Dr. Suess Meets the Loot System
Accused of abusing The pawnbrokers I feed A?hunting I went For the coin that I need Now why do I need coin You might very well ask Why must I regard A game as a task? The answer is simple I say with a grin I need better armor If e?re I?m to ?win? I need mithril amor Not scalemail but plate For the Tier 5 beasties Oft pound on my pate And I?m tired of dying I?m tired of the crap Of a beast hitting through me My armor of cellophane wrap And so I head out To beasts what drop loot Fire golems and pygmies And they give me the boot I kill one, maybe two E?re all their cousins appear I collect maybe two silver E?re I?m running in fear For a dozen or more Of their brothers do spawn On top of my arse While I?m fighting the one But then I come back And fight do I hours Scything the ogres And pygmies like golden-rimmed flowers And when I look up And heal from my pains I see to my horror All that I?ve ?gained? A trophy or three Maybe even a comp For the hours I?ve spent Risking my life in this romp But then what should I spy But a beast with a name OMG I will get Great loot! I exclaim I parry, I block Attack with my might I risk my life and my soul To down a boss tonight I know I might die But ******** all my balls! This boss I shall fell E?re the evening falls! And fall does the boss With my health bar so low That I wonder today How I managed his blows And so anticipation Verily filled all my veins When I clicked on his corpse And wish filled my brains And there was his loot All laid out for me A couple of sap Hmm, maybe three No coin, not a form Not even a tech Pardon me friends But that made me wretch So today I?ll go back To PB ?abuse? With the loot system borked Beasties haven?t a use Vilify me And rag on my friends We?re all simple crafters Making the means meet the ends Would that I could Make the coin that I need To get the forms and techs For the mouths I must feed But you see it?s not easy Without a PB To sell useless things To gather the gold for me My children, my clients Are starving you see Because I can?t make for them Shoot, I can?t make for me All the tools that they need All the weapons they seek Oh not today Not even this week I hunt and I hunt I die and I die And once in a month Is there a tech I can spy So after a month Of hunting and dying I haven?t got much That is really worth buying Blighted gem transmutation Oooo! Now that?s really a find! The only player who?ll buy it Is quite out of his mind So thanks for the loot! Ye Gods of Istaria! If I wasn?t drunk I?d be in hysteria . . . .
Ssafire-lvl 100 Cleric, 100 Bloodmage, 100 Mage, 100 Druid, 90 Monk, Saris
