Generally I'm not one to dig this kind of rant out into public; but at this point, if I don't rant, someone's getting hurt. -_-;
I've never been a person to attach unendingly to someone else; I've always had the view people come and go as life allows. Maybe it was always moving from one AF base to another as a kid, maybe it was living out in the 'no neighbor for ten miles' sticks when we weren't on an AF base, but there you go.
Sadly this has left me ill equipped to deal with a particular so-called friend who hasn't figured out their part in my life is over and done, just as mine in theirs is. To explain the situation simply: He mistook being allowed to rent an outside apartment from my mother as a hint there was more to our 'friendship'. It took several years of trying to all but cram him down the throats of other women for him to realize that, y'know, maybe he did a li'l misreading there.
Finally he marries, settles down (supposedly)- but guess what? He's still trying to come over and visit. Just him. Not 'him and his wife'- he only comes over on his own, or tries to, and has failed to realize that he is not and never will be invited to do so. He also thinks 'Hey, pretty lady' is an appropriate greeting for a grown woman he isn't married to.
While I have no problem with platonic friendships, I'm inclined to think it's anything but on his end. I spent years trying to get this guy out of my life and he's still holding on by just that one tiny thread that just won't give. I've flat out banned him from my house if his wife isn't with him, informed him the next time he brings either of his two children with him I'm feeding them to the dog in little pieces, and I'm never setting foot in his home (aka- his wife's domain).
And he still just doesn't get it.
I've tried gentle hints, blunt hints, and everything short of shooting him to make him just go away. He was doing a fine job of ruining my reputation with his little visits (I live in a small town on a street filled with old people. Just guess at the rumors that started blooming when a man with a wedding ring on his hand was visiting a house that has only unmarried female occupants.) and when I complained about it along with my demand he stop coming around?
"Well I don't care what they think."
...Yeah, thanks for caring what you're doing to my reputation while I'm trying to get a respectable job here in town. I really appreciate it.
Perhaps I'm just cold to so readily want to give up a friendship; but to my mind, this hasn't been a friendship for a few years now. I swear, if he didn't have a wife and two kids to think about, I would have already visited violence on his person. There's a hospital just across the street, practically- he'd probably live.
His latest tactic now is trying to get all the 'old friends' together: of those old friends, I only maintain willing contact with one (and he isn't it). The other and I went our separate ways shortly after high school. The only time she's ever asked after me is to try to get a free babysitter.
Not a good basis to call someone an 'old friend' on. Sorry, I've got my own problems by the truckload, I don't feel like shouldering an 'old friend's' on top of mine. I'm very tired of being their little dumping ground, like I have no issues of my own.
With friends like this, who needs debt collectors, law suits and a hopeless job hunt to drive you insane? They're doing a wonderful job of it all on their own.
Anyone know any way of getting them to just...go away? Being nice, stone walling, and flat out informing them hasn't worked and I'm pretty well at wit's end for what to do here.