Ever feel like your life is spiraling out of control?

[Shian]

So, we haven't had a car since Christmas. It was nice at first, but now I think I'm getting depressed. Yes, not going out and wasting money on movies or eating out is great in the financial sense, but I' finding four months of being stuck in the house really lame.

Sold the old non working car for 1k. We were going to buy his mother's car back in January/February for the 3.5k we could scrape together and she was going to get a new car. We gave her the money early February.

His mother isn't the best at logical thinking and instead uses her emotions to drive her decisions. Add to the fact that she is getting older where people normally convert to that type of thinking... well... we have a somewhat unstable woman to deal with.

In Feb, His sister's new daughter was very sick. Hospitalized sick. So she "felt overwhelmed" and couldn't give us the car because she didn't do any shopping around for a car for her.

This month, she's facing a higher tax bracket. I can see where that would be very stressful, but life is stressful. These things are going to happen and sadly this woman lets it paralyze her.

Going without a car for far longer than planned for example. My breakfast this morning is naan and honey. There is little else in the fridge. The hummus went bad but we have about 4 pieces of naan with nothing to eat it with. We didn't go get our weekly groceries because she had a dinner appointment. To be honest, I'm getting really sick of the 4 takeout places. Delivered pizza twice a week does not a diet make.

Recently, our landlady has declared that the washer/dryer in the basement is using up too much gas and has closed it despite the fact that it was one of the main reasons we moved here. We find out that the gas company was basing the gas usage off the other properties she uses, so was charging her enough to heat a whole apartment, not use a piddly dryer. Not once did they ever knock on our door and ask to read the meter.

There is no laundromat around within walking distance.

To add to this, we find out that before we moved in the landlady had some work done in the kitchen and bathroom.

Without permits.

The inspector came last week but since neither of us had a list of what the landlady had done, he just marked her for a fine and left.

This means at any time our apartment could be considered unlivable and we'd be evicted.

This week we were supposed to be celebrating our birthdays with the family. The two of us want to go to a pancake house more than anything in the world. We haven't gone to once since late December. We were supposed to go this morning.

That was changed to having it at her mother's house Sunday morning because the baby is still getting over a fever she had last week.

Fine. If I were a parent, I'd lock up the baby too. Not going to be the same, but at least we get pancakes.

Yesterday his mother canceled on us because she had a brunch to go to with the girls so we're both stranded here. Alone. Again. Normally I really don't care for holidays, but how can you tell your son that you're doing something for his birthday and cancel at the last minute?

And this family wonders why I don't consider myself a part of them despite that's what they feel for me.

[Sigi]

For starters, get your money back and buy another car so you're free to go again?

It all sounds awful

[awdz]

*agrees with Sigi* The fortune you're spending on take out could be put into car payments - by not turning over the car as promised, his mother is costing you money. Are her "higher tax bracket" costs more than what she is costing her son? See if her son will let her know you either need the car, your money back, or interest payments to cover the extra costs of having to live that way. Hopefully she'll make a decision and you'll be better off for it.

[Shian]

She says she owes the IRS 18k in taxes, so now we're all in the same boat because of things going wrong in her life.

I understand that she could very well just give us our money back and not get a new car because of this. I'd be fine with this if the woman didn't just ditch us for our birthday breakfast. I've never known anyone that has so little a grasp on the concept of minding other people. I can't count the number of times we've had to cancel our plans to fit her schedule and she shows no gratitude for it and there's no reciprocation.

I'm the type of person to believe in people. I'm also a forgiving person. Maybe it's why I'm shocked each and every time she does this kind of nonsense to her son.

As for just asking for our money back, each time I suggest it to him, he tells me she plans on giving is the car "next week". Which it has been for the last two. Truthfully, I doubt we could get a car in the condition the one we are getting is in for the paltry sum of 3.5k.

[LOVWYRM]

I feel with you Shian. You know I can.

Only comfort I have to offer is a warm, respectful hug.
But no words left for that.

I cross fingers and think of you.

[awdz]

*also gives Shian a comforting hug* I hope you get the car sooner rather than later now.

[Steelclaw]

Agreed with the others -- get your money back. The longer your mate's mother hangs on to it, the more she's going to think its hers to spend -- and then you'll be screwed. At the very least, it's money you can't put into a short term CD to earn interest while you guys figure out what to do.

No offense to your mate's mother, but she does sound a little flaky. If she's been flaky with the maintenance of her car, you might be purchasing a giant repair bill. Treat the transaction as you would any other used car transaction -- have a mechanic or at least someone familiar with the inner workings of cars check it over -- and run like hell if she throws a fit about "not trusting her".

If you think you or your mate will have personal issues with his mother if the car needs repair "soon" after taking possession of it (as in "You should help pay for these repairs because you knew they were needed when you sold the car to us."), just forget about it and look for a car from someone you don't have personal ties with. From the looks of things, you guys don't need more family drama to deal with.

Poke around (classifieds, Craigslist, kbb.com) and see what you can get for 3.5k. It may not be a lot, but sometimes you get lucky. If you're in a small town sort of place, check with the local mechanics -- they might have some cars their customers didn't want to fix or didn't pay for. Making friends with a mechanic isn't a bad idea either.

I don't know where you live, but a bicycle and/or public transit may be options worth looking in to as well. Normal bikes can be obtained for cheap (yard sales, second-hand stores, and oddly, abandoned bikes impounded by the police). Depending on the terrain, weather, and your level of physical fitness, a bike may be sufficient to expand the radius of reachable locations enough that you can put off buying a car even longer. Get two, make it a date.

As for your housing situation, look for rent laws and renters' rights publications from your state, county, and local municipality. Usually, you and your landlord are bound to them regardless of what the lease says. Now, whether or not knowledge of the laws helps your situation or not is unknown, but you won't find out until you look.

[lightning claw]

Kinda in similar times I can relate Honestly I can , But the harder Life becomes. The harder you fight back eventually every thing will rebalanced itself you just cant give in or give up

Keep fighting the good fight and you shale be victorious

No my current situation is not exactly the same in my eyes its a lot harder like what mirror did i break harder

25, My car totaled , no job for a year coming up, living with my folks still , 4 days ago crashed my mothers car X_X thats a Nice 700 $ bill I cant afford, Landlord is dumber than a bag of hamsters and thats insulting to the hamsters (Causing health to deteriorate) ,

Times are rough you can thank the government for the past 16 years of Idiocy and remember if you dont laugh you cry laughter always fights depression

[Shian]

So, the three of us go to a wine tasting class every Monday night.
She loves telling stories but sadly, she's not very good at it and just tells them in the order her head gives them in leaving the listener confused after five or so "Oh before that..." and other jumps in the timeline.
In addition, she is not a not a very good driver. Even worse when she is trying to tell a story while she is driving.

He couldn't go today because he had to work on a project. I can't very well say I'm not going either because then she will get offended that I don't want to hang out with her. I like hanging out with her most times. Just not when she's driving.

Meaning I'm stuck in a car with a woman that decides not to spit and has the above. I shouldn't have gone and instead said I had too much homework or something.

I don't like lying though and I do like hanging out with her.

On the way back she asks me in a cheerful and casual manner, "Do you have anything planned for tomorrow?"

Yes. I did. I was going to go food shopping so we could eat. I was going to eat out for the first time in three months. I was going to go to a new movie instead of the Netflix streaming we have watched three times each because we've been stuck here for MONTHS! What am I supposed to do, woman? Walk down to the park? It's snowing outside today.

Thankfully I did things proper and still had not only my head but an ounce of polite mannerisms. I just said, "I hadn't thought about it."

Grrrr.... this woman. Some good news though, she is going to PA on Wed, so we get to do all manner of title switching and insurance paperwork done. There is a light at the end of this tunnel somewhere.

[RuneDragoon]

Reminds me of one of mine. Not direct inlaws but more like grand-inlaws... Hrmmm...

His mom and dad are wonderful people, especially his mom. His grandfather is also a nice guy, but his wife... oh dear. I don't hold anything she does or says against her because she had a stroke previously I'm told, but I've still not figured out if everything she says and does is offensive to me by fluke or intentional. Its like she gives off this "I don't like you" vibe.

She calls me the wrong name, doesn't take her shoes off when she drops by and tracks dirt on the floor, says things that are classed as being 'foot in mouth' statements directed at me... things like that.

I'm not saying it to be disrespectful to her in any way but this reminds me of your situation where your inlaw seems to be a little bit flaky and drives you up the wall.