever with him... I watched over him and protected his mind. Then my soul decided it should bring my flesh back and try again but it was not so easy as it thought.

I came back a horrid mess. I was frozen... Bitterly cold on the inside. My flesh was cracked and broken with frost bite, my blood was ice, my eyes were spheres of ice that did not work, my wings broke off. I was a horrible mess of a creature barely alive at all but very strong in my own dull icey way.

I have since reverted to Khutite form and find that this smaller body is easier to keep warm. I still feel the cold inside. My soul is not what it once was. It is no longer the flaming spawn of Drulkar. It is just a cold cinder of its former self waiting to either be snuffed out or reignited. I fear my eternal end may be coming but I am struggling to stay lit. I fear what I really am is nothing more than a gift from the Gods to a struggling Sslik who lost their children. That I was there to make what I call my "Mother" happy because she was a good person and lost her eggs to the Spiders. I fear this because it was my departure to avenge my "Father's" death that lead to Her death. Me and my Sister died and did not return to the world until months later and Mother feeling she had lost everything all over again died of heart break...

If that is my true nature I failed. If that was my goal in existing then I am a failure of epic proportion. If that is my nature then there is no point in me continuing to exist and I will soon be snuffed out I am sure. Mother... I am so sorry Mother... I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to leave you alone... I should have left Tsume to comfort you... I wish I could have told you we were ok.

Failure... It marks my every life event. It haunts me as if we are bound as mates. Whatever I do eventually it ends in failure. Whatever I try to help gets worse. Whatever I try to make falls apart. Whatever I try to accomplish seems to pale. I have defending Lesser Aradoth from the Blighted... It was my only real accomplishment... It seems hollow some how these days.

Mintshade is a good friend to me and he is the only other thing I seem not to make worse. He would not accept my Gift... I wanted to give it to him. He needs it more than this pathetic Soul does. It made me sad that he would not take it... I thought maybe I could do one good thing. One great sacrifice that would really make a big difference... He could do so much with my Gift... However, he would not take it. It seems I could not even do that right. Failure just follows my footsteps and embraces me. What a lovely friend to have... Failure.

However, at least I tend to help Mint for the most part and he seems to really like me. I do not know why I feel so strongly for him. It is not that I want to make him my mate... It sounds funny because he is an elf but I think of him like an older brother for some reason. I want to be close to him like family is close. I want to comfort him and make things better for him so he can be happy. I love hearing him cackle and seeing him smile.

I am spending time in Sslanis to grow stronger in my Soul. The people there remember me and my Sister and many really love us for helping to defend them and taking their Rite of the Hunter. They make me warmer inside. I could take a Sslik as a mate without a problem. I wish I could find the right one...

Shinkuu visited me. She seemed softer than usual and apologized for trying to hurt my Soul a lot. It helped me to feel warmer inside and she actually hugged me. It is a bit rare for Shinkuu to be so affectionate so I took that gesture to heart deeply. She is a tortured soul too. She is on the edge of Oblivion most of the time and her heart struggles HARD to keep her from bowing to the Void and becoming a monster more frightening than all the Aegis combined. The Blighted aggravate her situation and those who succumb to the Blight and let it have their Souls really angers her and flares up that Void inside. I fear some day she will finally snap and go all the way over the edge as she almost did. Be Strong Shadina... You are the only thing keeping that poor Saris woman from falling into a darkness so deep that nothing ever returns.

Well I need to wrap up this journal and my wrist is getting tired. This stylus thing is a bit bulky but it seems to work ok.

[Shinkuu]

I had tea with my Minty again! It was nice to have tea with him again. It has been forever and it warmed me a lot. It seems odd how much warmth it really gave me. I had to summon the fire to make the water hot which was hard but oddly the tea warmed me more than what I had expended...?

Maybe it was the nature of it. It is a loving gesture from a good friend who always used to make it for me. Remembering the Tea made me better inside. I am getting slowly warmer and stronger thanks to my friends.

The Tea was STRONG this time though because it was allowed to brew too long. It tasted good but the cats were busy doing odd things to Minty. His fingers were kind of half-phased out of existence and they put them back together and gave him some almost Sslik-like claws though a bit shorter and sharper... Those claws looked a bit wicked all ethereal and such but otherwise it was not so bad.

It was weird how they fixed his hands too. Shinkuu had Shadina help her by sewing together like Ethereal thread with her claws. Shink made it so Shadina could work on the Ethereal plane and let her do most of the work. It was weird to watch and I do not think I could learn to do that in a million years.

Shadina felt worthless because she could not help Mint's hands with just her magic but it turns out she helped him anyway... I know how she feels though. I always feel like I am not strong enough in some way. I am always too weak or do not know the right things... It is like no matter what I want to do when it comes to helping others I am always one card short.

I wish she would not feel that way though. Shinkuu seems to love her very deeply and I think she must be really awesome at her healing and nature stuff. She totally fixed Mint's hand that got taken off... by something?... I think a Dragon bit it off but he never did tell me what happened to it. I am still SO grateful he is not scared of me because another Dragon hurt him... That is how I know he is a true friend. If he was scared of me I would have cried for days... I do not want my friends being afraid of me ever and honestly I do not like making anyone scared of me unless they are bad people.

I love my Mintshade... He is such a dear and close friend. He is a bit of an anchor for me in this crazy world and maybe he helps keep me alive and well despite all my problems against it... I slept with my head in his lap for awhile after that strong tea all but knocked me out but it felt so good... I slept like a hatchie.

Shinkuu tells me that she wants me to help Dae fight some bad Dragons... I do not want to. I am not sure what to think about Dae... She seems questionably stable or trustworthy. I hate fighting dragons... Shink obvious forgets how much I tend to suck at it. I know what she is thinking but until my soul gets strong again I am not sure how much help I will be against those Blighted Monsters. That IS what they are, Monsters, not Dragons.

[Shinkuu]

(The writing here seems clear and crisp as if the writer were in fine control of their stylus but the letters are still large and a little bulky)

I have been searching high and low for love and feeling left in the cold. So cold I all but died inside. My soul froze over and nearly fell into darkness forever.

I still have many questions about myself. What am I? Where did I really come from? Am I a Dragon? Am I a Sslik in a Dragon's Body? Am I something else entirely?

It is hard to know these things considering my circumstances and I am sad to still be without such a close companion... How could I ever find such though? No Dragon will be mated to one who does not even know if they are a Dragon or not. No Sslik would want to deal with someone who did not know if they were Sslik or not.

There is a good side though. My sister is back with me... She was torn up by all that had happened and that I had not turned to her so long ago. I cried against her as I realized the one person who loved me the most deeply I was neglecting. The Sisters are back together! Our fires reignited! My Soul burns brightly from our unity and nothing will stand in my way again. The Blight will be burned away like the cancer it is.

I have only two missions in existence now... Be and Example of a GOOD Dragon that Drulkar could respect and to Annihilate all the Blight everywhere in Istaria once and for all.

[Shinkuu]

(Written in a bold style mostly due to size of letters but also with more confidence it seems)

I have envied Shinkuu for her strength for a long time. I have felt like a loser who cowered before any I thought was too strong for me while she seems to meet every challenge with the same cold indifference. Well that is no more.

I was talking to Mintshade and the Aegis Selarth showed up. It was my test, a real test to see if I could do it and I past. I ignored him like the insignificant loser he is. I do not always have to care about the Aegis or any others who want to interfere with me. If they attack me I will fight them. If they kill me, I will rip them apart on my way out and then be reborn. Such is the Gift. I have no fear of anyone or anything anymore. I am not afraid of pain for I have not felt it since my Soul stopped tormenting me. I am not afraid of Blight for I am not Blightable. I am not afraid of Evil for I am not and will never be. I am not afraid to die, for I have done so more than most can count.

If I am threatened I will bite, claw, and burn my threatener even if they end up killing me I will make them feel HORRIBLE pain before I fall and I may return to torment them like a never relenting Revenant. They will have to live every waking moment being tormented by me and every time they wish to sleep I shall yet torment them. I will be their undoing ripping apart their very SANITY as I NEVER give up. They will NEVER know peace so long as I burn.

Hopefully however, I do not find the need for such a new mission in life. Such would be somewhat boring though I may take a certain dark satisfaction in slowly widdling away someone's sanity until they all but BEG me to end their existence. Is that Evil? Well then so be it, perhaps there is cruelty in my heart yet. Perhaps, I have been around Evil so long I have a touch within me. However, I am tired of being the weak one and I shall not allow it anymore. If the Rite of Passage taught me anything valuable besides "Have very powerful friends and be very glad you are Gifted" it was "Never, EVER, Give up under any circumstances. Keep being a pain in the Tail forever if you must.".

I am still sorting out the "What are you?" question. I guess I was ONCE a Dragon and my Spirit is still that. However, I do not live anymore so perhaps I am these days a Revenant a spirit bent on the destruction of those who created it. I exist perhaps like Shinkuu to destroy the Aegis and all the Blight of the world once and for all.

Mintshade tells me I will find a mate... He does not understand... There is no MATE for THIS thing that I am... I am not a creature of flesh and bone. I am a Spirit of Raging Fire that deems it necessary to incarnate flesh for the time being. There is no room for a mate in this inferno that is my Soul. I have my Sister and that is all I will ever have. Who needs a mate anyway? None would DARE take me as their mate. They are far too afraid of me and far too locked into their beliefs to even see me.

I fear Nothing and ONLY Nothing...

[Shinkuu]

Me and my Sister Tsume were back together in the field once again. We were charged with the destruction of the Nix Beetles in the far away lands of Trandalar by one of the Chiconis Trainers before they would teach us to improve our Technique with Gold Rage. They always test you to make sure you do not NEED their help before they train you. I call it lazy and annoying but it will not be long before we are done doing their stupid tests for awhile.

It was a long hard battle and the land was bitter cold. I was buried up to my knee in many places due to how hot my body is. I kept melting through the snow as I battled the wicked little ice beetles. They were tough as glaciers but not that dangerous. The horrible cold was far more deadly than they were.

As it was I tore into the Beetles hard shells while my Sister sent them Flying with powerful Primal Bolts of Energy. We smacked them around and crushed them into the icy surface of the land while melting their shells with our powerful Fire Breathes.





Me and my Sister snuggled together quite a bit while we waited for more beetles to show up. We were fighting to stave off the Frost Bite but thankfully we are two Hot Blooded Women so a good round of cuddles goes a long way to stay toasty. I think we could have really used some Biped-like clothing for a trip like this.




Dragoness,Istaria,Fire,Beetle,Female,MMORPG
After the fighting I made Tsume an even more powerful pair of Claw Gauntlets that I hope will really help her in her Spell Casting. We are a very formidable pair and I doubt there is much we cannot do together.

While Daemonar and her Sister Cynny are a pair seemingly of opposites in the worst way me and Tsume are only opposite in how we choose to fight. We are true Sisters in Blood and Spirit and fight together like a well oiled Gnomish Automaton. We strengthen each other and compliment one another beautifully showing the true Pride of Heart of Dragon Kind in our battles!

[Shinkuu]

(This journal is written a little bit frantically)

I saved someone? I have waited so long to ACTUALLY do something useful! I have waited forever to ACTUALLY really help someone! Now I have done it!

Drulkar be Praised as I came into my favorite clearing at just the right moment to see the next Elial taken Dragon form, Azu, and her pet Aegis Monster Selarth descending upon an innocent hatchie I had spoken to earlier. My timing could NOT have been more precise. It was as if Drulkar himself guided me there this day!

I sent a Reach attack down at the Vile Azu and grabbed the terrified Hatchie and flew her off at my usual intense speeds far far from her assailants. I promised to come back for that Wretch Azu but sadly the Hatchie was so shaken up I needed to stay with her and it seems that TOO was all but deemed to be by Drulkar. I will KILL Azu but it was not for today...

As I cuddled and protected the hatchie some ghost like creature attempted to go through my wings to attack her. I cannot express my ... satisfaction to have heard a momentary wail of pain from it. It ran smack into my boiling, seething, raging Soul which burned it viciously and repelled it the way someone would jump off a bonfire. The attack scared the little hatchie named Talika but I took her away to my home.

Even now I can see her sleeping soundly safe from harm with all of the Scions protecting her and her friend Greenflame looking out for her as well. I will not allow her to live in terror. I will sooth her and have Mintshade help if need be.

I had renewed my faith in what I felt was the way a proper Dragon Daughter or Son of Drulkar would be, a creature of Compassion, of Bravery, of Thought, and of Passion in all they do, and I have been rewarded for my faith! I will continue to live by these principles and be a TRUE Dragon more than any of these pathetic wretches that made the great Patron of Flame leave in disgust.


Me and Tsume renewed our commitment to this ideal by learning more of Dragon's Reach and... even learning the latest Drain Bolt created by that odd Lunus of the Ice. Honestly... The man means well but he is a bit silly. His Drain Bolts do Primal Damage not the ever Dreaded Spirit Damage and they are pathetically weak compared to the Spiritist Magics I was told to fashion to learn the Bolt. It is fortunate that I was preparing to fashion Shinkuu's deadly Spiritist magic or I would not have been able to fulfill his requests. However, Shinkuu would laugh at the weakness of Drain Bolt which seems to attack the very fundamental energy structure that holds a Body together rather than the Spirit Within...

[Shinkuu]

I have gone back to train a bit with the Lunus of the Ice up near Kirasanct. Khemarius wanted me to test the resistances of various monsters against Drain Bolt to be taught more. Oddly though it was what he told me that made me feel a bit different about him...

He said that many trainers give very arbitrary assignments to the Dragons before teaching them more and that he felt these tasks which had nothing to do with the skills in question seemed to be a poor way of teaching. He told me he preferred tasks that were related to his research and that would give the student time to think about the subject and learn more thoroughly what he wanted to teach them. Maybe that is why I have an easier time with his Drain Bolts than other magics...

After hearing his teaching style I had a lot more respect for the crazy Lunus of the Ice and I think I shall go back to talk to him a lot more. Maybe he really can teach me some things and I think of ALL the Dragons I have learned anything from I would most like to be taught by him. I rather like him... He is the first Dragon Trainer I have EVER liked at ALL. He is practically the first Dragon Adult or older I have liked at all...


I met Dae in the Clearing today... She had that stupid Orb thing that links her to Cynny out... It was eaten by Asau and no one could seem to get it out of her. Nyokko was ripping on them for it because two adults could not seem to get an Orb out of one hatchie. Honestly, it was a rip well deserved even if I generally find her opinions to be worthless at best. I was not so easily beaten though, I opened her mouth and created a Vacuum right inside her jaws and put pressure to her stomach. The result? Blaaarg... POP!... And there was the orb. I healed her afterward to make sure she was not injured by my magics but it was out easy as pie.

I was VERY tempted to kill the Orb... It was Blighted and my Soul roasted my flesh as it willed its power to my body wanting very badly to fry the Blight in the Orb... But it could have killed Dae if I had done that and I would not do that to Minty's Mate. So reluctantly I gave it back to Dae and healed the wounds my Soul gave me.

Me and my Sister have been making huge progress. I have been making new upgraded spells for us. We have been learning all sorts of abilities and growing stronger by leaps and bounds. We are a very well oiled killing machine when we put our minds to it. Our strategy is flawless and we annihilate all comers with ease. No more running scared, no more defenseless hatchies getting slaughter at the behest of Trainers, no more being Weak. We are deadly and fiercesome! My claws rend flesh and armor like hot knives through butter while her Primal Blasts pound foes into dust one hammering blow after the other.

Where once our theme music would have been a dirge now our music would be a relentless and excited march as we move ever onward with no sign of stopping or slowing. Nyokko and others whine, wait, and watch but I am done with such lame exercises. I am now going to DO.

[Shinkuu]

Well I just had a fight with the dragon Drysten and I can honestly say it was... Disappointing... Oddly Relieving... and Awesome all at once.

I remember Drysten from when I was a hatchling training hard to become an adult. He always wore heavy metal weights to help him get stronger and be more powerful when they were finally removed. I admired his spirit and will to strive hard to become strong and always thought we could fight side by side against the Aegis some day...

I was wrong, it seems, however as today me and him fought against one another. He works for the Wretch Azu which by itself is a crime I would almost not tolerate but he does not do any of her corrupting or evil himself from what I can tell. What he DOES do is guard her Biped slaves and that is NOT acceptable. He CLAIMS they are treated well and given a good life but I doubt Azu knows what a good life for a Biped is and Slavery is Slavery. You cannot be truly happy knowing you could be Free. He does admit they are slaves but despite giving him the chance he could not repent and help to free them or just leave Azu's employment.

So... I had to kill him. It was the only option left. I cannot abide Slave owners no matter what. My Father would roll in his grave if I accepted a Slaver and did nothing to put them to their end. So we clashed in battle that must have been nothing short of epic.

I tried to gold rage him but he shoulder rushed me and only took one blow as he impaled himself on my Spike Scales. I tried to bite him only to get a mouthful of his weighted collar and then I blasted his face with flame. He had some potent ice armor on his scales that helped to protect him from this a bit. I backed off as he tried to hit me with Silver Strike and I nailed him with a Dragon's Reach. Then I sucked all the air out of his location as he got rid of his weights amping up his speed considerably. The vacuum he was in hurt him badly popping blood vessels in his eyes and insides. He survived this though and surprised me with a sudden rush in at me laying in with his own Gold Rage. It hurt badly but knowing he could not see well and was a bit desperate I managed to hit him with a very vicious Drain Strike that hit his wing trying to shield it disintegrating parts of it while my claw's crystal activated ripping a bleeding hole in his Soul. He tried to bite me but I kicked him in the chest getting mauled by his Ravage which I took a fair bit on my Golden Shield but it was not enough. I had to go into the air to heal as I was BADLY injured and bleeding. We both healed a bit as I landed and cast Drain Bolt on him. He spread his wings and sent a rushing cold my way with Ice Spears ripping from the ground... I knew I should have gotten out of the way but I was too injured to move fast and I was hoping with his poor vision his aim would be bad leaving me able to fight. I was wrong however because by chance or design the spear when it hit me went right through my heart and while I healed a bit of damage as the Drain Bolt deteriorated his face a bit it could not stop the now intense outpouring of blood. He looked like he may die from the Soul bleed and the internal wounds as I died of blood loss and lack of functional heart...

I have to admit... He fought hard and strong and not like an evil person... I 'THINK' he may have lived thanks to Selarth being there who may have healed him. The Soul damage should not be so potent as to leave him like Shink nor be something he cannot repair with some good rest, food, and perhaps meditation... So I am oddly relieved that he is still alive likely. I wish I could change his mind... But Azu will DIE and then he can give up that bad employment. I am disappointed though that I did not kill him and that my calculated risk ended poorly for me... I am feeling Awesome because it was an INTENSE and very worthy fight... I felt ALIVE while we were locked in combat my fiery soul's passion coursing through my body as I went from attack to attack. It was an AMAZING battle!

I would have gone airborn and used my normal fighting strategy against him but I think it would have been a bit cowardly and while I may have won for certain I guess I still have some respect for Drysten and felt that would be dishonorable. I felt I should stand and fight him the way he could fight back best and really see who had what it took to win. I will not be so generous to Azu for whom I have NO respect.

Tsume will chew me out for not getting her involved to fight by my side but for the same reason of Honor and Respect it would not have been right. Two on One was unfair and unjust in that fight. Selarth was not even interfering and if the Aegis Blightbag was staying out of it then it would be horridly Dishonorable for me to bring in aid.

So... For now I must give Drysten a pass if he survived... He has proven himself in combat and I will not go back on what I told him. He has heart that may yet be worth saving. I will try to save that heart but I will not try to cut it out.

[Shinkuu]

SO much is going on I can hardly keep a handle on any of it. I have to write things down or I will lose most of them in the confusion and chaos of my mind for certain.

Knowing that I must be ready to fight the dreaded Azu and her forces me and Tsume have been working our TAILS OFF. We have been hammering the quests of the Trainers so hard that when a few told us they had nothing left to teach us we practically fell over. It was unbelievable that we were done with them.

We spoke to the dreaded Ancient Valkoth again because we were told he knew of a way to get stronger... I must admit after the Rite of Passage I was not eager to ever see that face again... However, we went... I let Tsume do the talking and he sent us to an odd Dragon near the Spiritus Swamp.

That Dragon made us gather some components so he could make us quite an odd elixir. It was hard to gather the components because we needed a rare silver from the Satyrs and while there was a Satyr that offered to sell us the ore we needed the method for smelting it into bars was much harder than normal silver. He told us he would tell us how to do it for a price... A price of 125 SILVER! We are not made of coin... Far from it and we had to do this on two occasions for two types of Silver... This broke our vault big time. It is HARD to get Silver. The Dragons rarely give us much and the Bipeds rarely do either. No matter what we kill, sell, or do we cannot seem to make much money and we constantly need to buy wickedly priced formulas so we can make the things we need to survive...

That hurt more than the next part honestly. We also needed to get a bone fragment from some Skeletons in the Western Deadlands. That was a tall order for us but we did it with relative grace. Neither of us died or even came that close. We picked them out of their group and hammered them. One even sent my mind into a blur of thoughts and memories for about a minute while Tsume fought him alone but the moment I snapped to I Gold Raged him into oblivion.

With the stuff gathered the Dragon made this stuff he called "White Lightning" and told us to drink it. WOW what a RUSH! That stuff made my head go fuzzy all over again. The Room spun all over the place and I think I got sick for a little bit but once it was over I found I could focus my fiery energies into a powerful blast of Lightning! AWESOME! This breath is way more powerful than my fire breath.

We did a similar thing to enhance our Fire Breath as well and my Fiery Soul really enjoyed getting that upgrade. That elixir tasted wonderful and made me feel very powerful for a time. I would love to drink it again, I really would.

The little hatchling Talika seems to be getting very attached to me and my Sister... I think we have accidentally adopted a Hatchie. I will do my very best to try to provide her a good role model and help her out.

I met this Drake recently who is... an Adult... and very different from any male I have ever known among dragons. He does not seem to be crazy like some, or evil, or lazy... He can be a little prideful at times but I am wondering if he is that way because he does not want to seem weak in front of me... I... I think he really likes me. I am not sure how those things work so I am really a bit uncertain. I kind of like him myself. He is a handsome colorful Drake with a fine build and a good heart but he can be silly sometimes. Maybe some day I will take him for a mate? Maybe me and Tsume will both take him? I cannot imagine sacrificing my relationship with her any.

I had to take a bracelet that was stuck on his arm off today. It was really magically glued there and I could not seem to remove it easily. I worried it was Blighted and... Somehow feeling that the Aegis were trying to hurt this Drake made me REALLY mad... I tried to protect myself with the Armor of the Watcher as my Soul Channeled a Drain Strike... It got the Bracelet off but my Soul STILL hurt me rather badly for it. I think it is official, I just cannot channel it in this body. My Soul is TOO strong and if I channel it in this body it WILL destroy me and I am not sure my Gift can save me from it. I will have to limit channeling it to cleansing Blight and feeding Mintshade, because attacks are too much and will get me killed faster than my enemies can do it.

I talked with Callihan, an Ancient, this Drake friend of mine, and Minty long and hard about the state of the Dragon Species... We have decided that we MUST unite and try to destroy those among us who are truly evil and unsavable. We must save all we can from the Aegis and Darkness. We must make Drulkar proud of us again. We have allowed Darkness and Blight to fill Dragon Kind and this MUST end NOW. Mintshade was very worried about this but I know him. He is a good man and he will help us if we need him. I KNOW he worries for his mate Dae but we will not hurt her. We will make sure she benefits from this as much as anyone else.

Together we Dragons MUST stand up, unite, and remake ourselves into the Honorable people we should be. We should be the shining symbol of Istaria's vitality and strength to be a beacon of Hope for all that the war against the Blight can be won! The Hatchies must be kept safe! The Bipeds must be treated as equals! We must unite ALL of Istaria together and wipe out the enemy once and for all.

It is finally happening... Because I REFUSE to do nothing things are happening. I have been an example of what we CAN do and now it will happen. We will make this world a better place after all.

Selarth, the hunted by Shinkuu and Mintshade, is one who is slated to be slain... I cannot imagine why... but I feel an odd... Remorse in this. From what I know he was an Aegis General or something of the like a true monster, a traitor, everything evil... He does not deserve my pity but... These days he seems rather subdued. Even Shinkuu says he does not act like an Aegis. He is mean, no doubt, but really only when provoked. He is like a Ruxus, big, ill-tempered, and not afraid to do horrible damage to anything that provokes him but if you leave him be he mostly does nothing at all. Azu leads him to do evil... Maybe with her gone he would be honestly neutral and not a problem anymore... That may be out of my hands though.

Time will tell what all this will mean but I will not give up now. We will succeed in remaking the Dragons as a people who's visage brings Hope not Terror.

[Shinkuu]

So I made new claw gauntlets for me and my Sister and a slew of upgraded spells. We fought hard to claim yet another breath and this one I cannot stand to use...

I bet Drysten loves this Breath if he ever got it but Ice Breath for me is horrible. Drinking the contents of the flask it came in, at another 125+ Silver of Expense!... Good thing our friends the Zapscales are generous to us, gave me that horrible cold feeling inside again. It was absolutely horrible and I curled up at the frost bite inside at it. I have been trying HARD to stay warm after fighting in all these cold places and now THIS?

Tsume likes this Breath and she seems to make good use of it but I am not fond of using it... It does make a good combo with my even more powerful fire breath though. She freezes them, I blast them and POP they go.

Mintshade was very critical of my idea to take Vyr, the Drake who likes me, as a Mate... He does not seem to like Vyr much and liked it even less when I suggested he would be both me and my Sister's mate by default.

It is not official by any stretch and Vyr can be a little dorky sometimes but if it DID happen Mint would have little say rather he likes it or not... He just does not understand. Me and Tsume have ALWAYS done EVERYTHING together... For us to try to take separate mates and lives separately is not only hard for us to grasp but would be very confusing and painful for us. We would NOT be happy that way. We will take whatever mate we choose together. Maybe they will be REALLY lucky to have TWO Dragonesses but honestly there are hardly any Drakes around anyway.

Speaking of Drakes I ran into Elder Stars. Seems Selarth killed him when he was a Hatchie and he has hated him ever since and has extended his hand in friendship and aid should I need it. An Ancient like him would be of GREAT help against Azu. I am certainly grateful to see that there ARE good Dragons left who still believe in Drulkar. I hope I can inspire them all to action.

I met up with Mint and Dae in a little secluded Grove today... Poor Mint... He is having such a hard time... Dae's mind is a mess and her link with her Sister only makes that worse. He loves her deeply I can see but he has a hard time reaching out to her and an even harder time pushing Cynny out of the way. Maybe I should have Purified that orb when I had the chance... It would not have killed Cynny but it would have forced her back onto OUR side. How Dae or Mint can claim Cynny, who welcomes the Rot into her Soul and sides with the Aegis who would kill EVERY LIVING THING in Istaria, loves her Sister is beyond me. She would see her Sister die and rot like her... Some LOVE that is. Like how Misery loves company...

I tried to help them out... He is going to HAVE to meddle with her mind and fix her up like he did for me. It is the only way he can get his Dae back... Once that happens maybe they can live together happily. If he needs any help at all for anything I will be there and so will my sister and others. I sincerely hope that he can save Dae and that both of them can be happy... I miss Mint's laugh... I have not heard it in so long...

[BrightCat]

I must say that it is quite fun to read about my own characters in your character's adventures. Makes me feel special. xD But anyways, a good read.

[Romirez]

haha, i was there for Dae's orb event. Romirez's first Cameo!


good read.

[Shinkuu]

I must say that it is quite fun to read about my own characters in your character's adventures. Makes me feel special. xD But anyways, a good read.

Thank you both lol. Zarla only mentions names when she knows who they are which is why some may be left out. However, glad you like reading them and I will keep posting.

If things seem factually odd at any time it may well be because Zarla does not know something and is going by what she perceives as the truth or it may be her personal experience tainting things. These journals are 100% IC so the views in them are as the character would view the situation.

[Shinkuu]

I think the problems between Mintshade and Vyrry are over. However, the reason is something I am starting to regret woefully.

Sometimes I am not very smart and at times my honesty is my own worst enemy. I saw Mintshade feeding Dae by Hand with some fish I had cooked... Then he gave her a warm massage because she had been fighting in the cold... I have heard him laugh and seen his smile come back bigger than ever...

The level of trust the act of feeding her shows... The way he views her as a lady by the way he cares for her with the massage instead of thinking her an invincible beast like most do... These things are heart breakingly sweet and beautiful. While half of my heart soared to heights I did not know it had seeing this... another half froze so deep and solid it shattered and fell to pieces.

We talked a fair bit and I finally told Mint a dark little secret of mine... I wish I had not said anything... I do not know why I told him... I told him that I loved him... What was I thinking? It is true though... He has ALWAYS treated me like a Woman not a Dragon... He has always been so kind to me and he saved my mind... I did not even realize how deep it was until recently but... There it was right in my face.

More over... I seem to understand him better than most anyone... save maybe Shinkuu... I am stable and solid... The sort of thing he really needs in his life. I do not come with baggage of angry parents or crazy siblings or the dark desire to join the Aegis. He seems... drawn to women who seek out dark paths... Maybe they love sympathy... Maybe they just like living in misery but Dimmae and Daemanor both are this way. Dae even more so it seems as I swear she purposefully seeks out bad fates for herself and makes sure she can never be happy or settled. The idea of living a nice happy life for Dae seems practically blasphemous. Mint thinks he destroys everything he touches... I think the ladies he is with destroy everything they touch and then blame him for it...

She does not really seem to fully understand the full ... beauty of what he does for her either... Yet he is happy with this one and it seems at the moment it is working out for them both.

So... as his friend and someone who loves him what am I to do? He is HAPPY... I never see it anymore... I could never bring myself to threaten that. Yet after I let the little secret slip he put this Bracelet on my Horn... It was gold with rubies quite pretty. I think he did it just to cheer me up maybe but my heart wanted it to mean more... I could not bring myself to take it off all day and it distracted me badly.

I was in such an odd mood of tender happiness mixed with frustration and deep sorrow. Then I saw Dae... She was trapped under ground some how... Seems like the sort of problem she would get herself into. I dug her out and realized I could NOT be around her without running the risk of saying something stupid so I left.

Then I ran into Mintshade himself and I was so Nervous I practically had a breakdown. Now I suddenly could not imagine what to say. It was like I could not say anything because the only thing on my mind was a forbidden topic if I did not want to jeopardize our friendship and his happiness. Afterward I felt like I did after the Rites of Passage... Like dying would have been a pretty nice option but I am gifted so oops... Crawling deep inside some mountain and never coming out would almost do it too.

I promised Mint I would always be around though and I cannot vanish on him so I am totally screwed. I can hardly believe how deeply I managed to get myself into this mess. When I screw something up I go for it with gusto unseen in anyone else. I mean I royally screwed it up on an Epic level the Gods would cringe at. There are probably Gods who are feeling sorry for me right now saying "By Me she really screwed that one up perfectly! May she have mercy upon herself...".

So what to do about it? There is only one thing I can think to do about it and so I did... I took that bracelet off my horn. I melted it in my hand and as that gold dripped so did my tears because I know what I was doing... I was not just ruining some piece of jewelry... I was throwing away my chance. My horn cannot even feel and my whole body is numb to pain but I swear my horn burns where that thing was because it is my heart that hurts. The symbolism of throwing away that possible happiness was more painful than any of my many deaths.

Now I will just have to act like I never said anything that night from now on. I will just have to steel my heart around Mint. I sincerely hope he does not realize anything has changed. I feel so stupid and honestly I had to look myself over and question everything about me. It is impossible to put into words the depths of just how bad I feel about myself right now.

I have a feeling I will be crying myself to sleep a few times in the next coming days. Some big strong Hunter I am... But I am a woman underneath the armor plates and sharp fangs and she has a big heart and when it hurts it hurts a lot.

I desperately hope this relationship with Dae works out for Mint because otherwise my Sacrifice will be in-vain just like it seems to me was his sacrifice of soul to Dimmae.

[Shinkuu]

I did not see Mintshade today... I am not sure if that is good or bad. I guess it is probably good for a number of reasons but that does not mean it feels good.

I have thought up an excuse to use to explain why I must act a bit cold around Mint... I do not know if he will buy it and Tsume wishes I could just be honest with him but I cannot. I will tell him I am steeling my heart for my training... He does not know about the Promise I made to Ruth to not do that...

I wish I could just be honest with him about my feelings but that would put a huge amount of guilt in his lap. If I did that it may jeopardize his relationship with Dae and his happiness. I would feel even worse about myself for being a total jerk like that. It is best if he just does not know and can live happily. It may hurt me but it is what you DO for someone you care so much about.

It will feel kind of awful having to pretend I am not that interested in him... but oh well... At least I will get to hear him laugh and see him smile and such. At least I can hold that in my heart in private and use it to keep me warm...

To make matters worse though I am sick... Dae gets fire massages when she is in the cold for awhile... Me? I get to shiver and hope to make it through without recall. I have been fighting hard in the cold a lot and drank that accused Ice Breath tonic... Some days after a long battle I would literally find that some part of me was frost bitten and falling off and have to magically heal it back on... I guess I know how zombies feel but no one would lament my problems. I guess Tsume does but she shared in them so we kind of lament each other and ourselves at the same time...

I got sick between all this cold and bad emotional trauma. So now I am having trouble breathing and everything else. I look worse for wear and probably sound gross. I could even spread it for all I know. Super duper.

I went to sun myself in the Clearing and found Azu and gang there... Great... Fight while sick! GO! It was a nasty battle with Selarth hurting my Sister and Drysten and Vyrry fighting. Azu shot some crystal into me and made my soul burn part of my body to dust to eject it... I do not know what that was about, maybe it was Blighted, I would surely not doubt she wishes to blight me. It hurt bad though, my Soul is still good at hurting me.

Sadly I was unable to kill Azu though because some big Ancient intervened. ... At first... I thought he was... Well let me put it into perspective. He came down from a fiery angry sky as a plume of fire and sent a shock wave of heat and pressure away from him as he landed. I cannot be blamed for thinking for a moment it was Drulkar himself. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest with the thought but... it was not him. He did seem fairly just though and Azu essentially exiled herself... So she says... We will see if she is good to that word and if she frees her slaves or not. I do not believe anything she says at face value but I will give her a chance. I guess I do not care if she is in exile. I will NOT bother hunting her if she is gone.

The Ancient was judging a lot of people but he did not judge me... Honestly... I am disappointed. I welcome what he would have had to say about me.

I am not sure if I want to take Vyr as a mate or not but... Realizing that I need to kind of give Mint his space for his sake and to honor my friendship with him and that Vyr has been by my side when I needed him most of late I am starting to wonder seriously. Maybe he is just too good to ignore... What flaws he may have perhaps SHOULD be overlooked... Well only time will really tell but I do not have many options.

[Shinkuu]

I spoke with Mintshade at length today... I... Could not go through with the deception. It is just not how I was raised to be and not what you do with a friend as close as I consider him. So I told him everything and much more...

I let him look into my eyes and live my life... Horrible... I can only guess he has gone through worse torment or similar from other lives because he handled it rather well. Amazing it did not crush him with self loathing and pain. I realized seeing my life flash before my eyes that it must be some act of Drulkar that I manage to get up every afternoon and do the things I do.

This all taught me that I care for my Sister more than even I thought I did... I keep on every day for her and perhaps her alone. Though now my adopted hatchie Talika also means a great deal to me. I guess I will keep going for more than just one reason anymore.

Mint can never be my mate according to him. That... makes me feel like a pile of junk. He says he has his reasons and all but... I just cannot help but feel it is a way of admitting I am just not good enough for him. I guess I should not have expected otherwise. After how I screwed that whole thing up I guess I would be a pretty worthless mate... Even if I would do whatever it took to see him live happily and free of all this dread and sorrow. I guess that is meaningless these days. All I can really do now is just close that part of my heart forever. Just accept that he will never be my mate and try to move on and find another.

I will still be there as his close friend if he cares to keep me as he says he does but... I do not know why he would want me. I still care about him deeply even if he will not take me. I guess that is another one of my failings.

He has left Dae after realizing that she only cares about herself and Cynny. I guess that is one positive thing. I did NOT want to see her hurt him but it seems like she already has. Poor Mint...

He also seems rather upset about the idea of Dragons having hatchies carelessly. I can understand to some extent and me and my Sister are Barren thanks to The Gift and the time it took us. We would need major magical help for hatchies to come about and I have no intention of getting it. I am not putting a youth into this horrid world. I will just stick to taking care of some of the abandoned ones.

I think his hatred of this stuff goes beyond though. A fear of "breeding" like live stock but that implies a lack of choice on the part of the Dragons. It is a form of Slavery most foul and I also hate that idea with a passion and would never be involved in it.

[Shinkuu]

I saw the Elf recently in the Clearing. I went there almost instinctively to clear my head. He ran up to me and said my name. Many said my name that day. It was almost frustrating. He wanted something from me but told me he would wait until I was a Dragon again and not a Machine. He seemed hurt in some fashion.

What did he expect me to be like? Wings of Blades, Blades of Wings, Ten Thousand Million Things. The line kept swimming through my mind. The Wings of Blades refers to the way my Soul looks when I am cold and emotionless. It has huge wings made of hundreds of blade-like sections like a Blade Fan almost. The Blades of Wings are the wicked projectiles I have learned to fashion using the Prime. Blades of Air essentially that are devastating. The "Things" refers to all the little variables that my mind has to calculate through on a daily basis. Why that line? I do not know.

I was in an emotionless state when ... The Elf ran into me. I referred to him as Shade. Mintshade or Mint is no more. He even told me that his real name was Niveus but... To my mind he has become literally a Shade. A dark shadowy specter that now haunts me from my past. He is now all that is left of a dead emotion, a dead hope, a slaughtered dream that I had to lose all feeling in order to grind to death under the Blades of my Wings. At least I am not calling him "Elf" I suppose. He would hate that a fair bit more.

The emotional surgery frightened a few of my friends like Vyr and was upsetting to Talika but it had to be done and was of my own volition. No one forced me to do it aside from my need to remain sane. After being rejected by the one I would have taken as mate my heart was demanding payment. Obviously all was my fault and so I should suffer horribly for it. I came very close to ripping out the Spark of the Gift within my Soul, giving this journal and my Gift to Shade and leaving with my Sister to the Eastern Deadlands to hopefully meet my demise.

I could not allow such dark thoughts to undo me and the only way to fix this was to erase that part of my feelings so they could not be hurt anymore. I am lucky in my ability to do so... I guess when I melted that bracelet I was wise after all. I suppose I should feel sad to say that but at this point I feel just numbness about that subject.

I honestly do not understand what Shade sees in me or does not see in me. He must like me to some degree because he was willing to look me in the eyes even after I warned him what he would find there. I know even with a relatively nice person that is not the sort of thing he wants to do and it means he has yet another lifetime crammed in his head causing him to see the world in odd ways. With me it was worse... the Soul Crushing feeling of Defeat and Failure and possibly killing your own beloved Mother even if simply by making a mistake... But her dying because you were not there to keep her from heart break... The pain... The suffering so deep... To willing accept that horror means that he cares about me...

I do not understand him at all however it becomes clear to me. I almost would accuse him of wanting to use me. To use my powerful soul to keep himself alive or to use my strength of conviction to keep him stable but... He would not look into my eyes if all I was to him was a resource. So I guess I just cannot fathom why, but he cares about me for some reason. I wish I could do as he does... See his life by looking into his eyes. It cannot be that much worse than mine.

He told me he wanted to be the very next best things to Mates... I do not know what that is or means. Does he want to be Family? Does he want to be just a "Best Friend"...? I hope to Drulkar he does not want to be like my Soul... That thing is a royal pain. However, I could not help but see and grab one part of the meaning... He says he does not want to ruin his feelings towards me or screw me up by being my mate... I KNOW he has had trouble with them in the past but... All it means to me is that whatever he feels about me, however he views me, whatever I mean to him, I am NOT good enough to be his Mate. I lack some fundamental thing that makes all the difference in the world or I have something fundamentally wrong with me that he cannot accept no matter what.

I am a Dragoness who Tsume accuses of Loving too much... Yes... I feel too deeply and that is why sometimes I wanted to not feel at all. But as I feel so deeply when things like this happen it hurts deeply as well. So deep that pain that I cannot take it.

Fine... So be it then... That is why I did what I had to do. He will be to me much as Shinkuu is now. A friend... Someone I know and talk to. Perhaps less than Shinkuu honestly as I rather respect her as a Huntress but I have not seen Shade fight or fought with him. He will be more like Shadina. Just a friend of mine, that I can trust, that I would protect and that I care what happens to but not much more.

If he runs to me with the same sort of... excitement as he did last time he will be disappointed that I am not going to share it. I will acknowledge him, I will want to see he is doing well not poorly, and I will not mind conversing with him but... Whatever else I may have had in my heart for him... It is gone now... No more. Even as I write these words I can feel an emptiness where once something lived in me.

Talika, my adopted hatchie, is always proving to be a super cutie and my love for her grows. I realize that I am made sad by the lack of a world where hatchies and play and laugh together... A world where Hatchies can be young and explore... That world is gone and not because of the Aegis but because of those evil among the Dragons that kill those types of hatchies or torment them. I will do whatever it takes to bring that world back and Talika will have it first. When I was a hatchie in New Tristmus I trusted no Dragon... I grew up with very Jaded feelings towards them and when others warned me about them that feeling grew. Perhaps part of my horror in the Rite of Passage was having to deal with so many of them and see their power demonstrated... For some it would be vaguely inspiring... To me it was terrifying.

I will be honest in saying for a time I hated what I was passionately. Even now I sometimes have strong memories of how much I abhor other Dragons... I do hope I can make a difference and fix what is so badly broken... Drulkar help me, your daughter, for I am forever lost and uncertain and I feel your disgust and your pain...

[Shinkuu]

I spoke at length with Mintshade again and what I finally realized was that the Dream World he had talked to Dae about living in where the Blight and Evil was a distant bad memory and they could just Live together could be REAL.

As most Dragons I already know how to create small Dimensions for my Hoard and to store things while I travel. So the thought came to me... Why not make a much larger one? Why not... Make my own Plane? Assuredly gathering the power of the greatest minds, digging through the libraries of the Guild, and talking to the right users of Prime and Life it should be possible to create, with the help of others, a Plane all our own.

The Plane... This Paradise... Would be set apart from the Rest of Isaria. We would take all who are of good virtue and heart and vanish within the new Plane. Shinkuu would add to the gates a POWERFUL effect that would erase us from the minds of all things in Istaria such that once we enter that portal... Once we step into those Gates... We will seemingly have NEVER existed. This erasure will be absolute and no one will ever even think to look for us for they shall not remember we ever existed.

The plan hit a little snag when Tsume objected but I have talked her into it. Talika also was uncertain but upon gaining the support of her friends it looks like it will happen. A glorious world of joy will unfold before us. I will try hard to commune with the good Gods as Tsume asks and tell them to move any they feel worthy into our new world. I am not sure how Gods work but... I am sure they have the power to do so.

As for the rest of Istaria? If we succeed it will fall into utter ruin. If the Gods actually DO bring the others across all those who would fight the Blight will largely be gone. The world will fall before the Aegis and no one would ever wish to return to it. It would be a grand land of death with no plants to even allow you to breathe.

It saddens me that Shinkuu will remain in Istaria... She will not come until she has retrieved her Soul... I hope she does it and gets sent to this new Plane by the Gods... If not... the Darkness will consume her and poor Shadina as well... It saddens me to do this... My Father... would weep seeing Istaria fall but... There is nothing I can do. No matter how many victories are achieved against the Aegis more come and new ones are taken from the people. Slave Owners and Hatchling abusers are rampant... The world is hardly worth Saving when so much of those within are more vile than those who come to kill them.

I will ring the Bell and its Toll will ring across the land of Istaria. Farewell those few who remain to fight the evil... Farewell and good luck to thee. Yours is a crusade most doomed. I will lead those who wish it to safety forevermore.

I guess I will continue my journal in the new World... I guess now these pages will help me to remember why we left and the horror that will await any who manage to come back. It is a good thing that Azu will never know I existed. That way she cannot try to open a Portal to that realm because she will not know it exists. Let her live among all the other Scum.

[Shinkuu]

I have spoken with an Ancient who's name I honestly do not know or do not remember. She is a large blue one who is Gravid. I pity her hatchlings... Look at the world they will inherit. At least they may actually be RAISED by parents unlike some but.. That is the best thing they can hope for.

Shinkuu and Mint say they cannot see color in the world sometimes or all the time. They say it only comes about when they are with loved ones or something... I understand this now. I cannot see the colors anymore either. They are gone for me I think. I have dreamed a dream of saving my home from the forces of darkness but more and more I see that it cannot be saved. It embraces its death like a patient suffering horrible pain who wants to just end it all.

So... My life has been pointless so far. Everything I have ever done for anyone has been worthless. Every victory hollow and without merit to celebrate. What good is anything you do when the whole of Reality is doomed? I really need to get that other Dimension made... I cannot stand it here any longer... I cannot fight the overwhelming odds all alone. I feel like my hopes of doing so are the cruel joke of a Dark God and I am the butt of it.

Shinkuu will be mad at me when I tell her that she was always right... And here I am trying to change her to my way... What a fool am I? I guess she should not put up with me. She says she does not suffer fools. Everything she said... Every word of her Dark Master Nihil seems to ring true and clear. I guess Oblivion really is Perfect and Peaceful... If I cannot make this other Dimension I will find a way to try that instead.

The Dragoness says "The world is not black and white." She is right... It is just Black. It is emptiness unrelenting and unstoppable. Drulkar... Istara... Anyone... Forgive us all for failing you entirely. We tried... but a soul and a heart can take only so much... We were not strong enough.

[Shinkuu]

I have so much to say but perhaps there are things I do not want to record here. Let me perhaps only record some good things instead of the bad...

Maybe I will get the bad out of the way fast. I feel like my hands are tied to do what I KNOW is right. It hurts bad and I know for once what the Entombed Will must have always felt like. Also Mint tells me he cannot come into the new Dimension... I do not care if I have to rip off a part of MY soul that stupid elf is COMING with me... ... I... I almost do not know why... I care... But I cannot let him just sit out in the darkness all alone. No... I mean that... I WILL NOT let him do that.

Now some good stuff instead. Talika has begun keeping a journal in a nice black and red book. After the scare I put that girl through... I hold her every night against me. She sleeps better that way and so do I. She is a bit insane I think to admire me so much but... I guess maybe it is the same insane I am. She cares too darned much just like Mom. I am sure she would be elated to hear me say that to so I think I will.

I want to help Asua somehow. She is such a cutie of a hatchling and she seems to be abandoned by most people. She deserves love and affection like every Hatchie. She is a bit odd but I can CERTAINLY relate to being a weird Hatchie. She may be kind of opposite of me as she is earthy and I am all about the sky but... I still think she is awesome. I love her happy noises, I could just squeeze the little thing half to death she is so cute. I cannot FATHOM why ANYONE would abandon such a sweetheart. It makes me so sad to see her alone and scared.

I went to see Elder Nyya... It was a rough thing. I generally do NOT like Elder Dragons. I do not like Dragons bigger than me. I was taught to be careful of them as a Hatchie and everything I experienced taught me that it was wise not to trust them. They have always been evil and mean to me. They have caused me and my Sister nothing but suffering and pain.

Nyya is a bit different though and after talking to her a fair bit I think we are finally friends... It was hard to accomplish but it happened. She invited me to her home where she was sick from being Gravid. I do not recall Sslik getting ill from such but I think she was laying on the egg and pushing it into her tummy. I gave her some Mallow and it helped to calm her poor tummy.

Her mate showed up and after awhile told me he was suffering a little Blight. I offered to cure him and he accepted! It was the first time I have done it and I have to say... It is DRAINING! It feels VERY weird too. I kind of thrust my fiery soul through him and for a moment I was having a MAJOR out of body experience as I burned his blight away and cauterized him such that it could not come back easily. Then I sort of fell back into my body and collapsed.

It was quite an experience but he was very happy to be cured and Nyya was over joyed. Success! Make that 2 points for Zarla! Finally something else to put on the good side of my score board.

At one point silly Elder Nyya decided to lay in such as way as to make her underside totally visible to everyone in the room. I suppose she really did not think about it at all but... Honestly I had to stare at my claws while she was like that. It was an odd experience because honestly I am far sighted and I cannot see anything that close to me very well. However, looking at Nyya would have been VERY awkward VERY fast... Especially with her mate right there. Thankfully, though I was able to control myself pretty solidly so I do not think she even realized why I was looking at my claws so intently.

After her mate went to sleep after his curing Nyya showed me a stone. At first I freaked out seeing her pull out what looked like a magic stone... I do not know why but Magic Stones have NEVER been a good thing in my experience. I had yet to meet one I agreed with. This one was different though. It had a symbol I did not really understand but that felt familiar and warm. When she touched me with it the thing reignited my soul and filled me with deep compassionate warmth... I felt... HIM... It was as if Drulkar put his big hand on my shoulder and comforted me for a time... She told me she got it from Drulkar himself and it was supposed to help the faithful and hurt the destroyers...

I feel very good after being in contact with that thing... It made me feel a bit stronger... Maybe a little bit less alone... All in all it has been a good day for me which is why the moment I am done here I am going to grab Talika and squeeze her hard and me and my Sister are going to curl up with her and have some pleasant dreams.