What does one do?

[Fix]

Right, I really cannot hold this back any longer. I first off wish to apologize for my usual social awkwardness around people reguarding my sometimes-happening outbursts and random moments of rage...which are absolutely random. I tend to have a very short fuse, and let me explain why.


As of...while I am typing this thread, I am at a lesson in Collage. What is my problem? Well the person sitting next to me is a douchebag who has just made it publically clear that from now until the end of the course (that's in TWO YEARS.) he will continue to pester me and someone else. How effective is this?

I cannot work. I am serious. I begin working, get a certain distance, this begins happening and I completely blank out. I had ADD. I cannot consentrait under normal circumstances let alone having some *** whom is 5-6 years old then me aswell as about everyone else in the class breathing down my throat and mocking me in the most childish way possible.

I has gotten to the point where I do not know what to do. What can I do? Report them? Perhaps get them talked to or kicked out? So what? They can come back the next day and either beat me witless or kill me? I can't confrunt this person physically because - well...I am a complete derp when it comes to that. I am running out of options and have become despirate up to the point where - and I am not saying this to attract attention - I am seriously considering offing either myself or SOMEONE else...

I cannot even leave the class - seeing as I probably will never get a class with one or two mature people within it ...yet even they refuse to aknowledge me.

I could really use your suggestions here...I literally have no one else to turn to.

[Dhalin]

Forcing yourself to endure something that you should not have to endure is very unhealthy for you in many ways -- you _need_ to deal with the situation, somehow.

There's no IFs, ANDs, or BUTs about this -- this needs to be solved ASAP.

I was bullied in my highschool years as well and it was having very bad effects on my health, both physical and mental and now that I'm away from that constant bullcrap, I've been recovering/slowly getting stronger, much stronger than I was while I was in school.

I'd suggest going the quiet/subtle route first -- see if you can find some time alone with a professor/teacher/principal/dean whatever people would be the right people to go to in your situation. Tell them about these people who will not leave you alone, especially if you tell them that you have ADD and that they are making it very hard on you to study and pay attention in class. You deserve a fair chance; they are denying you that, and surely the teachers/staff should see it that way and do something about these immature brats.

But, I would suggest expressing your fear of retaliation -- they need to know that there is danger/fears about them retaliation.

If it came down to where you just can't take it anymore, physical violence is never the right way to go about it (even if it does seem oh-so-tempting and/or look oh-so-good on paper). If the teachers/staff won't do anything about it, tell them that you'll simply have to drop out/quit your classes if they refuse to do anything about this and/or look into some sort of legal action if they fail to provide you a reasonably fair environment to learn, I'm sure there's some kind of loophole you could use or something.

[Fix]

Forcing yourself to endure something that you should not have to endure is very unhealthy for you in many ways -- you _need_ to deal with the situation, somehow.

There's no IFs, ANDs, or BUTs about this -- this needs to be solved ASAP.

I was bullied in my highschool years as well and it was having very bad effects on my health, both physical and mental and now that I'm away from that constant bullcrap, I've been recovering/slowly getting stronger, much stronger than I was while I was in school.

I'd suggest going the quiet/subtle route first -- see if you can find some time alone with a professor/teacher/principal/dean whatever people would be the right people to go to in your situation. Tell them about these people who will not leave you alone, especially if you tell them that you have ADD and that they are making it very hard on you to study and pay attention in class. You deserve a fair chance; they are denying you that, and surely the teachers/staff should see it that way and do something about these immature brats.

But, I would suggest expressing your fear of retaliation -- they need to know that there is danger/fears about them retaliation.

If it came down to where you just can't take it anymore, physical violence is never the right way to go about it (even if it does seem oh-so-tempting and/or look oh-so-good on paper). If the teachers/staff won't do anything about it, tell them that you'll simply have to drop out/quit your classes if they refuse to do anything about this and/or look into some sort of legal action if they fail to provide you a reasonably fair environment to learn, I'm sure there's some kind of loophole you could use or something.

I hate being unbearably shy...but I think you are right. I can't just keep this going.

I returned yesterday from THREE LESSONS of it and I was already in the most abominable mood I have ever been.

Today? I've been at it from 8 to (nearly) 4 in the afternoon. So far I've been mocked, manhandled, had my name mocked for several thousand times because...er...saying someone's name is threatening...I guess...and had my voice recorded and player over and over again inclass.

I'm literally sweating and distorting in frustration.

[Dhalin]

I hate being unbearably shy...but I think you are right. I can't just keep this going.

I returned yesterday from THREE LESSONS of it and I was already in the most abominable mood I have ever been.

Today? I've been at it from 8 to (nearly) 4 in the afternoon. So far I've been mocked, manhandled, had my name mocked for several thousand times because...er...saying someone's name is threatening...I guess...and had my voice recorded and player over and over again inclass.

I'm literally sweating and distorting in frustration.

And you say this is going on, in college?

These are supposed to be adults here.

*rolls eyes*

Pretty soon, a generation or two, and we'll see this ridiculously childish behavior in 30 year olds next I'll bet.

[Dhalin]

Another thing to note, if they are 18 and they do any sort of physical violence against you, be sure to take pictures of yourself (bruises, red marks, etc) and then go to the police.

That will teach them a lesson in the law, something called Assault and Battery.

[Fix]

Another thing to note, if they are 18 and they do any sort of physical violence against you, be sure to take pictures of yourself (bruises, red marks, etc) and then go to the police.

That will teach them a lesson in the law, something called Assault and Battery.

I was thinking the same. If they tried anything...well that's the thing.

This is Malta. They don't TRY here.

They stab your arse with a...er..what is it again? muse? moose? Idk.

Anyway, they are far older then I am. Far, far older.


And this feels more like a zoo. Random arguments, people never leaving one another alone unless they prove to be 'ok' people

I have to ask this. Why me? What have I done? I can assure you that as far as memory serves, I have not uttered a single word against them throughout the year. Why? BECAUSE I NEVER TALK. I have never uttered a SINGLE word, other then to tell someone how to do something or greet them back.

[Dhalin]

I have to ask this. Why me? What have I done? I can assure you that as far as memory serves, I have not uttered a single word against them throughout the year. Why? BECAUSE I NEVER TALK. I have never uttered a SINGLE word, other then to tell someone how to do something or greet them back.

Earlier, you hinted that you weren't the physical type; it is just them needing personal gratification by picking on someone who can't fight back.

That's why bullies always target smaller kids in school; they can't fight back and there's little danger and they get a kick out of harassment.

They target you because you're younger, and easily targeted.. that's all it is. And if they are older than you... ugh.

Hopefully you can find some way of dealing with the situation, but like I said, if the college won't help you, surely the police would. Between A&B, Harassment, and other related charges, surely there's something in the books you could nail them with. Maybe a few nights in jail would cool their heels.

[Fix]

Earlier, you hinted that you weren't the physical type; it is just them needing personal gratification by picking on someone who can't fight back.

That's why bullies always target smaller kids in school; they can't fight back and there's little danger and they get a kick out of harassment.

They target you because you're younger, and easily targeted.. that's all it is. And if they are older than you... ugh.

Hopefully you can find some way of dealing with the situation, but like I said, if the college won't help you, surely the police would. Between A&B, Harassment, and other related charges, surely there's something in the books you could nail them with. Maybe a few nights in jail would cool their heels.

Aye...what does NOT help is the fact I am one of - if not the youngest one in class. The only others my age are two women...and of course - they either get ignored or hit on.

[Chasing]

Have a look at the information on this page

http://www.education.gov.mt/edu/edu_...m#antibullying

I would suggest contacting someone on there. If they aren't the right person to talk to they can point you in the right direction.

I do agree with Dhalin that the 1st step to take (although difficult) is to speak to your teacher/lecturer one on one to raise what is happening. If you feel you can't approach your teacher/lecturer then go to the department head or similar.

Educational establishments (as well as businesses) have a responsibility to deal with instances of bullying. If you feel that the issue isn't being dealt with once you have raised it, then you need to make it 'formal'.

Mental bullying is much harder to prove as there are no physical signs. I would suggest that you keep a log of who/what/where/date/time. This is so you have evidence to justify what is happening to yourself. If it gets into a situation of one person saying one thing and another person denying it, having specific details of each occasion it has occurred lends weight to your case.

[Reverse]

Wow I really hope things turn out better for you Fix. Pretty much I echo what others have posted here already..

If it's even remotely still in your mind about Offing yourself, please for the love of god don't ever take that route. My nephew committed suicide back in...let's see. January of '07. He was a senior in high school, and while he wasn't bullied, his girlfriend did break up with him. Yes that's a silly reason to off yourself however he always fell for girls hard.

He jumped off an overpass.

He survived yes, miraculously only because he was in shape and young, however a fall from 50ft 80% of people will die. He didn't, got put in the hospital with a shattered pelvis, broken arms, concussion, and a severed horse-shoe kidney (a joined pair of kidneys). He ended up dying at 9:15pm when we all though he was going to pull through.

I never got the chance to mourn properly as I was making myself be 'the strong one' for everyone else who needed to grieve harder than me. His death has hurt me in such a massive way and I vowed to always steer people away from the thoughts of suicide because of how much it scars the people around them. I once almost committed suicide back in sophmore high school as well, I changed my mind at the last second and I'm eternally glad I never went through with it. I haven't healed from my nephew's suicide and I don't think I ever will.

Point I'm making here, is he was going through serious emotional trauma, and didn't talk to anyone. He knew we all loved him, hell I'd drive across the country to go get him to bring him home safe if he needed it. I Just Wish He'd Talked To Someone.


You are talking to someone, us, anyone who will help you and THAT is one of the more precious actions you could do at this point.

Please don't give in to this bullying and harassment. Please keep talking to someone about this so it doesn't mess you up and make you do something you'll regret.


Personally if I was there I'd protect you in an instant. I was bullied and had some horrible things happen to me in high school even, from that however I forced myself to bulk up and not take sh*t from anyone as that seemed to be the only way to protect myself.

However I don't advise under any circumstances to fight them, or retaliate physically, not only because I'm worried for you and your well-being, but also for legal repercussions. If you strike first they can nail you FIRST with a lawsuit. If they land a hand on you, like others have said previously, WRITE IT DOWN!. Write down the Date, Place, Person, and Location of marks, and action against you, as well as pictures if there are visible marks. You can log that away and then turn it into the police and put those losers away for a good long while depending on the severity of their actions.

Until then, stay passive, tell them politely to please stop. Always remain calm and act unaffected. If they see you getting angry or reacting to their jeering and harassment, THEY WILL CONTINUE. It's a form of physical trolling if-you-will.

If you act unaffected, even if you're biting through your tongue to keep back a retort, after a time they'll grow bored with you seeing as you're not reacting. Hopefully with that they'll just leave you alone.

In the meantime as well, consult your teacher, and if you have to bring an appearance of outrage that s/he cannot properly control his/her class and how everyone is expected to ACT LIKE AN ADULT. If s/he doens't do anything, goto the dean and tell him/her you're doing so so the threat of the higher authority will be hearing about their lack of action to protect you. And if the Dean doesn't do anything, goto the police.

If you can tell your parents as well, look up different resources like the one already provided about how to combat bullying in a PROPER manner. Non-violence is a big one here. Don't retaliate physically unless your life is LITERALLY at risk from what their doing. I doubt they'll go that far, however just be wary at all times, but pretend to be bored with them, unaffected and nonchalant. However be sure not to be arrogant about it. Just ignore them like you can't hear them or they're just noise in the background. Don't even look at them if you can when they're doing their harassing actions, etc.

Don't let them get a rise out of you at all or they'll just continue. And be prepared for them to be trying to harass you in various many ways. They're testing you and testing how far and where they can push and poke your buttons to piss you off.


This advice is coming from me, the one with the very short temper, low tolerance for bullsh*t, and the one who would normally react first with a physical action rather than words if I really let loose my restraint. Like I said, if I was there I'd be protecting you instantly, and I'd make those punks pick on someone their own size for a change and see how wrong they are to pick on someone younger/smaller than them.

But as it stands I can't be there physically so I have to give you as best of advice as I can.

Please keep talking to us about this, let us know how things work out or along as I'm concerned for your well-being and that you're okay in the end.

If you want to you can contact me on MSN: [email protected]

I'm usually online (even if I appear offline I'm still there just send me a message). And I will take all the time you need to help you through this. I hope things turn out okay for you Fixy.

But please speak up about this to a higher authority: teacher, dean, police, etc.

And remember this quote: "Speak your mind even if your voice shakes."

You can do it!

[LungTien Temeraire]

I am really sorry to hear this, Reverse... please accept my condolences.

[Reverse]

o.O well Fixy's the one in trouble, but if you were referring to Daniel (my nephew) then aye, thanks. He was a really good kid and didn't deserve to have his life so abruptly end like that, even of his own design. But I'm healing bit by bit, but it'll be a long while if it ever truly heals. However in the meantime I'm using that pain to help protect others from doing the same mistake or helping them deal with emotional, physical, and mental trauma.

[Fix]

I am really sorry to hear this, Reverse... please accept my condolences.

While I do feel sorry for him >_> thanks for not even bothering to mention ME. THen again, I do not expect any respect from YOU, LungTien. Since of course having your 'almighty' presance in all of my threads either going against me or addressing something or someone completely non sequitor...jerk.

You're no better then THEY are in my eyes, and your open admition has helped shape that.

[Fix]

Wow I really hope things turn out better for you Fix. Pretty much I echo what others have posted here already..

If it's even remotely still in your mind about Offing yourself, please for the love of god don't ever take that route. My nephew committed suicide back in...let's see. January of '07. He was a senior in high school, and while he wasn't bullied, his girlfriend did break up with him. Yes that's a silly reason to off yourself however he always fell for girls hard.

He jumped off an overpass.

He survived yes, miraculously only because he was in shape and young, however a fall from 50ft 80% of people will die. He didn't, got put in the hospital with a shattered pelvis, broken arms, concussion, and a severed horse-shoe kidney (a joined pair of kidneys). He ended up dying at 9:15pm when we all though he was going to pull through.

I never got the chance to mourn properly as I was making myself be 'the strong one' for everyone else who needed to grieve harder than me. His death has hurt me in such a massive way and I vowed to always steer people away from the thoughts of suicide because of how much it scars the people around them. I once almost committed suicide back in sophmore high school as well, I changed my mind at the last second and I'm eternally glad I never went through with it. I haven't healed from my nephew's suicide and I don't think I ever will.

Point I'm making here, is he was going through serious emotional trauma, and didn't talk to anyone. He knew we all loved him, hell I'd drive across the country to go get him to bring him home safe if he needed it. I Just Wish He'd Talked To Someone.


You are talking to someone, us, anyone who will help you and THAT is one of the more precious actions you could do at this point.

Please don't give in to this bullying and harassment. Please keep talking to someone about this so it doesn't mess you up and make you do something you'll regret.


Personally if I was there I'd protect you in an instant. I was bullied and had some horrible things happen to me in high school even, from that however I forced myself to bulk up and not take sh*t from anyone as that seemed to be the only way to protect myself.

However I don't advise under any circumstances to fight them, or retaliate physically, not only because I'm worried for you and your well-being, but also for legal repercussions. If you strike first they can nail you FIRST with a lawsuit. If they land a hand on you, like others have said previously, WRITE IT DOWN!. Write down the Date, Place, Person, and Location of marks, and action against you, as well as pictures if there are visible marks. You can log that away and then turn it into the police and put those losers away for a good long while depending on the severity of their actions.

Until then, stay passive, tell them politely to please stop. Always remain calm and act unaffected. If they see you getting angry or reacting to their jeering and harassment, THEY WILL CONTINUE. It's a form of physical trolling if-you-will.

If you act unaffected, even if you're biting through your tongue to keep back a retort, after a time they'll grow bored with you seeing as you're not reacting. Hopefully with that they'll just leave you alone.

In the meantime as well, consult your teacher, and if you have to bring an appearance of outrage that s/he cannot properly control his/her class and how everyone is expected to ACT LIKE AN ADULT. If s/he doens't do anything, goto the dean and tell him/her you're doing so so the threat of the higher authority will be hearing about their lack of action to protect you. And if the Dean doesn't do anything, goto the police.

If you can tell your parents as well, look up different resources like the one already provided about how to combat bullying in a PROPER manner. Non-violence is a big one here. Don't retaliate physically unless your life is LITERALLY at risk from what their doing. I doubt they'll go that far, however just be wary at all times, but pretend to be bored with them, unaffected and nonchalant. However be sure not to be arrogant about it. Just ignore them like you can't hear them or they're just noise in the background. Don't even look at them if you can when they're doing their harassing actions, etc.

Don't let them get a rise out of you at all or they'll just continue. And be prepared for them to be trying to harass you in various many ways. They're testing you and testing how far and where they can push and poke your buttons to piss you off.


This advice is coming from me, the one with the very short temper, low tolerance for bullsh*t, and the one who would normally react first with a physical action rather than words if I really let loose my restraint. Like I said, if I was there I'd be protecting you instantly, and I'd make those punks pick on someone their own size for a change and see how wrong they are to pick on someone younger/smaller than them.

But as it stands I can't be there physically so I have to give you as best of advice as I can.

Please keep talking to us about this, let us know how things work out or along as I'm concerned for your well-being and that you're okay in the end.

If you want to you can contact me on MSN: [email protected]

I'm usually online (even if I appear offline I'm still there just send me a message). And I will take all the time you need to help you through this. I hope things turn out okay for you Fixy.

But please speak up about this to a higher authority: teacher, dean, police, etc.

And remember this quote: "Speak your mind even if your voice shakes."

You can do it!

You on the other hand...I now feel like an *** for even thinking about offing myself...I'm sorry. It's just really hard. I will pray for him. I will be adding you shortly and I thank you for your signs of...well...caring ^^; it's a rare thing indeed these days.

I will talk to you more about it there and perhaps know you better...though do know I am in a bit of a jam as to my alternatives - seeing as changing the class will also screw me over.

[Fix]

Have a look at the information on this page

http://www.education.gov.mt/edu/edu_...m#antibullying

I would suggest contacting someone on there. If they aren't the right person to talk to they can point you in the right direction.

I do agree with Dhalin that the 1st step to take (although difficult) is to speak to your teacher/lecturer one on one to raise what is happening. If you feel you can't approach your teacher/lecturer then go to the department head or similar.

Educational establishments (as well as businesses) have a responsibility to deal with instances of bullying. If you feel that the issue isn't being dealt with once you have raised it, then you need to make it 'formal'.

Mental bullying is much harder to prove as there are no physical signs. I would suggest that you keep a log of who/what/where/date/time. This is so you have evidence to justify what is happening to yourself. If it gets into a situation of one person saying one thing and another person denying it, having specific details of each occasion it has occurred lends weight to your case.

Thanks for that ^^; I'm sure that site will come in useful. I do think what I am going through is more of a mental bullying.

[Steelclaw]

Whoa. Unless college means something else where you live, there's something seriously wrong going on.

I would expect that your instructor has a responsibility to maintain order in their classroom, first and foremost, and has the authority to remove disruptive or abusive students. Talk to your instructor. If you already have, and they refuse to do anything about it, speak with their department head, and keep going up the totem pole until you find someone who will take action. Permitting that sort of crap in a classroom is tantamount to encouraging it and the instructor doing so should be reprimanded.

Depending on how much you fear for your safety, you should probably also talk to campus security.

Whatever you do, as others have suggested, make sure you document what's going on, and make sure the people above get a copy regularly (but not more often than once a day). You'll need to build a case, otherwise they'll think its an isolated incident. You'll also need something to prove your case if their taunting turns into physical assault.

Now, let's say nobody there wants to do anything despite your pleas for help. You're likely paying the college, and have other options -- GTFO and take your money elsewhere. Don't pay to get bullied. The college certainly isn't worth your time or money if they don't care about you.

[Reverse]

Adding onto also the issue on documenting stuff, if you have one or can afford to get one, get a small voice recorder and keep it in your pocket or something and whenever you enter your class turn it on to record. That way you're also recording what they're saying to you if it's hurtful and nasty things.

[Dragonboy]

Once upon a time I was also a chosen one, thank god that while growing up I became taller and mostly more muscular and I guess they didn’t want to risk it. However I know what it is like being treated like that, many things happened to me that my parents do not even know or that I even want them to know… Fights mostly (my bullies were of my same age btw).

My suggestion indeed would be to follow the advice of Reverse and take a small voice recorder and for the sake of all you love talk to your parents about it… They can talk to the school for you if you are afraid to do so yourself.

Good luck in dealing with this Fix…

[Frith-Rae]

While I do feel sorry for him >_> thanks for not even bothering to mention ME. THen again, I do not expect any respect from YOU, LungTien. Since of course having your 'almighty' presance in all of my threads either going against me or addressing something or someone completely non sequitor...jerk.

You're no better then THEY are in my eyes, and your open admition has helped shape that.

Look I dont know what you got going on here with LT - but that was entirely unnecessary and against the forums rules. (and I don't know what posts your reading but I"ve never gotten that impression from LT in your posts...but okey..whatever.)

Everyone else's advice stands Fix. No reason to create anger and meanness and hatred where it isn't given.

[Fix]

Look I dont know what you got going on here with LT - but that was entirely unnecessary and against the forums rules. (and I don't know what posts your reading but I"ve never gotten that impression from LT in your posts...but okey..whatever.)

Everyone else's advice stands Fix. No reason to create anger and meanness and hatred where it isn't given.

This would be far easier of there was an ignore function on the forums. As someone else said.

PS: So he can openly insult me yet I an barred from doing otherwise? I can't delete the post anyway :/ I would if I could.

I suppose I was just annoyed that he completely missed the subject "Noble" As his tent seemed. I certaintly wish I could delete posts I previously posted >_<