Tale o' Redbeard an' th' Sea Serpen'.
Hail, ye landlubbers o' Istaria! Me name be Theolyn Thunderaxe, dwarven lass o' the high seas, princess o' the Faer Brine, fair an' prettae tae boot. An' dunnae ye doobt it, else ye be meetin' me boot wi' yer arse.
By an' by, I come tae be a bit o' the worldlae trav'ler, but alwaes the quiet coontry an' rich earth o' Istaria be 'oldin' me 'eart. An' ne'er anoother land 'ave I vis'ted tha' had sooch frien'ly draegons.
Speakin' o' me trav'lin', ye woold nae believe some o' the things I been seein'! The cap'n o' the Faer Brine wos, fer a time, Ol' Redbeard, named fer 'is flaemin' 'air. Clever like the fox, 'e wos, an' sae brave we didnae ken if 'e migh' joos' be crazed. Prollae 'e wos both.
One day we wos nettin' salmon the like o' which ye ne'er seen, plump an' plen'iful, teemin' oot o' the sea faster'n we coold cetch 'em. We wos scramblin' aroond the deck sae fas', we did nae notice the shadow as krept oopbelow the Faer Brine 'til it wos righ' un'er us. The salmon got oot o' there real fas', an' the waves start'd roilin' moor'n yer tummy woold af'er ettin' me aunt's rock stew.
Then we seen it. The bigges' sea mons'er ye e'er seen, thrashin' oot o' the depths righ' in fron' o' oor ship. It righ' towered o'er us, all scales an' slime, an' whot moost've been nae less'n twen'y ten'acles. 'e wos wavin' the long, stickae things 'round the air, fixin' tae take oor ship un'er an' feas' on us, 'til Ol' Redbeard stepp'd up tae 'im.
"Bloody 'ell, whot a lot o' ten'acles ye got!" 'e said, praisin' th' mon'ser. "Why, I bet ye got nae less'n sixteen o' 'em, all told!"
"Sixteen? Bah!" boom'd the mon'ser tae oor cap'n, "Ye be a fool tae coun' less'n twen'y!"
Cap'n Red shook 'is 'ead. "Ye got only sixteen, mate, tha' be the truth! Mebbe ye los' a few somewhere."
Th' mons'er gnash'd 'is teeth together in anger, boot Ol' Red stood faerm. Sae the mons'er decided tae shoo us all 'ow many ten'acles 'e trooly 'ad. 'e brough' 'em oop a'fore 'is face 'an start'd coutin' 'em, weavin' 'em this way an' tha' way sae 'e coold coun' 'em all. By th' time 'e go' tae twen'y, 'is ten'acles wos sae tangl'd oop tha' 'e coold nae pull 'em apar' again! Doon intae the sea 'e sank, ne'er tae be trooblin' another vessel again.
An' tha' be a troo tale.
